dear Dr. Val

January 25, 2015 at 7:44 pm 56 comments

alask

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Dear Dr. Val,

From the bottom of my soon-to-be empty heart, thank you.

Thank you for sitting with me for almost 3 hours, today, Sunday, when you did not have to…

The time kept ticking, but i never heard it…

Thank you for being there with both your brilliant mind and your kind heart…

Thank you for being there…

… as i cried thousands of tears and used the whole box of tissuesteardrop

… as i talked about Moonlight over and over again

… as i talked about her death and my death

… as i talked about trust

… as i talked about everything and nothing

… as i sat in silence, because there were no words

… as you spoke with careful words to not wound me any deeper

… as you listened to me with all your focus and concentration

… as we laughed over Moonlight’s attitude

… as you graciously did not get rid of me until i was ready

 

If you read this blog, i would want you to know from the bottom of my heart, how much it meant to me…Thank you more than any words could ever convey.

i think i trust you more than you think…

Peace,

LT

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

i want to go with her knockin on heaven’s door

56 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Beth L.  |  January 25, 2015 at 7:54 pm

    She sounds like a keeper. Thinking of you LT.

    Reply
  • 2. MontanaMum  |  January 25, 2015 at 8:13 pm

    Thinking of you, always.

    Reply
  • 3. laurazeejewelry  |  January 25, 2015 at 8:13 pm

    I’m so sorry you have to go through this sadness. I’m so glad you have Dr. Val. She’s awesome. So are you! I’ll be thinking of you every day. Wishing you relief. Hoping you take care of yourself. I’m always here… Caring.

    Reply
  • 4. bairnangeloopz  |  January 25, 2015 at 8:32 pm

    You reached out and got what you needed from someone who cares. My thoughts are with you and Moonlight.

    Reply
  • 5. Regan  |  January 25, 2015 at 8:40 pm

    I am glad to hear Dr. Val was able to be there for you during this time. You might want to show her this sometime. ((hugs))

    Reply
  • 6. mesomama  |  January 25, 2015 at 8:42 pm

    Oh, LT. I’m soooo sorry.

    Reply
  • 7. biojen  |  January 25, 2015 at 8:50 pm

    Please stay. Your words have touched so many. You have made a difference and you would be missed. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I wish there was something I could do to ease the pain.

    Reply
  • 8. Whitney  |  January 25, 2015 at 9:03 pm

    I’m thinking of you and Moonlight. It is never easy losing a pet, but time helps. I am glad your therapist could help you.

    Reply
  • 9. sageplants  |  January 25, 2015 at 9:04 pm

    sorry LT, truly sorry.

    Reply
  • 10. raisingagodlyboy  |  January 25, 2015 at 9:21 pm

    LT you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Reply
  • 11. momma2abby  |  January 25, 2015 at 9:22 pm

    listening and sending you warm wishes

    Reply
  • 12. onemorewithus  |  January 25, 2015 at 9:23 pm

    Oh, babe… Oh what a beautiful post… Thank you Dr. Val!
    Many hugs to you during this very, truly tough time.

    Reply
  • 13. jnkmailacc  |  January 25, 2015 at 10:02 pm

    I’m glad she’s there for you. I’m so sorry you are living this. I can only imagine the pain. Something you’ve seen way too much of. I pray God gives you peace.

    Reply
    • 14. jnkmailacc  |  January 25, 2015 at 10:07 pm

      Also when I lost my horse of 18 yrs I felt like my child died. I remember stoking his fur trying to capture his shape, his feel, in my mind forever. When he was alive his death was my greatest fear. The pain was white hot for years! It did not go away but I’ve never felt more like there was someone standing with me since.

      Reply
  • 15. ritalee8383  |  January 25, 2015 at 10:03 pm

    I’ve been thinking about you all weekend LT and have been so worried about you. That was such a caring and beautiful thing for Dr. Val to do. Please know that there are a lot of people who truly care about you. I’m so sorry that you are hurting.

    Reply
  • 16. cair75  |  January 25, 2015 at 10:05 pm

    Thinking of you and hoping the love I’m sending into the universe for you is reaching you in some way. xoxo

    Reply
  • 17. beth o'malley  |  January 25, 2015 at 10:13 pm

    hugs to you. such sadness. may moonlight watch over you and protect you. beth

    Reply
  • 18. Tara dSL  |  January 25, 2015 at 10:40 pm

    So sorry, so very sorry for your pain. You don’t deserve this. My heart goes out to you, LT. I have thought of you many times today. Glad you have Dr. Val. I hope she will be available to you tomorrow or the next day. Take care of yourself.

    Reply
  • 19. cojlisa16  |  January 25, 2015 at 11:38 pm

    So sad. Our kitten died unexpectedly yesterday. We only had her for nine months or so, but we loved her. I can only imagine your pain.

    Reply
  • 20. Foster Mom in Training  |  January 26, 2015 at 12:03 am

    (((Hugs)))

    Reply
  • 21. dinah1007  |  January 26, 2015 at 4:07 am

    Oh, Baby, so very sorry you are going through this heartache. Glad that Dr Val is there for you, as we all would like to be.

    Reply
  • 22. lee1978  |  January 26, 2015 at 6:34 am

    Thinking of you LT. I know there are no good words when there is this kind of pain. I am glad you have Dr Val. I am also glad that despite the loss of Moonlight that you had such a loving and trusted companion in your life. Please remember how much Moonlight loved you when you are feeling scared and alone.

    Reply
  • 23. cinara13  |  January 26, 2015 at 8:10 am

    So so sorry to hear about Moonlight. You deserve Dr Val’s kindness. You deserve only kindness. You gave kindness to Moonlight every day she was with you.

    Reply
  • 24. cinara13  |  January 26, 2015 at 8:13 am

    Also I was just thinking that I’m very impressed with you. You love, you trust, you cry. These are all brave, healthy things.

    Reply
  • 25. Linka  |  January 26, 2015 at 8:25 am

    (((HUGS))) and prayers, and kudos to you for seeking out Dr. Val. She MUST care deeply about you LT to come out and give you so much of her time on a weekend. Blessings!

    Reply
  • 26. manyofus1980  |  January 26, 2015 at 8:28 am

    Dr Val is a keeper! Your in our thoughts LT. I know this isn’t easy. Sending you hugs xoxo

    Reply
  • 27. sheila  |  January 26, 2015 at 8:55 am

    thinking about you and praying for you this cruddy monday morning.

    Reply
  • 28. mv49496  |  January 26, 2015 at 9:02 am

    Thank God for Dr Val! So glad you have her. Hugs and prayers for you.
    MV

    Date: Mon, 26 Jan 2015 00:44:35 +0000
    To: mv_49496@hotmail.com

    Reply
  • 29. sarahbethsmommy  |  January 26, 2015 at 9:52 am

    Love and peace to you, LT. I just had to say goodbye to my sweet dog recently. My heart still aches at missing her, but the love she gave me is definitely still there.

    Reply
  • 30. Stephanie  |  January 26, 2015 at 9:53 am

    I’m truly sorry, LT. And very glad Dr Val was there for you. ((Hugs))

    Reply
  • 31. Elise  |  January 26, 2015 at 10:10 am

    Your post is so powerful. I am very sad for you for the loss of Moonlight. Pets do not live nearly long enough, and she has been so much more than a pet to you. It was so good of Dr. Val to sit with you yesterday. That kind of care shows that she cares about you more than you sometimes think, and I am glad that you were able to trust her to let her.

    Reply
  • 32. roversat  |  January 26, 2015 at 11:35 am

    I hope you feel the support of your blog community as deeply as you felt it from Dr. Val. We are all her for you in spirit and are sending you our deepest condolences and most healing, heartfelt thoughts. Cry as much as you need and know we are crying with you.

    Reply
  • 33. mommyof6  |  January 26, 2015 at 1:53 pm

    I am so glad she was there for you. I am also glad that you realize how much you trust her. Maybe you can let her know how you felt by giving her a thank you card with all those words you wrote on your blog on it. Keep being strong and don’t forget you are Amazing.
    xoxo

    Reply
  • 34. Kathryn  |  January 26, 2015 at 2:11 pm

    As I read this story, I discovered tears rolling down my cheeks.
    I am so sorry that more loss and more pain have been added to your life. Life is so fragile. You have loved deeply, and been loved in return. Grief is most overwhelming in the beginning, the memories will always be there, of the love and the loss, but the sadness won’t always be so consuming and devastating. It is hard to accept that even great love cannot protect our loved one from suffering and death, nor ourselves from their dreaded loss. I am praying for you. No one could have understood or loved Moonlight as much as you. What a blessing you continue to be.

    Reply
  • 35. lscovill70  |  January 26, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    LT, I am so glad that Dr. Val was there for you to listen and also sit with you yesterday. Know that you are surrounded by people who care about you.

    Reply
  • 36. KP  |  January 26, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    LT, I am so sorry to hear about Moonlight. Hope you feel supported and loved by Dr. Val as you grieve. =(

    Reply
  • 37. Stephanie  |  January 26, 2015 at 6:17 pm

    Hi LT, just thinking of you today. Sending love your way…

    Reply
  • 38. onemorewithus  |  January 26, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    Hey love, just checking in on you. You are not alone. We are right here.
    Cry as much as you need. That is very okay.
    Hugs
    Gloria

    Reply
  • 39. butterflysblog  |  January 26, 2015 at 10:25 pm

    Sweet LT – I’m so very sorry about sweet Moonlight. I’m so glad that Dr. Val was there for you when you needed her, the way you were there for Moonlight when Moonlight needed you. You are a sweetheart, and I’m so grateful you are alive and talking to us through your blog. Love, Butterfly

    Reply
  • 40. Lori  |  January 26, 2015 at 10:39 pm

    Thinking of you LT.

    Reply
  • 41. ritalee8383  |  January 26, 2015 at 11:42 pm

    I’m thinking of you too LT.

    Reply
  • 42. coccomuffin  |  January 27, 2015 at 7:24 am

    LT (((♡))) I wish I had good words to say, good enough to be of support for you in this moment. LT don’t feel alone, you’re always in somebody’s heart!

    Reply
  • 43. angelamarshall2013  |  January 27, 2015 at 8:03 am

    Thank you LT for sharing and trusting.
    Thank you Dr. Val for listening and caring.
    Thinking of you both today.

    Reply
  • 44. s00147954  |  January 27, 2015 at 8:10 am

    LT I saw your last post, before you removed it – it was such a beautiful tribute to moonlight and everything you bought to each others lives. You have another angel watching over you now.

    Reply
  • 45. sunshine  |  January 27, 2015 at 10:14 am

    LT, I am so sorry. I have had to make this hard decision for 2 dogs in my life. The most recent was in 2008, and still as I think of that day, and the one a few years before, I cry. No one will ever replace Moonlight, but there are other animals who need you. In time, maybe you can let them know the unconditional love you can give them. While I am not with you to give you a hug and cry with you, please know that I, and many others who have come to care for you through your words written on your blog, are sending our love your way. Rely on Dr. Val. I wish you peace, my friend.

    Reply
  • 46. sageplant  |  January 27, 2015 at 10:51 am

    No comments open on the poem, but love to you as this time will be so difficult. Thanks for sharing the poem. It’s a good one.
    Again, so sorry…

    Reply
  • 47. J  |  January 27, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    You don’t know me but I think about you most days and I wanted you to hear this.

    See yourself as God sees you, not the way the world sees you or even the way you see yourself. Study God’s Word and you will find out that you are precious, created by God’s own hand. You are not an accident. Even if your parents told you they never really wanted you, I can assure you that God wants you; otherwise you would not be here on earth. You are valuable, you have worth, you are gifted, you are talented, and you have a purpose on this earth. God says that He has called you by your name and you are His.

    Reply
  • 48. becca395  |  January 27, 2015 at 8:02 pm

    Thinking of you LT.

    Reply
  • 49. onemorewithus  |  January 27, 2015 at 8:35 pm

    Hi LT.
    I noticed you wrote a post on a beautiful poem, but you took it down. Form the time since I have known you, I recognize that as one of the signs that things are pretty tough on your end 😦 And for good reason. You are probably struggling right now.
    So, I want to say that it is okay for you to cry and feel sad. It is okay to grieve. We ar here if you need us. Love,
    Gloria

    Reply
  • 50. justagerl  |  January 27, 2015 at 9:07 pm

    Glad you had Dr Val with you through this. Really glad you let her be there with you through this.

    Reply
  • 51. Foster Mom in Training  |  January 27, 2015 at 9:13 pm

    The poem was beautiful. Moonlight was lucky to have you. I hope you were able to feel the positive energy that flowed around you as she passed on. (((Hugs)))

    Reply
  • 52. Gisela  |  January 27, 2015 at 9:18 pm

    I am sorry LT.

    Reply
  • 53. ritalee8383  |  January 27, 2015 at 11:36 pm

    Just checking in hoping that you posted.

    Reply
  • 54. Tara dSL  |  January 28, 2015 at 12:05 am

    I’m holding you in my heart, LT.

    Reply
  • 55. Jen  |  January 28, 2015 at 3:07 am

    Really beautifully written. I’m so, so sorry. Hugs.

    On another note, I started my volunteer training for the facility in my county where kids go after being removed from their homes. So many of the things you’ve written about foster kids came to mind, and I’m going to be able to use some really great tips from what you’ve shared. So thank you for being an awesome, and resourceful heart.

    Reply
  • 56. Tammy S  |  February 4, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    So so sorry to hear about the loss of Moonlight. 4-legged creatures so easily become “children” to us and become a part of the family. The comfort and companionship a pet brings to you over the years is immeasurable. And losing a pet is NEVER easy. My heart goes out to you. I’m happy to hear that you did not have to endure Moonlight’s goodbye alone and had Dr. Val’s support during that time.

    Reply

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