About Me
I am a 20-something who is trying to make it in the world. I spent most of my life growing up in the foster care system. I was raised in 13 different homes (bioparents + 12 foster/group homes) and only a couple were truly “homes.” I aged-out at 18 with no connections and nothing and have been struggling to make it ever since.
No matter how hard I try, I feel like I am falling further behind in life. Without my dogs and cat, I am not sure I would be here. I struggle everyday to keep alive and not pull the trigger. I am a liberal minded person, but feel strongly that child abusers and animal abusers deserve no compassion. I am a product of the foster care system and it will become clear that “the system” both saved me and failed me.
Read my blog to find out more….
1.
Pens and Needles | November 29, 2009 at 3:55 am
Thanks for the link. Your words mean a lot to me, I’m glad that you are speaking and educating people of the things foster kids really go through.
2.
Sarah Olson | December 3, 2009 at 12:28 am
Hi, you might want to visit http://www.no2abuse.com/ . Teresa Cooper, one of the site’s authors, grew up in England’s version of foster care. She’s inspiring and also has a great sense of humor, which helps when times feel dark. Keep writing. It’s what helps to keep me sane.
Take good care,
Sarah
3.
Elizabeth | March 1, 2012 at 12:43 pm
it was so sad your cool
4.
epi_speaks | December 14, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Foster kid and proud of it!
Glad you’re speaking out! Am excited to read through your blog and see what you have to say!
5.
Sandra | February 15, 2010 at 12:47 pm
You have more strength and smarts than you realize. Your blog is amazing and personal. It leaves an effect to those reading it.
Don’t stop writing….it serves many purposes including educating people who don’t know anything about foster care as well as being therapeutic for you.
I hope that you can someday realize that you survived all this shit for a reason.
6.
Ms. E | April 8, 2011 at 12:05 pm
I agree Sandra!
7. Foster care alum tells how it is, and how it was « CASA Gal | February 20, 2010 at 9:33 pm
[...] LT’s blog’s About Me section she tells us, I am a product of the foster care system and it will become clear that [...]
8.
Sally Borghese | March 31, 2010 at 3:11 pm
The system SUCKS !! iN ALL RESPECTS !!
9.
Christina | April 21, 2010 at 6:15 pm
i just kind of stumbled on ur blog. I too aged out of foster care and I do feel they did me a horrible injustice. I’m glad ur putting ur voice out there
10.
elizabeth | May 24, 2012 at 12:14 pm
heyy im happy your doing this its good for you and for everyone
11.
david read | September 2, 2010 at 1:52 pm
we should collect people like us and publish some books. i know exactly what you’re talking about. I feel jacked up mentally everyday and its hard to get out of bed. i’ve tried to think of ways to solve my problems but information and resources are scarce. i’ve felt lost and like an outcast all my life, and even more so since i got out. i’ve done a lot of things to fix myself, like joining the marine corps, just to find out that the whole comradery thing doesn’t work for people like us.
12.
fosteringidahoteens | October 7, 2010 at 11:47 am
I don’t know how you are able to carry on given the burdens that you must handle in your life. Given that you are taking time to present a full and realistic picture of your experiences, you are changing the perspectives of other people that are dealing with foster children. So, even though you suffered beyond measure, you are also helping others – possibly beyond measure as well.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how I might engage the system to make changes. One area that I know I can do now is to advocate for certain families to become foster parents of foster teens. However, I will NOT do this in the way that it was done for me (way too rose colored). Rather, I intend to advertise the position of foster parent is one that is extremely difficult, requires all of your flexibility, stretches individuals to significant exhaustion. Even though it might be difficult, in the very long run, it will be worth the effort.
I would like your advice in this effort of mine, if you are willing and able to give it. What would you want to say to a perspective foster family in order to make sure that we get the right people in the job? My thought is that we need people that can handle the super ugly situations and horror stories and not freak out.
13.
hope | October 22, 2010 at 7:36 pm
Your words are ROCKING the world. Keep it up . I will tell more and more about you. More and more will hear and be moved to get up and do something!
14.
abbiek | October 24, 2010 at 4:28 pm
I read your blog on your home page an d you make a lot of good points—I couldn’t agree with you more. I WISH that I had had the opportunity to be your foster mom.
I did foster a hundred children and some of them were difficult but we made it.
All of those points you made I would like to share with our next training class. If you have them all grouped together and wish to send me an e-mail I will make copies and distribute to them.
Bless you and I wish you peace. You are very talented. I think I told yhou that several months ago.
15.
BG | November 11, 2010 at 10:05 pm
heavy duty stuff you say.
I understand also about being a foster kid, and…had it not been for my cats…I would have a much harder time. I have much to say, but not sure what…
I will say, I am “X’ whom is the person who was written about in Jess’ (Osolomama) blog…to be adopted or not?
If you wish to connect with me, please do…Jess thinks we have many similar stories, yet years apart…
Be safe, strong…
B
16.
parent advice | November 13, 2010 at 1:01 am
I will add this blog as a favorite very informative and i like the overall desighn of this blog thanks for sharing.
17.
Misty Knight | December 1, 2010 at 3:37 pm
I have recently considered volunteering as a CASA. Reading your blog has inspired me to move forward with this decision. I hope that I can give a voice to someone like you (who’s someone much like me at your age) and be a constant in their life. Thank you for your honesty.
18.
Jack | December 20, 2010 at 9:01 pm
We are looking for aged out kids to adopt.
WOULD LOVE TO ADOPT ABOUT 10 KIDS!
J AND M
E-mail is:
JackHB1967@gmail.com
19.
julie | December 22, 2010 at 10:59 pm
Hi, LT.
We have some things in common. I am a few years older than you, and have a lovely family that I’m making for myself. Please contact me, if you’d like to get to know me better. I think we can be friends. I mean it.
best,
Julie
20.
Helen | December 26, 2010 at 2:48 pm
I too was a foster child. Read my website http://www.fosteringsuperstars.org. God bless you. Yes, it’s very hard, it’s taken me over 40 years to find my voice. Now, I can’t stop talking about our lives, what is means to truly “be alone”. I am here for you, I understand you, I am just another version of you, sadly…. there are even more of us out there. We need to find them, we need to help them. We need to unite, and we need to speak for change. It’s so hard to get to the other side, but it can be done. My heart bleeds for you, my heart also feels for you. Love and blessings. Email me through my website. I’d like to get to know you better.
21.
stephanie | December 29, 2010 at 3:27 pm
Hey I am reading your blog. Email me
22.
Dymphna | January 2, 2011 at 1:14 pm
You are SOOO lucky. I would’ve given anything for a Dr. Val in my life at your age. OMG…what a wonderful luxury. I can’t quite get my head around it. So, yeah, I admit it: I’m wistfully envious.
You’re one of the “resilient” ones. We do end up with disorders all along the spectrum of DID, but with help like Dr. Val there is hope for us. We’ll never be “whole” like normal kids, but with luck…we can fake i to fit in somewhere.
Churchill called his deep depressions “the black dog”. Boy, was he ever a poor lilttle rich kid! His mother admitted to at least 200 ‘lovers’. His father eventually died of siphyllis. He had a beloved governess who took wonderful care of him until he was shipped off to boarding school at age 6. English boarding schools were abusive and inhumane. Talk about shit holes. To the day he died, Churchill kept a picture of his ‘nan’ on his bedside table.
When his mother’s labor pains came on, she was having a ball (literally) at their mansion. She went into the pantry, splurted out the baby who would grow up to save England, and then went back to partying.
I admire survivors. You’re one. I hope you’ve read Judith Herman. She sure makes sense out of our craziness. And look at (if you can bear it) “Too Scared to Cry” by Lenore Terr. She made me see why I never expected to live beyond age 19, or 25, or 30, or 40…or why I could never make plans for my life. I wasn’t going to be here, so why plan?
My daughter had DID — all the way over to the end of the spectrum. Love is nice, but it’s not enough when your very self is fragmenting into a million mirrors fo other would-be selves.
Oh how I miss her. The morning after her death I woke up to the sound of her voice, laughing. She said, “So tell me, Mom. What are you going to do with this, the first day of the rest of your life without me?”
Yes, she had a brutal sense of humor, a sharp wit. If you can laugh yourself into some distance from your suffering, it helps. When her father refused for 2 years to let anyone put up a headstone on her grave (he “owns” the cemetery plot), it caused me immense distress until one day she said quite clearly, “hey, Mom? Don’t worry about it. I always lived in substandard housing anyway, right?” That’s what I mean by a keen wit.
I have no idea what your spiritual preferences are. But for my own sake, I’m going to pray for you. It will give me something to do, adn I’ll ask my own child to watch over you. She loved the idea of guardian angels and I know she’ll _really_ like the idea of being one herself, though I doubt she’ll actually tell me about it.
I offer one suggestion that has helped me: to list, everyday, five things you’re thankful for, or that make you glad.. Obviously, your pets and your doc are three, but get right down to the nitty gritty of your life and dig out those tasty crumbs. Like gratitude for the memory of those petit fours.
Me, I am grateful right down to my toes for morning latte. And weather — weather makes me grateful unless it’s unbearably, sinkingly hot-hot or it’s 18 degrees outside and the electricity is out. The sheer pain of extreme cold — well, I’m damned grateful for electricity. And hot water. And the pattern of tree limbs in January.
In all my searching for “cures” — ain’t never gonna happen — the one dependable habit is the practice of gratitude. Pollyanna was right.
23.
insaneheart09 | January 13, 2011 at 10:29 am
Thank you for sharing your story and being an advocate for foster care reform. It’s really heartbreaking to know what you and others like you have gone through.
24.
zero21764 | January 20, 2011 at 1:32 am
I’m with you man, just letting you know there is light at the end of the tunnel heres my blog in case you want to chat
http://fostersurvivor.wordpress.com/
25.
wannabe | January 21, 2011 at 7:34 pm
hey LT…thanks for sharing your story. I hope to foster children some day and your words of wisdom will help greatly in how i treat them
26.
Sage | January 26, 2011 at 5:38 am
Hi LT,
I am an american student studying theatre stuff at school in England. I have a class called creating and faciliating which is just a fancy title for writing shows and performing them.
Ive read your entire blog, and 2 people I am working with in this class have read it as well. We really want to turn your story into a show, exposing the american foster care system for what it is.
I know this might be scary. I wouldnt even use the name LT if you didnt want me to… but we are using your blog as our story. We want to give a voice to your story.
My email is sagemunky@gmail.com I would love it if you would contact me, to guide us on this… if you want.
We have 2 weeks before the show goes up. We would love to email with you or skype if you can – I know you say your computer is cheap hahaha – but if you could that would be awesome.
We think the foster care system SUCKS!
27.
amy | February 3, 2011 at 1:25 am
WOW I just found this site by chance and I am so impressed by you and your strength. I am so sorry for the struggles you have gone though. I truly hope and pray the bad years are behind you. Thanks for sharing your story. It is one that needs to get out there.
28.
Ebony Downing | February 3, 2011 at 1:43 pm
You are gold. You are worth millions. You are a survivor. You are someone like me. And I’ve been searching for someone like you. For we are out there, most of us are hidden behind close doors. But me and you we are on a long road to recovery. We are seeking help. We have exposed ourselves and we are looking for the rest of our sisters and brothers, to tell them we’ve been around the world and we are as normal as everyone else. The whole world is filled with problems, even those who were not raised in the foster care system. Together we must save a life.
29.
Ms. E | February 11, 2011 at 11:04 pm
I just found your blog on Derek Clark’s FB group page and began reading it. Thank you for giving voice to our current, former and transitioning foster youth!
I’d like to post your blg on http://www.facebook.com/pages/For-A-Childs-HEART-Inc/74060947948
and invite you to be a guest on “HEART Talk! with Ms. E” Internet radio program.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/hearttalkwithse
Please let me know if you’re interested.
Hearts & Blessings!
Ms. E
30.
Ms. E | February 11, 2011 at 11:05 pm
Oops- -that should’vebeen http://www.blogtalkradio.com/hearttalkwithmse
31.
Kim | February 26, 2011 at 9:27 am
You are a very talented young woman with wisdom and courage far beyond your years. I’m happy to see you turning your pain into something productive…
your writing. I hope you will write a book one day…you have an amazing voice that screams to be heard and I know that so many will be positively affected by your words. Thank you for sharing your world with us. Don’t give up. The world needs you and your pearls of wisdom.
32.
Laura | February 28, 2011 at 2:03 pm
I am a nurse employed by a foster care agency, I found your blog and am interested in using some of your posts/articles for a newsletter to help enlighten/educate foster parents. i am seeking your permission. Please contact me at your earliest convenience. Thank you.
33.
LooneyTunes | February 28, 2011 at 6:41 pm
Laura- i tried emailing you regarding the use of my blog. your email address was undeliverable.
Can you try posting again with your email so i can contact you? — thanks.
34.
Laura | March 1, 2011 at 1:04 pm
I did receive your email. Thank you for your quick response. I replied to that message.
35.
MamatoMany | March 4, 2011 at 9:18 am
Greetings LT!
Do you have a paypal account? I have a belief that when I am blessed financially that I would like to in turn, bless others. Well recently, I got some money unexpectedly, and I would like to pass some of it on to you. I read every post you write and you have blessed me so much! I would like to help you out just a little.
36.
LooneyTunes | March 5, 2011 at 12:04 am
Hi. Thanks for your offer. It is very generous. But i don’t have a PayPal account and i don’t take money from people. This issue has come up before and for me, i believe it keeps things cleaner. Money complicates alot and is also very complicated for me. Additionally, by not taking money, my words here have “no reason” behind them except to tell my story and maybe help other people (ie. i am not trying to benefit from my life story; just trying to help others)
If you were blessed with money and you want to share it, look for a children’s home/orphanage/group home and donate there. Or buy a whole bunch of toys, games, books, clothes, bed linens, etc and donate to the homes. Those homes service many children in foster care.
i can remember playing with games that had missing pieces or broken parts because everything was used and beat up.
Thank you for your offer though. Keep reading.
37.
188 | March 12, 2011 at 3:00 pm
I stumbled on your site and believe that you are doing a great thing here. When I was almost grown, my family started taking in foster kids. I agree with you whole-heartedly that the foster system needs a major over haul. After the state took kids away from us for no reason, blocked two adoptions and told my mom that she had to lie to a couple of kids, she quit the foster system. She then went to the proctor system (which is still taking in kids, but it is older pre-teen and teen age kids in trouble with the law and needing a place that isn’t jail). Between the two systems my mom took in 188 kids and a few that weren’t in either system.
It is good to let it known that the system needs work. A lot of work. Most people have no idea. Keep it up.
38.
Galaxian | March 18, 2011 at 11:51 pm
Coping with major medical problems on the streets is a nearly impossible grind. You can go to the hospital, but not necessarily have anywhere to convalesce after discharge. Many other dysphoric thoughts flow through your head when you are homeless, such as…
Homeless do resort to numerous subterfuges to get by, capitalizing on points of ignorance the housed population is subject to regarding the phenomena.
Homeless folks are tough birds. They made it through yesterday, so they’ll probably survive today as well. I did, for many years…
I’m not really young anymore and do not know how much time I have left or whether I will ever get out of poverty. I can recognize tough birds when I see them. You are a tough bird. Much too tough to blow your brain out with a pistol. You will have to make decisions, all involving alternatives that suck. Somewhere on God’s green acres down here, you will discover the strength you need to continue. Please have faith, if you can.
Not everyone in the world has become a corrupted asshole yet. Some of us still care. I like to fancy myself one of them.
Best of luck, and goodbye.
39.
Iris D | March 25, 2011 at 2:28 pm
LT,
I would like to help out foster kids, or those who have just aged out., but I don’t want to go into this blindly. Any suggestions on what might be a good place to start?
40.
elizabeth | May 24, 2012 at 12:17 pm
me to (:
41.
Stephanie | April 7, 2011 at 10:43 am
I am a foster parent, and reading your site has really inspired me. I feel like I have done a lot of the things you mentioned about being a good foster mom, and it worked!! You have given me so many ideas, and hope of being a good foster parent!!
The things you have wrote about are truly amazing!!!!
YOU are making a huge difference in the lives of other children who are experiencing the same things as you did!! how awesome!!!! Stay strong and keep making such a big difference in the world!
42.
Chelsea | April 8, 2011 at 11:40 am
Thank you so much for writing your blog. My husband and I are looking into becoming GREAT foster parents after I’m done with school. I just want to ‘get it right’, and I am so glad that I can read firsthand experience of people who obviously did not. I still have two years but I figure you can never start too early for something you are passionate about. So, I figured I’d start volunteering through Court Appointed Special Advocates and go from there. Thank you for taking the time to share your story. I’ve also found that blogging is especially therapeutic. Just get it all out.
43.
Amanda Emerson | April 12, 2011 at 4:01 pm
I just stumbled across your blog. I am a social worker, 20 something, hoping to be accepted to grad school for this Fall so I can become a clinician and work with foster youth…I currently work for a reunification program, offering supportive services to help people who have had their children removed for reasons of substance abuse or mental health issues, inorder to help them get their children back in their custody.
Your words mean a lot. Thank you for writing and advocating.
Do you know that because you were in foster care you would be eligible to go to college for FREE?
I have so many good books I wish I could lend you…actually, I wish you lived close so we could get some coffee one day…you remind me so much of my best friend growing up, she had a very similar upbringing as you did, and because so moved around so much I have no idea where she ended up, or how to get in contact with her. But I think about her daily, and I think about you now too….so you may feel alone, but atleast know that where ever you are Im hoping only good things for you.
44.
Emily | April 12, 2011 at 9:27 pm
LT, i know that you are sharing your story as part of your healing process and for those of us out there to learn, such as us foster parents. Have you ever considered taking legal action? I have been a foster parent for only 2 years now, and had the same children for 2 years. This is shocking since the federal law dictates that the children’s parental rights should have already been terminated. In my educated opinion, the agency that handled our case failed to comply with the law, and as such, failed you.
In my research, what I have found overwhelmingly so is that the agencies and judges are mostly in favor of birth families, not the children. I believe that precedent can be set, which supports changes to the laws, that these continual delays, and lack of putting the needs and best interests of the birth children FIRST violate that child’s constitutional rights to have a safe and happy life. I haven’t found any cases yet fought from this angle, but I think it could happen.
I know you don’t want money, so even if you won, you could donate the money to a special program that helps children who age out, or heck, just start one yourself. But the bottom line is that unless something drastic changes soon, the odds of ever changing the status quo will become harder and harder and more children will suffer unnecessarily considering there are thousands upon thousands of folks like me out there who want nothing more than to parent children whose birth parents have failed them.
45.
Danny Goldberg MD | May 14, 2011 at 2:08 am
Well said!
46.
Callida | April 28, 2011 at 6:09 am
I stumbled on your site and believe that you are doing a great thing here. When I was almost grown, my family started taking in foster kids. I agree with you whole-heartedly that the foster system needs a major over haul. After the state took kids away from us for no reason, blocked two adoptions and told my mom that she had to lie to a couple of kids, she quit the foster system. She then went to the proctor system (which is still taking in kids, but it is older pre-teen and teen age kids in trouble with the law and needing a place that isn’t jail). Between the two systems my mom took in 188 kids and a few that weren’t in either system.It is good to let it known that the system needs work. A lot of work. Most people have no idea. Keep it up.
+1
47.
What Makes a Good (Foster) Mom? « Adventures in Foster Land | April 29, 2011 at 5:32 pm
[...] upon a blog by a former foster child who has since aged-out of the system. The blog is written by LT, a twenty-something girl who is struggling to figure out how to do life without a family and in the [...]
48.
julie | May 5, 2011 at 8:56 am
hi i am also 22 and was in foster care most of my life its good to see there is people out there how dont try and 4 get lookin 4world to reading xx
49.
mohammadreza | May 21, 2011 at 12:30 pm
i am iranian boy . 20 year old . in 10 years old by father abuse ( my english is fuck) my hand was break but in my country there arent no law for protect than childs .
50.
Amy | December 18, 2011 at 10:50 pm
I understand your English. That is horrible! I am so sorry! Your father should be in jail. There SHOULD be laws against abusing children.
51.
nicole | June 2, 2011 at 5:45 pm
hi..
…i don’t really know how i stumbled across your blog but eversince i did like 2hrs ago i have not stopped reading. although i wanted to go to bed aages ago.
you have a beautiful way of expressing yourself. i am in the middle of enjoying your words and tears, because of what you had to go through!
anyways i am far from finished reading, so i will continue tmwr.
just wanted to post quickly before going to bed,..
…to share this with the world is very courageous and i can’t believe you get mean comments. :/ but i am glad that you continue to share your journey! kudos!
your story and your words really touch me.
i don’t pray but if i would, i would pray for you
so anyways you are in my thoughts now,..which might equal praying.
i am sure i will post here again.
truely all the best for you!! from europe!
52.
Tanya C | June 10, 2011 at 7:18 am
You are amazing for surviving! i was also in the system from 5-21, wrote a book: surviving foster care and making it work for you! never think of pulling a trigger-you are here to save or change another life! keep reinventing yourself, loving you, surrounding yourself with people who love you, positive energy.. and you will see the universe will bring you what you want and need! The world is a better place because YOU are in it- Don’t ever forget that! our parents are only a vehicle to get us here, i speak all over to foster kids and this message is crucial for us to know. We all have divine purpose. I worked through all my issues with therapy and meditation….years…once you get that, life is a piece of cake, even in a storm!! i am on twitter under fosterkidsunite..and blog via google: fosterkidsunite, fosterkidsonly,fosterparentsonly and exfosterkidsunite…You are a blessing to many, keep sharing and caring! Tanya
53.
Lura | July 14, 2011 at 3:57 pm
Wow! Thanks for the vindicating blog posts. If you haven’t heard of FCAA yet check it out http://www.fostercarealumni.org/. I joined a few years ago and have progressively been more involved with making changes or just volunteering. It’s sometimes therapeutic but sometimes causes downright “PTSD” symptoms. Thanks for letting this out of you. It helped me today. I’m 34 and I was in care from 6 – 18. I struggle ALL THE TIME with issues relating to being in foster care and mostly it feels like I just NEVER BELONG….anywhere. FCAA and other alumni groups help with that feeling…Keep writing! I’ve subscribed to your blog!
54.
ImAFoster | July 18, 2011 at 2:19 am
I was in foster care myself. Thanks for sharing your story!
55. Suffer not the Children « My Blog | July 29, 2011 at 4:48 pm
[...] race for adoption… foster kids finish last” (the language in this and other posts by looneytunes09 are a little corse. So please take that into consideration before choosing to follow the link). [...]
56.
Sarah | August 23, 2011 at 6:10 pm
I’d like you to know that your words inspire me. I have recently reached out for help in getting out of my unstable home and away from my father. I recently lost my mom to breast cancer, and I promised her that I’d stay strong and ask for what I need. I’m only 15… I am now living with my Aunt, and have support from counselors, family, and friends. Your story inspires me to share my own and I want to write a book someday. Thank you for sharing so much of your life and experience with us. You are so brave and so strong, and please never give up on yourself. Ever Ever Ever. You have gotten through the worst of your life. You are strong. Never change.
Love,
Sarah
57.
Mimi | September 19, 2011 at 9:12 pm
I am sorry that you have had such a difficult upbringing. I can understand how circumstances have led you to believe you have no choices in life, but I want you to know that you do. You are no longer a kid and things no longer have to happen to you, while we have no control over EVERYTHING, there is a lot we do have control over. Try to revise your perception and work to figure out what are those things that you do have control over and begin to build the life you wish to have. Maybe you can begin by defining what you want, and follow up by taking small steps that get your closer to achieving your goals. Surround yourself with positive people that have love to give and choose to change all the negative self-talk. Allow yourself to embrace the little girl you were, the one that felt unloved and out of control, nurture her by being kind to yourself, it’s the best gift you could ever give ‘her’!!!!
I hope someday you will learn to love the woman you’ve become and realize that you couldn’t have gotten there without having been where you’ve been.
Warm wishes!!! I hope you are granted the serenity to accept the things you cannot change; the courage to change the things you can; and the wisdom necessary to know the difference.
58.
Sandy | October 4, 2011 at 11:45 am
I am so sorry that your life has not been an easy one. My husband and I have recently taken in a foster child, although he is only a baby, we smother him with love and provide the best care possible, because no child should go through the things many foster children go through. From your writings, I see a highly well spoken, bright, intellectual and good natured person. You should be proud of what you’re accomplishing with this site and the suggestions you provide to many foster parents, inlculing myself. I hope your journey in life leads you to a humble appreciation of who you are and what life has taught you, regardless of the cruelties you’ve endured. We are not all bad people and there are many that do care about you. Keep a chin up and continue to do good. No good deed goes unnoticed. God bless you always!
59.
Lura | October 27, 2011 at 3:34 pm
Hi LT! I just wanted to share this with you today! I just heard about it from FCAA. Check it out! http://voice-for-adoption.org/sites/default/files/H.R.%202883_P.L.112-34.pdf
I hope you are ok, I think of you often
Take care!
60.
Heather | November 13, 2011 at 12:21 pm
My twenties were the hardest for me, too. Trying to recover from the past and trying to forge a fresh and successful life ahead is a difficult challenge. Connecting to personal stories in literature always helped me. This Boy’s Life, Memories of a Catholic Girlhood… and a host of other stories like it. As for figuring out what to do with my life, I followed my passions and pursued avenues through trial and error.
Wish you luck and healing.
61.
Kindness Ohio | November 21, 2011 at 10:46 am
I live in canton ohio I have 2 kids my kids are in foster care I’m still fighting for my kids I would like for anyone to contact me my e-mail is kindnessohio@att.net we have to all come together to keep fighting for all of are children we have to stop cps / family court cps is all about lies / money
62.
Angie B. | November 25, 2011 at 8:58 pm
Hey there…. I am 34 years old, I am an adult foster kid…. It just occurred to me that any time I describe myself completely, I have to use that “kid” bit….. Do we ever get to grow up, I wonder….. Anyhow, I have to say, you are 20 years old? Well, you are much further along in your own healing than I was at your age. I found writing to be the answer also. I just didn’t start until I was 32. Keep going and anything you feel you can’t write here. Write it somewhere.
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sarah ann | January 3, 2012 at 10:55 pm
I am a foster licensing worker for professional foster homes in arizona. I do my best everyday to support foster kids by finding homes they will thrive in. Being a foster kid is difficult enough without having shitty foster parents to add to the mix. Keep speaking out it gives others courage.
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Newton | January 5, 2012 at 7:14 pm
Led to your blog by a friend. I have nothing to say that could be of help and at the same time sincerely wish there was something that could. It hurt me to read of your story, and at the same time your resiliency, openness, honesty, and some true quality I’m not sure I can identify have at the same time heartened me. It’s hard to have faith in humanity when they can so damage another person like yourself, but for you to tough through it and have this air of, again, I don’t know how to describe it, well YOU restore that faith. No matter how badly or irrevocably you have been hurt – damaged – broken… you are a good person. You are a person of quality. You have value to the rest of us – already you have touched a lot of people just by putting your words in print. I wish you all the best.
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doesmybumlookbiginthis | January 17, 2012 at 3:56 pm
Hey, i nominated you for the Blog for Mental Health pledge 2012 because i think your blog is so insightful and interesting. Here’s the post – http://doesmybumlookbiginthis.org/2012/01/17/blog-for-mental-health-2012-project-bitches/
xx
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TJ | January 28, 2012 at 4:20 am
I’m not really sure how I came across your blog but I did and I want to cry, I know that people exist that have been through what you have but I have felt so alone for so long. I truly believed no one really understood what it was like, I feel guilty not caring about other people’s problems because I felt they where insignificant… I’ve woken up in the hospital disappointed to be alive… labeled mentally unstable…nurses, doctors, therapists try to be nice, try to “fix” me but they are an insult to my mind and body, they show up on the clock when I’ve spent my life just needing one person to show up and be there, be nice, love me unconditionally, not use me as a toy, paycheck or convenience. No one does and I’m not sure anyone ever will, I don’t even think I am capable of letting someone even if it was possible…
So many memories have come up this last year for me, reading your blog gives me relief (mental hug). The night time sleeping thing makes so much sense! I never thought about my body naturally learning to defend itself like that…I remember once in school I fell asleep in class and when the teacher touched my arm to wake me I started screaming and punching him…everyone thought I was weird. I got expelled for hitting the teacher… if only they knew that school was the safest place for me to sleep, I only made it worse for myself!
I’m 25 now…Just had my birthday last week…my birth father died a year and a half ago, I saw my mother last year but I had to tell her who I was it was a bad day. I lived with 11 foster homes.
A friend told me that foster youth suicide rate goes up around their birthdays and holidays. I didn’t want to kill myself that day, I wanted to drink.
I decided to try therapy this year I think I’m ready even though I don’t like the premise and it makes me feel worthless, I’m well aware that there are people out there who can try to help me.
Thank You…for all your words you inspire me.
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wildgeesethatfly | January 29, 2012 at 9:42 pm
Because I adore your blog I have nominated you for 2 awards. The Versatile Blogger Award and the 7X7 Link Award.
You can accept these awards by meeting the requirements on my post http://wildgeesethatfly.com/2012/01/29/and-the-award-goes-to/
Congratulations!
Jeny
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Madelene Hunter | February 20, 2012 at 12:29 pm
I am a California/San Bernardino County former foster kid – I became a foster child advocate in & around 1986 when a member of California’s Legislature invited me to the state Capitol to shadow with him for the day. He was interested in my input on what its like to be a foster kid. I would shadow w/ this legislator many times over the next 18 years. In 2001 I was contacted by a foster mom who’s 12 year old foster child had been removed from her foster home under false allegations & and after multiple moves to group homes – thru out the state of California – was lastly moved to Metropolitan State Mental Hospital – where I found her (a couple of weeks after running away from her last group home being raped while on the street) When I found her in the mental hospital she was filthy – dirty hair – ugly dress 2 sizes to big – shoes 2 sizes to small – all borrowed from another on the unit – because the social workers left behind her personal belongings – when they had removed her (1) year before ! Her multiple moves – rape & removal from her beloved foster mom’s home had been to much – as evidenced that day I found her in the mental hospital as she cried & cried as I rocked her in my arms – in the room they locked me in with her that day. I vowed that day as I rocked her that I WOULD TELL THE WORLD WHAT THEY DID TO HER. I would find an independent film producer who helped me produce a documentary on California’s broken foster care system. The Protectors is the documentary that was the result – there are many interviews on this documentary – several from aged out kids – from California’s foster care system who were part of the California Youth Connection. One interview came from a foster girl from ChildHelp USA. who’s perception is one of being good for kids – not necessarily so… I invite you to contact me if you would like to order The Protectors documentary – madelenehunter@juno.com
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Krista | March 6, 2012 at 7:40 pm
LT, I ran across a song today that reminded me of you. I hope you like it. http://youtu.be/XrET4KhgV58
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Christina | March 16, 2012 at 10:50 am
Hi LT,
I too was a foster kid aged out and now in my 30 something. I have created a blog called fosterchildbynightspiritualwarriorbyday.wordpress.com. I went through some horrible shit from my birth parents to the four foster homes I was in, to my ex-husband and now I can just look back and know I was a warrior through it all. I wasn’t a bad kid, I got good grades, I was an athlete, I went to great colleges and now I am on my way to being a doctor. It was the families that i got put with that made it impossible for me to become even better of a person, from the physical, mental and sexual abuse. It was just a chain reaction first my parents, then my foster parents. I never had one good parent. But i took the abuse as a kid and turned it inward and used it to work harder in other areas of my life like my athletics. I was a runner. I found that when i would run long distance it would make the anger go away, it would shut down the extra adrenaline off so I couldn’t be mad back or act out. I didn’t have the energy too. I still run today to help me but I’ve had to learn through my running that I don’t run to run away from something, I run because I love it and it’s what makes me feel good. Find an outlet that brings out this spiritual warrior inside you. Don’t let the days bring you down. One bad day can turn into many more. Thank you for blogging and sharing your story with people who have been in the same situation. It’s great to feel that were not alone.
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Grandma Tammy | March 30, 2012 at 1:53 pm
AMEN Christina..
I pray you become that Doctor you want ot help other.
I with I take everyone pain. I sickens me to know what others have done to each and everyone of you. I think KARMA is getting them. I feel it.
I was a child not in foster care..but I was raped my a brother and my mother would look the other way when My step father would bet us. it was like she didn’t care. I know how pain is.
I pray you become a DOCTOR and show the love for all children.
Bless you
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Grandma Tammy | March 30, 2012 at 1:46 pm
LT..Please send me a Email. Tameria46@Yahoo.com
I would like to help you help me.
I have been helping grandparents for the past 10+ years to open up and see this is happening to children like yourself. I have been fighting for Children NOT to go into foster care and to be placed right away with grandparents as the USA law says.
Read the law when it first started here in the USA and what it said. and HOW it says children WITHOUT blood family is in foster care..children with Grandparents or other familiy memebers who are willing to take and care for the children are to be handed to them right away..NO child should be put in foster care if they have GRANDPARENTS like myself.
Help me help other children like yourself.
OPEN the eyes to more Grandparents in the WORLD. ONe city and State at a time
Please send me a email ..I really want ot talk with you
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Paula | April 14, 2012 at 1:50 pm
Hi, Thank you for your writings. Though not a foster child, I too seek connections in this world. Recently divorced and in my 50′s, after moving alot I have no “home” or sense of family or belonging. I believe this is a state of existance that many people are fortunate to not to be able to relate to. Sometimes being a “loner” isn’t a choice so much as it is a circumstance.
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Melissa Meengs | May 15, 2012 at 11:37 am
Hello. I’m working on a newsletter to go out to foster parents; and I’d like to summarize your article about “The Hippie” foster parents to include. I hope this is all right with you and I’d be happy to post you the article before it goes out. Your site is great and I’m recommending it to the foster parents I work with.
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LooneyTunes | May 15, 2012 at 11:15 pm
hi Melissa. you can use what you would like. i mostly ask that people include the link to my blog when they use my stuff, because on most days, it is nice to have comments and suggestions from other readers. thanks.
peace.
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Melissa Meengs | May 16, 2012 at 4:11 pm
Will do! Thank you.