Foster Care Street
August 28, 2011 at 1:00 am 25 comments
as you probably guessed, i am exhausted and overwhelmed. thus, i literally laid on my futon and on the floor all day watching tv and sleeping. somehow i wound up watching Sesame Street ALL day. first let me say, that when i was growing up with my bioparents, we did not always have a tv, so i never saw much of Seasame Street. i remember seeing it in foster homes, although by the time i was watching it, i was 8-9 years old.
Sesame Street is an amazingly creative show, filled with lessons and teachings about life and growth for children.
As I watched a day of this show, I realized how in some ways Sesame Street is incredibly similar to the Foster Care System. Follow me here…
1. Tons of kids, no bio- parents, a few foster parents
There are always kids on Sesame Street, but never any bioparents. The kids are running in the streets, playing in the streets, hiding, talking to strange creatures, and generally not supervised, until it is time for a lesson, or to sing, or someone gets hurt. Crap, even the puppets are kids! Big Bird and Oscar are only 6 years old!! Where are the bioparents? Maybe they only show up when court-ordered…
But there seems to be several “foster” parents who watch the children – Alan, Gordon, Susan, Leela, Susan, Gina, Gabbi. These humans act as care-takers to both human children and puppets alike teaching them everything about kindess and manners to nutrition and hygiene to letters and numbers. These “foster parents” step up to care for children with no families in Sesame Street. But like reality, there are not enough “foster” parents for all the children and muppets. The ratio of children to parent is too high… Sesame Street needs more “parents” in the neighborhood.
*Fact: Interestingly, they used “real kids”, no child actors were used and it is reported that the cast of Sesame Street had to learn to “get used to the sponetiaty and unpredictable behaviors” of the children ….just like foster parents getting used to new foster children.
2. The “waiting kids” are never adopted, instead its healthy newborns and international toddlers!
Believe it or no
t, at least two adoptions have occurred in Sesame Street. Gordon and Susan adopted a child and Gina adopted a child. But guess what? Neither occurred through foster care. Nope. As far as I can tell, Gordon and Susan adopted their son as a HBN and Gina went to another country to adopt an infant. So in Sesame Street, there are tons of children with no bioparents, but they remained unadopted… probably because they are too old…
.
Oscar the Grouch has lived on Sesame Street for ALONG time. He can be found living in a garbage can, implying perhaps that he is trash. Many people don’t like Oscar initally and clearly he pushes people away by telling them to “SCRAM” or “GO AWAY.” Oscar also hoards items that seem meaningless to most people.
Some people consider foster children trash; because they come from “trash” and it is “not their problem.” Additionally, the foster care system throws many foster children out like trash as well, when they age-out of the system. Many children with no-where to go, no connections… dumped and forgotten about. Dumped like trash.
**Foster children who feel unwanted and bad about themselves, push people away… by acting-out or acting-in. They tell people to “SCRAM” or “FUCK OFF” as a way to protect themselves from getting hurt. It’s all defense and self-protection.
Like Oscar, some foste
r children hoard items that many people would think are “trash” and meaningless… little notes, wrinkled old photos, candy wrappers, broken toys, etc. I can remember carrying around an empty M&M box that I had gotten one Christmas. I ate all the M&M’s but kept the box “for memories..” Trash to some, special to me.
.
4. No-one believes the children
There is a character called Snuffleupagus who has been around Sesame Street for ALONG time… but only Big Bird (aged 6) could originally see him and believed his existence? He is a HUGE brown 4-legged, long snuffle-nosed creature that people could not see? WTF?
According to Wikipedia, in 2006, Snuffy was revealed to most Sesame Street human characters…
Guess what?
The reason he w
as revealed to the Sesame Street world, was because concern was growing that children were becoming scared that NO-ONE WOULD BELIEVE them if they revealed abuse to adults… since no-one believed Big Bird for so many years since they didn’t see “it.“ Snuffy became “real” to encourage believing children.
In foster care, there is alot of denial too. Denial about abuse, denial about mis-use of money, denial about people not doing their jobs, denial. There is a big fucking wooly monster in the room, and nobody can see it… (HERE, HERE, HERE)
.
Cookie monster has an unhealthy relationship with food. His diet consists of cookies, which he shoves into his mouth at rapid speed. Most foster children have fucked up relationships with food. They hide food, hoard food, eat weird things. I sometimes ate everything till I puked and something ate nothing, preparing for starvation when I moved homes. As a kid, I sometimes ate paper, sometimes carpet, sometimes banana peels, sometimes other random things to try and stop the starving. As an adult, my relationship with food is still unhealthy. (Click here for guidance with food issues).
Ironically it appears cookie monster has had this issue for along time and no-one has gotten him the treatment he needs. Just like foster care when mental health needs and medical needs are at times neglected…
.
6. Learning new things and making a difference
Sesame street
teaches kids differences about people and introduces kids to other cultures. In fact, Sesame Street has had characters from minority and ethnic cultures since the 1970s. The series even introduced a character that was HIV+, handicap characters, and has dealt with death. Lots of things for kids to learn…
According to Wikipedia, one of Sesame Street’s initial and primary goals was preparing young children for school, especially children from low income families. The show’s producers used modeling, repetition, and humor, to fulfill their goals. MODELING, REPETITION, and HUMOR are qualities needed for “good” foster parents.
Being in foster care opens the doors for children to learn about different cultures and lifestyles. “Good” foster parents can open a world of opportunity to foster youth, who most likely comes from poverty, low education, and abuse. From my life with “good foster parents” I learned things that I am still using today… what better way to help a child and leave a mark on their life…
Entry filed under: Uncategorized. Tags: aged-out foster kids, Foster Care, foster child, foster home, foster kid, foster parents, sesame street, social workers.






1.
KimB | August 28, 2011 at 1:19 am
I love Sesame Street. I love this analogy.
I did not know that about “Snuffy.” I am old enough to remember when no-one believed Big Bird and glad it changed. Feel better LT.
2.
MamaMama | August 28, 2011 at 1:25 am
That was nice LT. I love Seasame Street. Good analogy. Nice post.
3.
caroline | August 28, 2011 at 1:29 am
The cookie monster comparison is hysterical. Amazing he does not gain any weight eating all those cookies. LOL
Very creative LT. I love how you come up with these random comparisons.
4.
Splintered | August 28, 2011 at 1:37 am
The M&M box story broke my heart. God that seems so sad.
5.
dimple | August 28, 2011 at 2:22 am
really good post! i thought that cookie monster eats vegetables sometimes now, though? as a kid, i know that if given the choice between a carrot and a cookie, i would have always chose that cookie.
maybe soon on sesame street, one of the characters will adopt a child from foster care. that would be rad.
:]
6.
Crumble | August 28, 2011 at 3:11 am
DAMN! Who knew Sesame Street could be so profound! You make my head spin! What brilliant insight! You should print this out and show it to Dr Val, because it is amazing how many elements of foster care really are represented in Sesame Street. Mind boggling. I feel kinda ‘blown’, actually… Like my mind is still catching up and processing.
This is probably the analogy that has hit me the hardest for some odd reason… Maybe because I grew up watching SS? Maybe because it is such an accurate analogy? It is just so… stark?
GREAT JOB, LT. I need to reflect for a while.
7.
tarian | August 28, 2011 at 4:58 am
Hey LT, I found your blog while following random internet links (probably from somewhere feminist?). There’s a lot of your life that sounds familiar to me, although I didn’t get to my mental state by way of the foster care system. I just wanted to say I hear you, and it’s not your fault, and things can get better. If you want somebody to chat with on living with DID, self-harm, coping strategies, how to learn stuff that you were “supposed” to pick up as a kid, or just silly random stuff, I’m online nearly all the time.
8.
Fi | August 28, 2011 at 5:30 am
I remember hearing somewhere that shows like this (one here in Oz is called Play School), where the grown ups speak kindly and wisely, cos for heaps of kids it’s the only kind and warm voice they hear.
9.
Steph | August 28, 2011 at 10:45 am
Wow, I never knew that about Snuffleupagus or about the kids on the show. I always learn something when I read your blog!
Sending feel better wishes your way.
10.
Broken | August 28, 2011 at 11:20 am
Great insights, LT. Thanks.
11.
Last Mom | August 28, 2011 at 12:11 pm
I haven’t seen Sesame Street in decades. I’ll have to check it out! I k now there are a lot of new characters since the 80′s. My daughter struggles with both the hoarding and food issues you mentioned, especially in times of stress (like when big transitions – such as back to school – are going on).
12.
Becca | August 28, 2011 at 1:04 pm
LT, you are so insightful. Thanks for helping me see things in new ways.
13.
MamatoMany | August 28, 2011 at 1:17 pm
Thinking of you.
Super post!
14.
James | August 28, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Nice1
15.
Crumble | August 28, 2011 at 2:11 pm
I am STILL thinking of this analogy… MAN – this, for me personally, was the most thought provoking post… I still don’t know why it affects me so profoundly. But it is really sticking with me…
16.
The Sleeper | August 28, 2011 at 2:54 pm
Sesame street is a classic, just like you LT. It is fascinating to me your ability to create analogies in everyday things. I’ve always had a soft spot for Oscar, he was completely misunderstood.
17.
michelle v | August 28, 2011 at 5:34 pm
another great illustration. good job encouraging good foster parenting
♥ michelle
18.
Foster Mom in Training | August 28, 2011 at 9:23 pm
Your words inspire me as I continue on my journey.
19.
Krista | August 28, 2011 at 9:24 pm
*blink*
I’ve never thought of Sesame Street that way before. Wow, LT, this is so incredibly thought-provoking…you are amazing, you know that?
20.
butterflysblog | August 29, 2011 at 8:09 am
Sweet LT – I love Sesame Street too. I love your analogy; so true!!!
– Butterfly
21.
Lori | August 29, 2011 at 5:50 pm
Okay – true enough…. Now, since I am a former and I want to foster parent (teens only please), what do I do to do it right? I am scared I will screw up a kid….. sigh…. help.
22.
Dinah | August 30, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Great writing, LT. But, how do we know that we are doing right?
23.
tikun olam | September 2, 2011 at 10:11 am
Your Oscar was simply brilliant. Really, really brilliant.
24.
Lindsey Nicole | May 3, 2013 at 2:39 am
Damn, I didn’t think of it until now, but I totally hoard little weird things. I think I’ve held on to a candy box myself… because, holy shit, somebody actually gave ME a present.
I fucking love your blog, by the way. It’s refreshing to hear a real foster kid talk about the shit that sucked, and the shit that was weird, instead of all the “pity the poor foster kids! adopt them!” results I get on Google when I’m up late at night trying to understand the shit I went through as a kid/still go through.
25.
LooneyTunes | May 5, 2013 at 11:25 pm
yup, i kept that candy box until some clueless foster parent threw it away. i kept an ace from a deck of cards forever and a bunch of rubber bands. thanks… you missed alot of years that i pulled off this blog. come over to the new blog and join in the conversation. people need to learn stuff from our perspective. we never had a voice then. peace.