Archive for October 3, 2011

To all the GOOD foster parents… past and present


To all the GOOD foster parents…



  • Giving me my first stuffed animal to hold tight… and comfort me through the night
  • Showing  me that spilled milk and dropped cranberries are just “accidents” … and do not mean that I should be hit, kicked, burnt, or locked in a closet because of it.  “Accident’s happen… no reason to cry over spilled milk”

  • Teaching me the “slipping slidy soap” song… so I could remember to use the soap when I bathed/showered  (I still know it today!)
  • Listening to my secrets, that no ears should hear … and responding appropriately, caringly, and honestly.  Not dumping me for the revelations I shared

  • For never shaming me, embarrassing me, or threatening me with scary punishments even when I was horrible … I had enough of that, right?
  • Making sure Santa Claus came… because alot of times he didn’t   😦

  • Recognizing that how I lived is REALLY different than how you live … and being patient, as you help me adjust
  • Teaching me to respect nature … and to find comfort in its beauty
  • Encouraging me to dance my feelings out …. and accepting ALL of them, including those in the “FU dance”

  • Laughing at times …  when you wanted to scream!
  • Doing things that were younger than my chronilogical age, such as reading to me or playing games, because in reality my emotional and developmental age were much younger… or I never did those activities



  • Talking about my bioparents without negativity.  But being honest
  • Being ok with me sleeping on the floor or under the bed or other strange places…  because it felt safer …

  • Explaining what happened in court or what the worker said, so I was not taken by surprise…
  • Treating me like I was a real member of your family…not just “the foster kid.”
  • Not reminding me of the “check” that was associated with me…


  •  Becoming emotionally invested in my upbringing and caring…

…even when it hurt…


October 3, 2011 at 9:39 pm 46 comments

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