Part II. back in time… brings blackness…

Jessie and I left the doctors office and got into the car.  My wrist and hand and arm felt really weird.  Every time I tried to move my wrist, my whole arm moved… it was like I couldnt move it by itself.  I kept poking at my wrist to see if I could feel it.  Totally weird.  Jessie had asked me if it was alright for her to pick the celebration place.  I was fine with that, because the reality is the only times I ate out were at work, fast food, or with KC’s family… so I really have no idea where to go.

We got into the car and Jessie started driving out of the town in the direction I have never really been.  I watched the big buildings get smaller. After about 15 minute, Jessie pulled into a resturant that looked like an old fashioned place and said “LT, this place has the BEST burgers and milkshakes in the whole country!   And it is a real fun place to celebrate.  Let’s go inside because it is too hot outside for me, ok?”

My eyes were as wide as the moon as I looked at this place and I just nodded my head.

We walked in and the place was shiny and clean.  There was alot of checker tiles, spin chairs at a bar-type eating place, and booths with individual juke-boxes.  It looked like a classic 50s place.  It was busy, but not overwhelming and we got seated by a window.

I suddenly felt like a little kid, checking out the juke box and desparately wanting a quarter to play a song.  I had never been to a place like this and it was so cool.  As I flipped through the songs, Jessie slid 2 quarters to me.  I looked at her, smiled and said “what songs do you like….there are TONS!”  She said “LT, you pick.  It is your day!”  Alot of the music was like “oldies” and some of it I never heard of before.  I tried desparately to think what songs Jessie would like too, so I looked real hard.  I wanted something happy and upbeat, but not offensive…I got to choose 3 songs for ¢50.  At this moment, I was thanking the Hippies BIG TIME for exposing me to all kinds of music… After what seemed like a lifetime of fretting over what to choose, I finally picked (and click for the tune):  Blue Suede Shoes by Elvis,  Yakky-Yak by the Coasters,  and Up on the Roof by the Drifters! 

I told Jessie what songs I picked and then the music started.

JESSIE:  “Great choices.  I hope this place is ok.  You must be hungry since you didn’t eat anything this morning before your appointment.”

ME:  oh yeh… this place is cool.  ive never… like been to a place like this before.    i am hungry.  are you?

JESSIE:  “Yes, I am hungry.  Make sure you get a milkshake, because they are out-of-this-world.”

I looked at all the flavors of milkshakes.  I truly believe you can tell the quality of a “milkshake place” by the classic vanilla milkshake, but it is SOOOOO boring.   I wanted the peanut-butter fudge milkshake.  An internal battle was brewing as I went back and forth between the classic, yet boring vanilla and my desire for peanut-butter fudge.

ME:  they look yummy in the pictures. .. i am torn between two… the classic vanilla for quality test and a peanut-butter fudge because that is my favorite.  LOL.   are you having one?

JESSIE:  “LT, get both.  The calcium is good for your bones and I am sure you will finish them.  Sometimes KC gets two because she can never decide, either.  I am getting a peach milkshake… one of my favorite.  I also like coffee, but today seems like a peach day for me. “

I smiled at Jesse.  She looked so beautiful, so perfect, so super, so…. so very much like a MOM.  I was sitting there thinking, this is what I SHOULD have; conversations, laughs, occasional lunch dates, with a MOM… but my “MOM-world” was filled with none of it, because my “MOM” took off when I was 7 years old.  I was trying to absorb every ounce  I could get from my lunch with my “make-believe MOM.”

The waitress came and took our drink order.  Jessie ordered a medium peach milkshake to come with her a lunch and a diet coke.   I ordered a small vanilla milkshake for now, a large peanut-butter fudge for lunch and a Dr. Pepper with lots of ice for now.   The waitress returned in about 10 minutes with some of our drinks and I tested the vanilla first… Jessie was right, it was out-of-this-world.  It was perfect; texture, taste, creaminess…

JESSIE:  “Good LT, huh?”

ME:  wow.  really good….  you know lots of good places to go.

JESSIE:  “We have lived here along time.  KC’s whole life.  When you stay in one place, you learn all the secrets.”

Suddenly I stopped drinking and I felt slightly weird.  Secrets?  secrets?  It was true, the longer you stay somewhere, the more secrets there are. Racing through my head went… “Shhh… don’t tell anyone, it is our secret.”  “If you tell someone this secret, I will hurt you.”   “You better keep this a secret or they will move you again.”  “This is our little secret.”

I don’t like secrets, I dont like secrets,  I hate secrets… I…. I…. I….    ….  started getting upset.  I could feel my throat getting tighter, I could feel my head getting dizzy…   I could feel things getting far away and distorted and blurry… I could …..

BLACKNESS….

Part III Forthcoming…

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