being an aged-out foster kid sucks

.

because…

.

… when it is midnight and you are hurt and in pain

…you have no mom to comfort you.

.

… when it is 1:00 AM and you are scared and alone

… you have no mom to protect you.

.

… when it is 2:00 AM and you are trying to find anything to relieve the pain

… you have no mom to call out for.

.

… when it is 3:00 AM and you want to die, because life is not getting better

… you have no mom to reassure you that this is just a set-back.

.

… when it is 4:00 AM and your face is covered in tears

… you have no mom to gently wipe them away.

.

… when it is 5:00 AM and you want to blow your brains out

…  you have no mom or family that you could turn to.

.

… when it is 6:00 AM and the world is waking up to a new day

… you have no mom to greet you or check on you.

.

… when it is 7:00 AM and the world is going about its day

…you have no mom to care for you and help you make it.

.

oh god, what did i do so wrong

to not have a mom

can you hear me?

how much more pain do i deserve

to make up for whatever i did?