Posts tagged ‘bad foster parents’

If the foster care system was a teacher, what would it TEACH long-term foster kids?

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1.  Younger is better, whiter is better, and lets put those with special needs in “specialized care.”

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2.  You will most likely stay at least 2 years…so don’t think you are going HOME any time soon.



3.  You are not important and your feelings do not matter.

  • We move you “just because.”
  • We don’t answer your phone calls; and never check voice mail.
  • We don’t check in on you like we are supposed to; because we are too busy.
  • We split up bio-siblings.
  • When we move you, instead of talking about your feelings, we take you to McDonalds or Dairy Queen so that you can eat your pain away; afterall, food is a great comforter.
  • We move your “stuff” in trash bags and boxes; afterall you are no better than that…right?
  • Lies are part of life.  We lie because we dont know the answer.  We lie because we dont want to give you the answer.  We lie because well, you dont deserve the truth…you are a kid.
  • We talk about you in court and in the sessions before court like you are NOT there.
  • We ask your opinion and it goes in one ear and out the other…because we already made the decision.

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4. The longer you stick around, the more you are unwanted, unwelcome, and unworthy.


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5.  You are not worthy of or deserving of good health care, good dental care, or a good education.

  • If no providers are available that take Medicaid, oh well…
  • We move you around schools without any thought regarding the disruption in your education.  We don’t care if you learn, really….we just have to find a placement.
  • Crap, where are your school records?  Hold on. We will get them.. it should only take a month for you to be able to register in your new school.  Really, does it matter? —  you are so far behind anyway!
  • It doesn’t matter if you were doing well with THAT therapist … we just have to find a placement.
  • Dentist?  what is that?
  • You can’t see?   Squint harder…

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6.  Once TPR happens, you are NOBODY’S CHILD.

  • There is a small shot in hell you will become “somebody’s child” if you are older than 5 years old; no-one wants older kids.
  • You have NO parents — you have the state.
  • If your parents are available, we will allow you one last goodbye visit.  Anyone see how fucked up this is?
  • If your parents are not available, all the better.  Prison great!  Abandonment great!  Your parents are lost and who cares about one last visit.
  • We won’t try to keep any photos or mementos for you when you get older.  We dont have the time to try and help explain your life.
  • Placements get harder to find, so we just give you to anyone…anyone…yup, anyone! (until they get caught)

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7.  As you age and get more scared and more sad….. you get more hated and more feared. Teens, oh god!  What do we do with them?… Since no one wants them, throw them into group homes; let them learn to survive since they will be out on the streets shortly anyway.

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8. If  you are not a foster care “success” through reunification or adoption, we don’t care about the failures.   

  • We kick you out with nothing; many without a highschool degree.
  • We do not have enough ILPs.
  • We force you to go to another agency to help or save you – like Covenant House or shelters.
  • Once you are out and on the streets — we don’t “see you,” even when you knock on our door for help.
  • You aren’t really OUR problem.
  • We wont give you your foster care records.  Some are confidential under social service laws, some are lost, some it takes years of red tape, some require legal battles….  ALL THOSE FUCKING YEARS OF MY LIFE…….shouldn’t they be mine?

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9.  … after all  it is YOUR fault for never getting a family — you should have been better behaved, less problematic, cuter, displayed less acting-out … you see no-body really wants you and you blew it.


Great lessons to be taught… eh?

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December 28, 2010 at 4:23 pm 27 comments


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