No family or medical history, thanks to foster care which screwed me


I have to find a doctor in my new city.  My thwhite-prescription-pad-with-writing-and-doctor-s-signature-on-green-s52odb-clipartyroid medicine needs a prescription and the old doctor only gave me 5 refills.  I hate doctors for a ton of reasons, but let me start with two… The forms and the questions.



The forms are long and filled with tons of questions.  They ask who my emergency contact is.  That gets left blank…. and then the ladies behind the desk keep asking me to fill it in.  I stand there looking like an ass. I read it, I just can’t answer it.  As they keep asking, people in the waiting room overhear all the co-motion and I can feel all these eyes staring at the back of my head.  Damit! I have no-one to fill in that blank. I supposed I could fill in KC, but the reality is I think it is meant to be for someone in your family that has authority to make medical decisions for you.   I don’t even know… but I know I always leave it blank.  Maybe I should write my pet’s names in, so the ladies behind the desk would leave me alone!

I hate trying to explain that I have no family.  Unless you have no family, you simply cannot understand this.  There is a hole the engulfs all your self and  people either look at you like you are a  loser or with pity… I don’t know which one is worse.nobody-child

Also on the forms there are all these questions about family history of disease.  Well guess what?  I have no freaking idea…. I am a medical mystery.  The only box I could probably answer correctly is “fucked up bioparents” and I could put a check in that box.  History of Cancer?  dunno….  History of Diabetes?  … dunnno… History of heart attack?  Guess what?  dunno that either?

Besides the doctor not knowing,  I don’t know either.  That’s kind of frightening considering I don’t take care of myself.  Who knows what will happen to me when I get older.

Then there is the doctor.  Oh man.  They tr03-secrets-doctors-wont-tell-docy to ask the same questions on the form and I REALLY do not know the answers, that is why the form is blank.  They look at me like I just don’t want to answer or that I am holding something back… are you kidding me?

In my case, I doubt foster care could even have gotten this shitty information from my bioparents. Right? They were so screwed up and my mom disappeared. But they could have tried from my biofather while his ass was sitting in prison… maybe.  Gosh, I hope they try to get medical information for foster kids today. It seems like it is such a big component in people’s health…

Sometimes I just want to scream—I have NO family medical history …. because I have NO family. …bio or foster… is that hard to understand?



August 18, 2018 at 8:21 am 6 comments

What are you watching on TV? It’s time for a new analogy.



Lately I have been watching this show calBig Brotherled Big Brother?  Have you seen it?  I can’t decide if it is the stupidest thing I have ever seen or not.


But what I do know, is that it really reminds me of foster care...

Follow me here….

There are a whole bunch of people who don’t know each other in a house. Just like when a foster child enters a new home. The foster child does not know anyone and has to learn about the new family. In the beginning of Big Brother, the players sat around and talked about themselves and learned about each other.  Sounds like a new foster family experience to me!101009e

They all share beds… none of those players have their own beds.  They are always in other player’s bed. Foster children don’t have their own bed. It sucks!  Everytime we move, there is a new bed that we need to get used to.  Someone else’s bed.  Someone else’ comforter and freaking pillow. Someone else’s mattress and skin cells on that bed.  Nothing fresh, barely anytime new. Usually nothing that I would have picked out.  But heck, foster kids coming through, who cares about what they like? I guess it was better than sleeping on my bio-parents floor…

turning181Someone gets kicked out and can’t come back.  Welcome to the world of foster care. Kids come into care and then they get kicked out… they either get kicked out when they are moving homes, or the worse, kicked out when they are aging out.


Some of those players have food issues.  Seriously, some of them eat all the time.  Foster kids have food issues.  Some eat everything, some eat nothing, some hide food, some leave food staying around.  All kinds of issuptsdes. I hid it, hoarded it, ate it all, threw it up, you name it, I did it.

There seems to be alot of mental instability among all the people in the house. I am no therapist, but some of those people seem to have issues.  One was even a life coach and I think she had major issues.  Most foster kids have lots of mental health problems — PTSD,  EDs, ODD, OCD, RAD, depression, anxiety, etc–thanks to the trauma that kids experience, foster children need help.

too-bigThe players wear the same clothes alot.  Foster kids don’t have alot of stuff.  Nope they move around with the minimal. I wore the same clothes alot.  Some foster parents never let me take clothes with me. New school clothes – bahaha.  New clothes at all?  Mostly hand-me-downs or Goodwill (which mind you, I have written about the greatness of Goodwill being good for my ass). Too big, too small… make it fit.

Big brother has competitions where one person wins an award.  Foster care is like a competition. The best kid wins the award — a forever family.



The show is not about normal lives.  Foster care is not normal.

See how similar they are?  Oh wait, tonight someone gets kicked out… reminds me alot of foster care……


August 16, 2018 at 6:48 pm 7 comments

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