A year is a fucking long time…

January 4, 2015 at 10:32 am 89 comments

.2015

It’s 2015.  I never thought I would live to 2015.          I am weirdly shocked, yet strongly cautious of “another new year.” It already feels the same as what I remember 2014 feeling like.

Most people make New Year resolutnew-years-resolutionsions like “I want to lose weight” or “I want to give up soda” or “I want to blah, blah, blah….”  I don’t make year long resolutions because its probably another thing I would 100% fail at. Instead I try to make daily resolutions… like “Today, I will not kill myself” or “Today I will try and make a friend” or “Today I will not fuck up at work” or “Today I will get back on my bike” or “Today I will accept all my parts and why they exist” or “Today I will comb my messy hair…..”  I usually fail at 50-75% of these resolutions, but I do have some success in my daily resolutions, so it doesnt make me a total failure…

A year is just too long for me.  When I was growing up, I barely lived anywhere for more than a year, barely ever went to the same school for a year, and barely ever knew the same people for a year.  When I lived on the streets after aging-out, I barely knew what day it was… as time had little meaning for me then.

A year is a LONG fucking time…

… a really long fucking time….

 Such-A-Long-Time

Now if you are reading this blog, and you feel the need to tell me that you had the same years and experiences as me and are living a great life or that my suggestions aren’t helpful, this year is the time to stop reading and find a new blog to entertain you.  Because I can guarentee you that your years are not the same as mine (unless your life story is exactly the same as mine and you had my bioparents and then all the same foster parents then lived on the same streets and…. you see?)

The number of years I spent growing up in craziness and then being on the streets are more than the number of years of me being an “adult” and being safe on my Hiding_Behind_a_Mask_by_SaerahHaytchown; so my world is terribly skewed and grossly behind most people my age, even in simple things like safety, trust, or simply wanting to be alive. I recognize that it takes years to change the things that were ingrained in me for years; and that simply cognitively telling myself shit, doesn’t fix the shit… it only masks it.

2015 is another year.  It may or may not be the year of this blog.  It may or may not be the year I go back to school.  It may or may not be the year I “date.”  It may or may not be the year  I kill myself.  It may or may not be the year I get back on my bike and stop walking everywhere.  It may or may not be the year I stop seeing Dr. Val.  It may or may not be the year I give up Reese Peanut Butter Cups.  It may or may not….

…….A year is a fucking LONG time…..

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89 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Sara  |  January 4, 2015 at 10:49 am

    The idea of daily resolutions is great. I usually break my New Years resolution within the first week 🙂

    Reply
    • 2. LooneyTunes  |  January 4, 2015 at 2:40 pm

      i break alot of my daily ones too. such is life….

      Reply
  • 3. jordynn28  |  January 4, 2015 at 10:50 am

    literally was eating reesses cups for breakfast. no reason to give them up. so.weird.

    anyway..keep the blog going if you want to. i hope you do. you are doing good in the world and don’t owe us anything including being ‘better’ or having all the answers.. you aren’t here to be inspirational or blah blah. you ARE to some. you are informational to others. we don’t matter though. honestly you are what you say you are and you say what you said you would say. we read it. or we can choose not to. (now for the second cup)

    Reply
    • 4. LooneyTunes  |  January 4, 2015 at 2:41 pm

      Reeses cups for breakfast is the best. put some vanilla ice cream on them and you are golden and healthy.
      i don’t think i could give them up if i tried. i once wrote a blog about ODing on Reeses…

      Reply
  • 5. wedderburn5  |  January 4, 2015 at 11:21 am

    A year IS a long time and I’m glad you are here to share it with us. Look forward to reading more of your blogs.

    Reply
    • 6. LooneyTunes  |  January 4, 2015 at 2:42 pm

      thanks. we will see what happens this long year….

      Reply
  • 7. Foster Mom in Training  |  January 4, 2015 at 12:47 pm

    I am glad you made it to 2015. (((Hugs)))

    Reply
    • 8. LooneyTunes  |  January 4, 2015 at 2:42 pm

      im amazed you have stuck around. glad, but amazed 🙂

      Reply
      • 9. Foster Mom in Training  |  January 19, 2015 at 12:25 am

        You inspire me, LT. It’s the truth. I wish I could do more than just offering my advice. (((Hugs)))

        Reply
  • 10. Tara  |  January 4, 2015 at 1:03 pm

    A year seems like a long time, but it seems to go by so quickly, or at least I think so. I need to be more mindful of the days. LT, if you aren’t being paid to blog, you don’t owe anyone anything. Just write. I for one will keep reading.

    Reply
  • 11. Wondering  |  January 4, 2015 at 2:23 pm

    So I am curious, hope you don’t mind a question. You seem really angry/sad most of the time(not saying you shouldn’t be). Is this a place to vent? Are you able to put on a happy face and come to your blog to blow off steam? I guess I am asking…can you fake it when you are out and about or would the people you are close to on a daily basis know you are so sad?

    Reply
    • 12. LooneyTunes  |  January 4, 2015 at 2:38 pm

      actually i am pretty quiet and introverted. i am not mad, but more sad… depressed maybe.
      honestly i hate being alive.

      i dont fake anything, so the old “Fake it until you make it” doesnt work for me. i tend to be a person driven by emotion and passion than facts and statistics, so i cant fake how i feel.

      i use this blog to vent and to post things about foster care and to get advice at times. you may have missed many of my old blogs where i asked things…
      i have written years of tips from the child perspective on the whole foster care thing. it seems helpful to some people. and its an honest assessment of what i experienced and what needs to be fixed.
      i also use this blog to write about my life. i used to be more open about everything, but got tired of shit.

      i dont ask anyone to read it. i managed to pick up a big following, because there were no blogs from aged-out foster kids until i started this one. now there are lots… maybe i should let them take the reign now and give up this thing.
      you got me thinking…

      Reply
      • 13. Wondering  |  January 4, 2015 at 3:08 pm

        I am a very curious person and can’t fake it myself, so I get that for sure. I have a daughter, soon to be her legal guardian that seems ok, but them has a far away look in her eye and really doesn’t like to talk about “her feelings or problems” so was kinda asking to get some insight on that. I think you should keep on. I like reading your insights and think you do help a bunch…

        Reply
        • 14. LooneyTunes  |  January 4, 2015 at 3:57 pm

          i didnt talk about my feelings or problems when i was younger. i closed everything inside and took it out on myself.
          i still take a lot out on myself, but i have a good therapist now which helps… i think.
          she may not trust you yet… trust has to be earned…

          Reply
  • 15. Wondering  |  January 4, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    P.S. I am sorry you hate being alive…I can’t help but think there is some reason why are still here, Just hang on and maybe one day there will be some light in your life. ((hugs))

    Reply
  • 16. sageplant  |  January 4, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    hey, good to hear “your voice”…my most recent motto is”a half a day at a time”…and then I laugh at myself..

    hang in there…

    Reply
    • 17. LooneyTunes  |  January 4, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      i think a half day resolution is better! like “this morning i will get up” then “this afternoon i will not kill myself…’
      maybe we need to have morning, noon, and night resolutions. i may think about that.
      peace. you hang in there too.

      Reply
  • 18. johnjstanton  |  January 4, 2015 at 3:33 pm

    Suffering is the absence of dear ones and being in the presence of those who are not dear.

    Reply
    • 19. LooneyTunes  |  January 4, 2015 at 3:53 pm

      Is it “suffering is the absence of dear ones OR being in the presence of those who are not dear?”
      or AND?
      I think it matters.

      Is being alone suffering? or safety?

      Reply
      • 20. johnjstanton  |  January 6, 2015 at 4:01 pm

        It is ‘and’. It causes suffering to be away from those who are dear. It also causes suffering to be around those who are also not dear.

        Being by yourself… Depends on whether you are a dear one to yourself or not a dear one to yourself.

        But either way, being alone sucks. At least it does for me.

        In my case being alone gives the illusion of being safe.

        There are a lot of jerks, there are people who will hurt you intentionally or unintentionally.

        Your blog is a way to not be alone.

        Reply
        • 21. LooneyTunes  |  January 6, 2015 at 7:40 pm

          hm. never thought of my blog that way, but you are right.
          im not sure being alone always sucks, sometimes it is life-saving.
          peace.

          Reply
      • 22. johnjstanton  |  January 6, 2015 at 4:24 pm

        I am having trouble wrapping my brain around the words ‘and’ and “or’. Maybe it is ‘or’? Maybe ‘and’?

        Suffering is caused by the absence of dear ones. Suffering is caused by being in the presence of those not dear.

        Both statements are true. Either condition leads to suffering. Is there a clearer way to phrase it?

        On the concept of ‘those who are not dear’… That can include yourself. Also, those who are not dear can become dear ones.

        Reply
        • 23. LooneyTunes  |  January 6, 2015 at 7:41 pm

          i dont think there is a way to rephrase it. i was stuck on the “And” vs. “Or”.
          to me, “And” means both have to be true, while “Or” only means one has to be true.
          Not sure… was just asking.

          Reply
          • 24. johnjstanton  |  January 13, 2015 at 5:37 pm

            I wanted to tell you this. Various things you have said in your blog have made me think about what is most important for the safety and happiness of children in bad situations. That has helped me make some important and difficult decisions in my own family over the past couple years. Thanks,

          • 25. LooneyTunes  |  January 14, 2015 at 11:01 am

            well, thanks for you comments too, john.
            you always provide some insightful comments which makes me think..like you last one “and” versus “or” and being alone for safety.
            i know you have been around for awhile and i appreciate you reading.
            i hope some of the things i have said have been helpful. i know not everyone has/had the same situations as mine and i worry that i may do more harm than good, but i just hope everyone realizes this is all just based on my experiences (and i am no therapist!! – LOL)
            peace.

  • 26. bradaddisonBrad  |  January 4, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    Hi LT… as someone working with carers and foster kids, I seem to get new insights every time you post. I know you had a shitty experience in foster care, but what you write inspires me to make the experience as positive as possible for the kids in our agency. I hope 2015 is the year you keep seeing Doctor Val, that you don’t kill kill yourself and that you get back on your bike. If you happen to start ‘dating’ this year that would be great too, but it will happen when it happens. Thanks for your honesty and being prepared to share with us. Brad.

    Reply
    • 27. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:03 pm

      thanks for your note… but you are the one that should be thanked for working with foster kids and foster parents.
      we need more people involved to make it work right, but very few want to do anything…
      peace

      Reply
  • 28. MontanaMum  |  January 4, 2015 at 5:26 pm

    Think of you so often. Was glad to see your blog post.

    Reply
    • 29. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:03 pm

      glad to see you are still here 🙂
      hope things are well… peace.

      Reply
      • 30. MontanaMum  |  January 7, 2015 at 7:38 pm

        Peace to you also. Things are….but I am so much wiser because of you.

        Reply
  • 31. onemorewithus  |  January 4, 2015 at 5:33 pm

    Yes!! So good hearing from you again!!
    You know LT, I enjoy your blog so much. Though there are others who are also aged out kids types of blogs, as you put it, I still like yours because that’s the one I found when I so truly needed it. We have never met, but I feel as though I do know you because of how much you share. I don’t even know where you live or how old you are or how you look like, but you have become part of my life through this blog. I miss you when you aren’t here and worry for you when you are struggling big time. I feel happy when you reply to our comments and giggle when you are just funny.
    I know that we don’t hang out or chat anywhere else, but you are a blog friend to me, and I hope that somehow, in some way, I can pass friendship to you as well 😉
    Never give up on us here on your blog!!
    Hugs and hope to you from me!
    Gloria

    Reply
    • 32. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:07 pm

      thanks for your note. i always appreciate your comments.
      in my older blogs, i used to write alot more about “me”…. like my messy hair or being a 20-something…
      but i got tired of people, so then i just started writing about foster care tips. i have 100s of blogs that are hiding that were in existence from 2009…
      will see what happens this year..
      take care, peace.

      Reply
  • 33. Stephanie  |  January 4, 2015 at 5:44 pm

    I’m always love reading your posts but I know it just be hard for you.

    I have a question, maybe you or someone here can help… I really want to help aged-out foster kids. I haven’t been able to find organizations that do this kind of work and in taking to social worker friends- it’s a very sticky with confidentiality. Our family can be a foster family (and might) but my heart is really for older children and young adults, but really anyone who is hurting no matter the age. I just don’t know how to help or offer help without sounding like a creeper. So, I pray. I just pray that God will open my eyes to who’s hurting and needig help. But if you know of an organization in the Kansas City/Independence, Mo area or someone that needs a family to connect with, please let me know.

    Reply
    • 34. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:13 pm

      i dont know an organization in Kansas City MO, but are there any group homes in the area? or a children’s home they are sometimes called?
      many of these need volunteers and then you pass the background check, etc and you can work with kids and kids aging out.
      how about a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen? kids will show up for food and/or a place to live.

      are you near st louis? because there is a covenant house in st louis. here is a link. they need volunteers alot.
      http://www.covenanthouse.org/homeless-charity
      aged-out foster kids and other homeless kids go for a variety of services.

      you could become a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) and ask to be assigned to older kids. so if/when they age out, you could be in contact with them.

      hope this helps,
      peace.

      Reply
  • 35. Djak  |  January 4, 2015 at 6:33 pm

    I’ve been reading your blog for some insights because I am a new foster parent who started taking care of two little boys just before Thanksgiving. Some of what you say is pure gold, and some of it just makes me sad.

    This year, try making a resolution to start loving yourself. Start with learning to like yourself and see if that grows into love. Everyone is worth loving (except maybe unless they do evil shit). The only thing you’re guilty of is being born to idiot parents who didn’t know how to love. That’s not your fault.

    Reply
    • 36. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:15 pm

      thanks for being a foster parent.
      you sounded a little like Dr. Val with the liking myself. gotta work on that.
      keep up the good work, even when it gets tough. the kids need good foster parents.
      peace.

      Reply
  • 37. s00147954  |  January 4, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    So glad you’re still here with us in 2015 LT. I really like the idea of daily resolutions too. I think if you set goals too long in the future or too big, it kind of gets overwhelming.

    One thing I’ve learned though is that the only certainty in life is change – like you said a year is such a long time, who knows what awaits you. Tomorrow is a mystery.

    Reply
    • 38. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:17 pm

      today is a mystery for me! change is certain — sounds like a zen lesson.
      peace.

      Reply
  • 39. YoYoYoli  |  January 4, 2015 at 7:49 pm

    Can I say Happy new year? I hope so that is what I want to say and I am glad you are here. I think it is also great that you put: “Today I will try and make a friend and “Today I will get back on my back on
    bike” as your New Year resolutions list.. Even if you don’t succeed right away it is great those things are on your mind. Hoping you focus on those positive things and look how many amazing followers you have on your blog! (;-) Hey that is pretty awesome too! The only person that follows me is me is my dog! LOL
    take care, please keep blogging. Have you thought of becoming a pro-blogger?? Or have adds on your blog that pay you?
    I hope you have a great year, maybe this will be your best year ever!! Stay cool

    Reply
    • 40. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:18 pm

      happy new year to you.
      people have asked me about writing a book or blogging for $$… i think it would ruin my purpose.
      maybe if i were writing a cooking blog or something like that, but i dont want money for my life… does that make sense?

      you are lucky your dog follows your blog… my dogs could care less 😉
      peace.

      Reply
  • 41. YoYoYoli  |  January 4, 2015 at 7:50 pm

    I meant back on my bike.. sorry for that

    Reply
  • 42. ritalee8383  |  January 4, 2015 at 9:44 pm

    I’m always happy when I see that you made a post LT!

    It’s true that no one has lived your life. I have experienced emotional pain and trauma as a child so on that level I connect with you. My story isn’t the same as yours. The longing for a mother part is though. I know how a traumatic childhood can change the course of your life, how you process things, react & conduct yourself etc. etc. I’m a lot older than you and I’m still digging out. It’s terribly amazing how past hurts affect us so much. Wires things differently.

    When I read your life story I am truly in awe of you. You are a fighter and a survivor. I don’t think you give yourself enough credit for that. I hOpE that some of the positive things that you listed that “you may do” happen for you this year. I especially hope that you continuing to see Dr. Val. I think that is essential to your healing. She sounds like an amazing therapist and that is unique in my experience. So please hang on to her. I’ve seen much growth in you the last couple of years! You might not be where you want to be but you are no longer where you were. You’re making progress.

    Reply
    • 43. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:22 pm

      i hope you didnt think the post was directed at you. it wasnt.
      i was getting some comments that were really not helpful about what i should do (including dumping my therapist) and they seemed a little harsh to me, without a person really knowing me.
      you’ve followed my blog for awhile, so you saw some of the more personal posts. others have not and so they don’t understand my history, per se.

      anyway, that was a LONG winded response.

      i hope you can find a Dr. Val. it takes alot of time to find a good one…there are a few out there!
      peace.

      Reply
      • 44. ritalee8383  |  January 8, 2015 at 4:19 pm

        I didn’t think you were directing it at me LT. 😉

        Thanks for caring.

        Reply
  • 45. LettyTamez  |  January 4, 2015 at 9:54 pm

    I really like the idea of a daily resolution, that way when you fail you can try again tomorrow instead of waiting a whole year. LoL I enjoy reading your blog 🙂

    Reply
    • 46. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:23 pm

      thanks. i am not thinking of hourly resolutions. that would almost guarentee a win! LOL
      peace.

      Reply
  • 47. mommyof6  |  January 4, 2015 at 10:00 pm

    Hi LT. I have been reading your blog but haven’t left many comments. I am glad you continue to write and enlighten us every time. I have been so busy. I recently adopted my 3 girls (I also have 3 boys). It has been a long road and after two years we are slowly seen progress in bonding. Don’t forget how AMAZING you are.
    xoxo

    Reply
    • 48. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:25 pm

      wow! congratulations on adding to your family! wow!
      that is amazing. thanks for doing it… the world needs more people like you, who step up to help out.
      hope things continue to progress with the bonding. its hard, but hang in there. it will improve!
      peace.

      Reply
  • 49. Tara dSL  |  January 5, 2015 at 1:39 am

    I’m glad you’ve made it this far and I hope you keep writing. You really do seem like you are getting healthier and stronger day by day (judging this by the tone of your writing). I hope this will be the year that you find something or someone that really makes you happy.

    Reply
    • 50. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:26 pm

      thanks for your comment. its good to hear from other people that they have seen some growth — LOL
      i hope you have a good year too.
      peace.

      Reply
  • 51. manyofus1980  |  January 5, 2015 at 2:08 am

    LT
    So good to see you blog again! So glad you weren’t run off your own blog!
    Daily resolutions are a great idea! I love that!
    Good luck with 2015 I hope its a great year for you xo.

    Reply
    • 52. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:27 pm

      still deciding what to do with the blog. will see what happens i guess.
      i hope you have a good new year and good healing.
      peace.

      Reply
      • 53. manyofus1980  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:30 pm

        I hope you keep the blogding what you have to say xx i love rea

        Reply
  • 54. blueghost  |  January 5, 2015 at 4:14 am

    Hey there, I was wondering if its okay for me to ask you a question about dissociating? (I remember you posting a blog about it before)
    So I dissociate, and I have started therapy, I havent dissociated in front of her yet and its causing me lots of anxiety as i worry about what she might do.
    So my question is.. What does your therapist do when you dissociate?

    Reply
    • 55. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:30 pm

      hi.
      it depends. if i dissociate and dont switch, dr. val talks to me and grounds me. like telling me where i am, who i am, etc. very gentle and easy.
      if i dissociate so bad that i switch to another part, i have no idea what dr. val does… because i am not there.
      the worst thing a therapist can do is yell at you or scream, or even touch you.
      if your therapist is not comfortable with it, find a new one, but i think alot of them are familiar with it.

      does that help?

      Reply
      • 56. blueghost  |  January 5, 2015 at 4:20 pm

        Thank you so much for replying to me.
        When I met her, I did say “so urm, i sometimes dissociate, is that okay?” and she said “Yes I can handle that”
        I am worried she will touch me or try to get closer or something.
        Im seeing her tomorrow and because weve planned to talk about things i’m scared about what will happen, I can barely even make eye contact! :/

        Reply
        • 57. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 5:25 pm

          no worries. tell her not to touch you or move closer, etc! easier said than done.
          also, i have been in therapy for years and i still dont make any eye contact.
          ok, maybe i take a quick glance when she is not looking, but not directly at her.
          good luck.

          Reply
  • 58. Emma Demirgil  |  January 5, 2015 at 6:52 am

    You see things from a v diff angle to most, but i spose that goes with the way youve had to try and work things out to try and understand why what how and when, its easier to blame yourself,you know yourself better it gets exausting trying to figure the world out! Bless you,your wiser than you realize, id rather listen to your opinion than all the other proffessional would be’s.

    Reply
    • 59. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:31 pm

      hm. i think i see things the way i was taught. you know?
      if i was constantly taught i was bad, then that is how i see myself. if you were taught that a tree is orange, you would feel that way until something or someone helped you understand differently.
      peace.

      Reply
  • 60. angelamarshall2013  |  January 5, 2015 at 9:05 am

    One day at at a time – so hapy Monday.

    Reply
    • 61. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:32 pm

      thanks angela. happy monday to you too.
      i hope you keep helping alot of kids!
      peace.

      Reply
  • 62. nighsparrow  |  January 5, 2015 at 9:21 am

    I think your daily resolutions are great. I myself have taken resolutions like “Today I will try and make a friend” and “Today I will not fuck up at work.” Even though all of us have different experiences, these are battles that many of us have. I wish you lots of strength, and hopefully 2015 will be better for all of us.

    Reply
    • 63. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:34 pm

      i hope 2015 is good for you.
      i am now thinking about making hourly resolutions. “This hour I will not screw up at work” or “This hour I will not swear” — this way I have alot more chance to actaully achieve some of them… LOL
      peace.

      Reply
  • 64. CJ  |  January 5, 2015 at 10:02 am

    I just wanted to tell you LT, my husband and I are signing up for foster parenting classes in March. A big part of me wanting to do this is from reading your blog.
    Thanks for all your writing.

    Reply
    • 65. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:35 pm

      thanks. i hope you hang in there when it gets hard.
      the kids need you. remember to laugh and take deep breaths.
      you could be changing lives.
      peace.

      Reply
      • 66. CJ  |  January 7, 2015 at 8:58 am

        Oh you may be happy to hear that the state I’m in foster care goes up to 21. They also have programs in place to help adults transition to living on their own. And there are some national programs that help adult former foster kids save up money for big items like a car or computer. I’ll have to see if I book marked the page.
        It seems like the government and the world is catching up to the fact that 18 doesn’t make you an adult. It’s just a number.
        My state also makes you prove you are spending the money on the foster child in some categories. Like providing receipts to show you’ve used the clothing budget to buy clothes 🙂 And while I’m sure some parents don’t follow the regulations ‘no less then an amount of a dollar a day is to be given to the child as allowance’
        Not that it in any way lessens or helps what you went through. But I thought you might like to know that things can change and sometimes it’s for the better.

        Reply
        • 67. LooneyTunes  |  January 7, 2015 at 10:41 am

          thanks for writing.
          i know there are states that actually do a good job. i hear from foster parents that tell me what happens in their state… like your state.
          its too bad that there is not a federal foster care system with checks and balances. not that the federal system would necessaryily be the asnwer, but it would make things standardized across the states.
          peace.

          Reply
  • 68. dinah1007  |  January 5, 2015 at 10:30 am

    Shit, you are thinking of giving up peanut butter cups? Don’t do it, LT. You will regret it for the rest of your life. I personally make no resolutions but I do have a list of things to do that never gets done. So today my goal is to get dressed by noon, get the Christmas stuff put away and grocery shop. Will be happy to accomplish 2 but I guess if I don’t get dressed I don’t have to leave the house. Too cold to take lights down, baby has a cold so probably spend the day holding him. Just hope he takes a good nap so I can work on the decorations, but the attic is really cold, too

    Reply
    • 69. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:37 pm

      of course i am not giving up candy. that would be suicide in itself.
      i hope you get dressed…. according to the doctors, not getting dressed is a sign of depression.
      but in your case, it could be avoidance.

      miss your wit.. 🙂

      Reply
      • 70. dinah1007  |  January 6, 2015 at 8:39 am

        I did not get dressed! It isn’t depression, or avoidance, just laziness. I did get the decorations up with little guy “helping” all the way. Is answering all comments a resolution?

        Reply
        • 71. LooneyTunes  |  January 6, 2015 at 1:44 pm

          i wish i could lay around in my PJs all day… oh wait, i do that alot too! 🙂
          no, about the comments. i have not been working too much so i had some free time.
          do you know how long it takes me to read all this and write back…
          im not as smart as you 🙂

          Reply
          • 72. dinah1007  |  January 6, 2015 at 6:19 pm

            No one is as smart as I am. Or maybe as big a smart ass as I am. You are very smart, so quit putting yourself down. If you weren’t a very bright girl you wouldn’t be able to have such a wonderful blog. I got dressed today! Still haven’t gone to the grocery store.

          • 73. LooneyTunes  |  January 6, 2015 at 7:44 pm

            i think both — smart and smart ass.
            you really should get dressed. you dont want people thinking you are losing it this soon, do you?
            my shrink says im depressed when i dont “care” for myself. somedays are PJ days i tell her…
            don’t forget those peas at the grocery store. someone might eat them…
            peace.

  • 74. KP  |  January 5, 2015 at 3:48 pm

    Don’t give up peanut butter cups! Oh man, I just ate one in your honor.

    I’m glad you’re still around and on the internet. 🙂

    Reply
    • 75. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 5:28 pm

      LOL. have another PB cup…
      i couldnt give them up, even if they were going to kill me.
      throw some vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup on a few and that is bliss. yum
      peace.

      Reply
  • 76. Homaira  |  January 5, 2015 at 5:51 pm

    LT, you have taught me so much – not just about foster care, but also about many of the challenges that our homeless friends and neighbors face every day.
    I’ve been reading your posts for more than 2 years. Now that I’m in medical school, I appreciate your knowledge more than ever. Please keep posting.
    Best wishes to you for a Happy 2015!
    -H

    Reply
    • 77. LooneyTunes  |  January 5, 2015 at 6:22 pm

      woa. your in medical school? congrats, thats tough.
      what kind of doctor are you going to be?
      i know you have been reading awhile. you probably remember it when i posted alot more.
      im not sure what i am going to do. i turned on the moderation of comments to see how that works…
      hey, shouldnt you be stuyding instead of reading my blog 🙂

      Reply
      • 78. Homaira  |  January 5, 2015 at 7:55 pm

        oops, sorry I commented twice! 🙂 silly computers…
        Actually, I find it hard to believe I’m starting my 7th month of medical school! I really like women’s health so far – OB/GYN as well as the women’s aspects of family medicine. (I worked in an underserved women’s clinic for a year before med school, so I’ve been partial to this field for a while.) I’ll be exposed to a lot more over the next couple of years, though, so we’ll see!
        And you are absolutely right, I should get back to studying! 🙂 I hope to hear from you soon!

        P.S. It was soooo exciting to get a personal response from the legendary LT.

        Reply
  • 79. Homaira  |  January 5, 2015 at 5:55 pm

    LT, you have taught me so much – not just about foster care, but also about the challenges that our homeless friends and neighbors face every day.
    I have been reading your blog for more than 2 years. Now that I’m in medical school, I appreciate your posts more than ever.
    Please consider continuing to share your with us this year.
    Peace and best wishes,
    -H

    Reply
    • 80. Homaira  |  January 5, 2015 at 5:56 pm

      *your wisdom

      Reply
  • 81. msgypsylee  |  January 6, 2015 at 5:15 am

    So happy to see you here LT. I just read an article by NPR about states helping aged out foster kids go to college via paid tuition and support programs. I wonder if your state has any such programs. Just a thought in case you decide to go back to school. (((Hugs))) from New Jersey.

    Reply
    • 82. LooneyTunes  |  January 6, 2015 at 1:47 pm

      i dont think they have any programs yet in the state i am from. kids still age out at 18.
      where i live now, i am too old for them anyway and wasnt in FC here.. i moved here.
      i took a class at a community college and had to pay for it.
      thanks for the news though.

      Reply
  • 83. manyofus1980  |  January 6, 2015 at 7:37 am

    Moderating comments should help, LT! Its a pain to have to do it, but worth it if it keeps the nastys away! Hope Tuesday is good for you! XX

    Reply
  • 84. jamz9999  |  January 6, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    Thank you for continuing your blog (for now anyway). It gives me more insight into some of the stuff my daughters may feel because of their time in foster care. I recommend your blog to all of the foster parents that I meet.

    Don’t underestimate the impact that you have made on people that work with foster children (and through them the children).

    Reply
    • 85. LooneyTunes  |  January 6, 2015 at 7:43 pm

      thanks for your note. it made me smile today. thats a good thing.
      i hope the blog helps some way…
      peace.

      Reply
  • 86. Anonymous  |  January 7, 2015 at 12:05 am

    Hey LT, I’ve never commented before but I’m a teenager and I’ve been reading your blog for months. I had no idea about the struggles of kids in foster care and you really opened my eyes. It’s not something suburban kids really hear about too much. I’ve been thinking a lot about one day adopting some kids from foster care (of course, who knows what will happen). I just wanted to let you know that you reach more people than you might realize.

    Reply
    • 87. LooneyTunes  |  January 7, 2015 at 10:38 am

      thanks for you note Anon. i think many kids (and adults) do not really know much about foster care, suburban or not.
      sort-of like, if it doesnt affect you, you probably dont know.
      the world needs more good foster parents, so keep learning and thinking about if it would be right for you.
      peace.

      Reply
  • 88. butterflysblog  |  January 12, 2015 at 10:43 pm

    Sweet LT – I love this post so much. I used to do this too, count the number of years I spent in abuse versus the number of years out. Every new year I was shocked that I was alive to see it. I am so fucking glad that you are alive to see it too. I think about you all the time. You are awesome. Love, Butterfly

    Reply
    • 89. LooneyTunes  |  January 14, 2015 at 10:39 am

      hi butterfly!
      i am glad you are alive to see the new year too. you are doing so much good…
      i hope this year is a really good one for you.
      peace.

      Reply

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE

This blog is copyrighted.
I know that means you can't take my writing without my permission. If you do, something can happen.
Plus, that is just a real shitty thing to do -- take someone's thoughts -- so don't do it!

I am happy if you want to use my writing to help those involved in the foster care system, but please, leave a comment asking if it is ok and letting me know.

Peace.

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