i miss my dog so much

February 5, 2015 at 11:03 pm 130 comments







i am so depressed i want to die.  i miss my dog so much.

i saw the vet again to try and understand better what happened because everything seemed so strange to me.  seeing her only made it worse.  she gave me some good ideas, like write about Moonlight, but i have no energy to do so.

i tried to join in this online pet loss support chat room thing for a couple nights…..and i didnt fit in there.  it just made things worse.

i see dr. val like every day… and im sure she’s getting tired of hearing it.

i am so depressed i want to die.

i miss my dog so much.




Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

knockin on heaven’s door fake orange cheese and random thoughts

130 Comments Add your own

  • 1. lorette  |  February 5, 2015 at 11:05 pm

    Big (((((hug))))).
    Thinking of you in this sad time.

  • 2. ritalee8383  |  February 5, 2015 at 11:22 pm

    Sometimes a loss can be so great that no one else can understand it LT.

    I know how that feels.

    No one can take our pain away. I wish I could take away your pain. I really do. I’ve known so much pain in my life.

    I’m sorry you are hurting.

  • 3. onemorewithus  |  February 5, 2015 at 11:53 pm

    I know… I know, babe, this hurts a lot! Sending you a tight hug!

  • 4. Tami  |  February 6, 2015 at 12:30 am

    Thinking of you LT.

  • 5. sageplant  |  February 6, 2015 at 12:42 am

    Thinking of you also, it’s OK too miss your dog and feel it deeply. Be thankful for the time that doc Val has, she’s one of your friends, maybe one of the best actually. It’s a transition time..we love you too..

  • 6. Jacqui  |  February 6, 2015 at 12:56 am

    awww, big hugs to you. She was family. You gave her a great gift with all your love. I’m so sorry you lost her!

  • 7. Ms. E Speaks  |  February 6, 2015 at 1:07 am

    Hi LT,
    I’ve not connected in some time, but seeing the subject of your blog I just had to stop by to give you a cyber (((hug))).

    Losing my dog has been one of the most difficult losses of my adulthood. As my cats turn 17 this year, each day the thought of losing them crosses my mind.

    I know how much you loved your Moonlight. I believe you will experience a sense of his companionship beyond the physical presence, and eventually fond memories will bring smiles. (l)

  • 8. yoyoyoli  |  February 6, 2015 at 4:27 am

    Thinking of you and searching for words but cannot find any… I so do know how much this hurts my heart aches LT. Hang in there are you working this week? I know in my experiences the distraction of work helped me deal with it.. being at home was always hard or coming home and not seeing the dogs at the door… such an empty feeling.. all I can tell you is that you will always think of Moonlight and it will hurt a little less as each day passes.. focus on the awesome memories hoping you have a few good pictures you can print or enlarge later when you are up for it.. sending hugs..

  • 9. Lora  |  February 6, 2015 at 6:19 am

    I am glad you can at least talk about it. When I hurt that deep I can’t even find words to express what I feel. Hugs to you, dear friend!

  • 10. nightaura  |  February 6, 2015 at 6:31 am

    😦 I can only imagine how you feel. We lost our dog in 2010 after having him for 10 years. But then there is the “we” factor for us. She was your “we”. Hugs.

  • 11. Emily B  |  February 6, 2015 at 6:38 am

    This poem helped me with my grief after losing my Libby. It makes you bawl the first several times.

    Lend me A Pup

    I will lend to you for awhile
    a puppy, God said,
    For you to love him while he lives
    and to mourn for him when he is gone.
    Maybe for twelve or fourteen years,
    or maybe for two or three
    But will you, till I call him back
    take care of him for me?

    He’ll bring his charms to gladden you
    and (should his stay be brief)
    you’ll always have his memories
    as solace for your grief.
    I cannot promise that he will stay,
    since all from earth return,
    But there are lessons taught below
    I want this pup to learn.

    I’ve looked the whole world over
    in search of teachers true
    And from the folk that crowd life’s land
    I have chosen you.
    Now will you give him all your love
    Nor think the labour vain
    Nor hate me when I come to take my pup back again.

    I fancied that I heard them say
    “Dear Lord Thy Will Be Done,”
    For all the joys this pup will bring,
    the risk of grief you’ll run.
    Will you shelter him with tenderness
    Will you love him while you may
    And for the happiness you’ll know forever grateful stay.

    But should I call him back
    much sooner than you’ve planned
    Please brave the bitter grief that comes
    and try to understand.
    If, by your love, you’ve managed
    my wishes to achieve,
    In memory of him that you’ve loved,
    cherish every moment with your faithful bundle,
    and know he loved you too.

    Author Unknown

    • 12. Liz  |  February 6, 2015 at 11:33 am

      This is an amazing poem. ((LT))

  • 13. beth o'malley  |  February 6, 2015 at 7:35 am

    nothing compares to the love of a pet. my deepest sympathy to you. love hurts, but better to have loved Moonlight. keep writing as you grieve. your community will hold you with cyber arms. beth

  • 14. raisingagodlyboy  |  February 6, 2015 at 7:36 am

    Big hug LT. You are in my prayers.

  • 15. meaghanj305  |  February 6, 2015 at 7:44 am

    I’m so sorry LT. I was inconsolable when I had to say goodbye to my fur baby. I can’t pretend to know how you feel but please be patient with yourself. You gave Moonlight a home and unconditional love, many others wouldn’t have ❤

  • 16. Connie Lettow  |  February 6, 2015 at 8:00 am

    I’ve been worried I wouldn’t be hearing from you anymore. Chin up, young lady. I’m glad you are still posting. I hope you feel better soon. I miss your raw, honest way of looking at life. The world needs people like you in it, honey.

  • 17. Stephanie  |  February 6, 2015 at 8:28 am

    I am so sorry LT. I wish I could take some of the hurt away. For what it’s worth, I promise it won’t always be this hard.

  • 18. Dot Sabba  |  February 6, 2015 at 9:23 am

    Losing a pet is one of the toughest experiences a person can go through. Write a letter to Moonlight, write a letter to yourself from Moonlight. Make a scrap book. This is not an easy situation to go through. It takes time. Your feelings are genuine. Know that you are surrounded by many virtual hugs out here. Take one day at a time.

  • 19. Linka  |  February 6, 2015 at 9:31 am

    Listening…crying with you…sending ((hugs))…and prayers…encouraged that you are acknowledging and processing your pain… Dr. Val is a dear who really cares for you, and is there for you, I am thankful for her presence in your life…and as well for your blog crew, we are walking with you through this terrible time.Blessings!…

  • 20. Sandy Blanchard  |  February 6, 2015 at 10:14 am

    I’m crying now as I think about my wonderful dogs who have crossed the rainbow bridge to the other side and hearing about how you feel your loss makes it all the more difficult for me to feel it all over again. One thing that makes me feel better is to know how much I loved them and to be so grateful for that love and the hurt because I know it was very deep for all of us. Can you imagine if you didn’t feel that hurt? It would mean that you didn’t care, that there hadn’t been love. But there was love between you and what could be more powerful in the world? Love is the greatest thing in the world and to be able to show your love to another is the richest feeling ever. Especially to take a stray, as most of mine are, and to continue to love them through all of their challenges and fears and to be there with them is the greatest of love and you and they are stronger and have a much deeper relationship because of the specialness of the caring. I’m grateful you have had that opportunity and my guess is that at sometime you will find another opportunity to share your love again, because as we share, our love multiplies, and we can all use more love.

  • 21. Beth  |  February 6, 2015 at 11:37 am

    Keep seeing your therapist and keep talking about it. Grieving takes time, she understands that. Try to take care of yourself during this time. It is important. I’m sorry for your loss.

  • 22. claudine  |  February 6, 2015 at 11:37 am

    LT, I’m so very sorry for your loss, and for your sorrow. It’s incredibly painful to lose such unconditional love and companionship. If it is any consolation, I do believe our soulmate pets come back around to us again and again. Perhaps Moonlight will come back to you in a new form when you least expect it.

  • 23. johnjstanton  |  February 6, 2015 at 2:17 pm

    The death of a close loved one hurts like hell — agony — like burning in a fire. And the pain is not going away anytime soon.

    But I bet Dr. Val is *not* getting sick of seeing you!


  • 24. Beth  |  February 6, 2015 at 6:21 pm


  • 25. Elise  |  February 6, 2015 at 10:45 pm

    Losing Moonlight is very painful. She was important to you and a wonderful pet and friend. Its ok to feel sad and grieve. You will always miss her, but over time it will become more tolerable. Moonlight’s spirit goes on and she is watching over you and loving you still. She wants you to know how much she cares about you still and how she is no longer sick. Dr. Val is not getting sick of you I am sure. She knows how important Moonlight was and that it has been a huge loss. She cares very much I am sure.

  • 26. Tara dSL  |  February 6, 2015 at 11:05 pm

    Thinking of you and hoping you find some comfort during this time of loss and grieving. Moonlight was a special dog and a dear friend.

  • 27. butterflysblog  |  February 6, 2015 at 11:13 pm

    Sweet LT – I’ve been thinking about you every day, worried about you. I’m so grateful you were able to write in your blog today. So grateful you are alive to write. You are grieving, my poor sweetheart, and I am so so sorry for this terrible loss. You are not alone, sweet one. All of us are sitting with you, crying with you. You mean so much to us, to me. I am so sorry you are hurting honey. Love, Butterfly

  • 28. Bronwyn  |  February 7, 2015 at 9:18 pm

    What came to me when i read these posts is that you are one hell of an amazing mom. You’ve lost a part of you and it’s a huge deal, no wonder you’re in the deepest anguish of grief. Hang on, LT – just hang onto the fact that you can really, REALLY take care of other living beings who rely on you and love you. You made Moonlight’s life amazing and full of joy.

  • 29. Tina  |  February 8, 2015 at 12:28 pm

    Hang in there LT. I have put down several dogs and cats in my life and the pain is terrible. It does get better. In time you will remember the good times you and Moonlight had together. Thinking of you.

  • 30. cair75  |  February 8, 2015 at 1:59 pm

    Hugs, LT.

  • 31. butterflysblog  |  February 8, 2015 at 11:20 pm

    Sweet LT – I keep checking back because I’m worried about you. Just want you to know that we are all sitting and crying with you, and we miss you. I miss you and I think you are awesome. Love, Butterfly.

  • 32. angelamarshall2013  |  February 9, 2015 at 8:10 am

    Loss is very painful. Please continue to talk to Dr. Val and I am glad that continue to check-in with all of us – your blog friends. We care about you.
    Hang in there LT.

  • 33. manyofus1980  |  February 9, 2015 at 10:00 am

    Love to you LT. I’m sorry you miss moonlight so much. Your bound to miss her as its really recent. Sending a hug xoxo

  • 34. mv49496  |  February 9, 2015 at 3:41 pm

    Hang in there. You are making the right choices. Dr Val won’t be getting sick of you. She is trained for this kind of help. The opposite side of the feel good side of love is the intense pain and loss. It is worth it from your great friendship with your dog. Pets are like family and soul mates. Let yourself grieve. Keep yourself safe. Keep going for help. Pray when you feel you can.

    Date: Fri, 6 Feb 2015 04:03:52 +0000
    To: mv_49496@hotmail.com

  • 35. Katie  |  February 9, 2015 at 9:52 pm

    I’m sorry for your loss! 😦

  • 36. Sara  |  February 10, 2015 at 1:00 pm

    Thinking of you today LT.

  • 37. butterflysblog  |  February 12, 2015 at 12:54 am

    Hi Sweet LT – just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking about you today. I miss you. I wish I could sit with you, offer you some Cheetos and chocolate, and cry with you. Love, Butterfly

  • 38. ritalee8383  |  February 12, 2015 at 1:37 am

    Thinking about you LT.

  • 39. imagenes whatsapp navidad  |  February 12, 2015 at 4:12 am

    Con esas oraciones simples, repelentes en el mejor de los casos, fue la que enamoró mi corazón.

  • 40. onemorewithus  |  February 12, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    LT, Gloria here. Checking in with you.
    I hope you are talking with Dr Val or with your friends, someone to help you through this. As always, you can email any of us who are sending you contact information. Here is mine again, gr@onemorewithus.com or onemorewithus@gmail.com

  • 41. Scoopy  |  February 12, 2015 at 7:12 pm

    LT, your love for Moonlight is so inspiring. I don’t think I ever told you that more than a year ago you helped me realize that my son who went through terrible trauma when he was a baby maybe needed a dog. We looked and looked for the right dog and found him one. And this dog TOTALLY gets my son, and helps him feel calm and safe. You, without knowing, showed me something that could help my sweet little man.

    Thank you, Moonlight and LT. And just knowing how much that relationship can help, I hope someday, when you’re ready, you can find another animal friend to love. (this link shows a picture of my boy and his dog, Blue)

    Hugs to you today.

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  • 44. Stephanie  |  February 13, 2015 at 11:52 pm

    Hi LT, was just thinking of you. I am praying that God would bring some wonderful people into your life to surround you with gentle kindness, encouragement and love while you heal. Be patient and kind to yourself. Much Love and many (online) hugs. Steph in KC.

  • 45. ritalee8383  |  February 14, 2015 at 8:02 pm

    Just checking in to see if you posted something new. Thinking about you and hoping you are hanging in there.

  • 46. coccomuffin  |  February 18, 2015 at 5:16 am

    Thinking of you LT (((♡)))

  • 47. Kathy Kendall  |  February 18, 2015 at 10:38 am

    I, too, hope you’re still with us, LT. I keep checking for blog updates, and am always disappointed when I don’t find one.

  • 48. ritalee8383  |  February 20, 2015 at 12:32 am

    I know you are hurting so much LT. I wish there was something I could do for you. I worry about you and wish the best for you.

  • 49. ritalee8383  |  February 21, 2015 at 11:27 pm

    I’m worried about you LT. I always wonder what if you never post again? Please say something.

  • 50. helen hewett  |  February 22, 2015 at 2:12 am

    LT I am so sorry to hear that you have suffered the loss of your dog Moonlight. I too have lost two beautiful dogs in the past few weeks. My husband and his mate for reasons I will never understand took two of our dogs and had them shot while I was at work he never asked me or even told me I found out from someone else. I have never been allowed to discuss it or question his decision. He seems incapable of understanding how hurt I feel,how sad I feel and how angry I feel. He asks me what is wrong and if I even hint that it is to do with the dogs he just said it is done are you still going on about the dogs. Sexual and physical abuse are terrible but I believe emotional abuse is the hidden cousin not equally regarded but you feel equally hurt without the injuries or bruises. How many children have come home from school to discover the dog or cat or pony gone without any explaination or involvement. Our children are so strong if an animal needs to be put down or given away most children can handle it if we discuss it with them. But to just come home to an empty house, backyd or paddock how awful that would make a child feel.And on the question of fostering how many children are taken away from their home, their room, their toys ,their pets, their neighbours, their extended families often with no explaination. They are not allowed to question or discuss decisions that well meaning grown ups have made on their behalf. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could move to a system where a nanny or carer could step in to the children’s world and in the midst of parental turmoil maintain a level of consistency by the children remaining in their own home while one or both of the parents are the ones to leave.I know this may seem fantasy and I know it wouldn’t apply to all situations but in our modern world where we can order exactly the burger we want from MacDonalds shouldn’t child care and child protection be able to cater to individual needs of the children involved. LIke being able to take pets with them, maintain contact with friends and grandparents etc and continue to pursue their hobbies and interests. Thanks for the listening ear LT for a short while I was able to do a slight shift from my pain which is what community and being human is all about using what we are going through to help us consider others. Thinking of you and foster children everywhere. helen hewett

  • 51. s00147954  |  February 22, 2015 at 9:37 pm

    Add me to the list of people who are worried about you LT. I miss your wisdom. Stay strong xx

  • 52. onemorewithus  |  February 23, 2015 at 11:18 pm

    LT, checking in to let you know we are here…

  • 53. Connie Lettow  |  February 27, 2015 at 2:00 am

    Hi, LT.

    I keep waiting for another post from you. I’m seriously starting to get worried.

  • 54. msgypsylee  |  February 27, 2015 at 1:15 pm

    I’m thinking of you honey. Sending you hugs from NJ.

  • 55. ritalee8383  |  February 27, 2015 at 2:11 pm

    Checking in. Thinking about you LT.

  • 56. Stephanie  |  February 27, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    Hi LT, just wanted to remind you that you are loved and missed by many. Hope to hear from you soon!


  • 57. poppona  |  February 28, 2015 at 8:39 am

    Thank you for all the help you are giving me. I am becoming a foster parent and have so many questions, but you are making my life easier. Sorry about your dog, she looks beautiful and I hope you find the peace you deserve in your difficult life. Hugs from afar and I will do my best to be a good Foster/adoptive parent!!!

  • 58. butterflysblog  |  March 2, 2015 at 10:27 pm

    Sweet LT – I miss you. I like to think that if we were real-life friends instead of internet ones, I would sit with you and we could cry together about your broken heart. Please know that even though you may feel alone, you are never far from my heart. Love, Butterfly

  • 59. sageplants  |  March 4, 2015 at 1:00 pm

    Hi LT, saying that I think of you, hoping you are finding some peace to keep you going and maybe even a few moments of feeling like there is something to keep you going. Are you working at all? what have you been doing? when you can, give a little update.

  • 60. roversat  |  March 4, 2015 at 2:39 pm

    LY, I hope you are working through your grief somehow, finding a release and support for yourself. Please know how many people care about you!

  • 61. gemini  |  March 4, 2015 at 3:05 pm

    Before humans die they write their Last Will and Testament,
    give their homes and all they have to those they leave behind.

    If with my paws I could do the same,
    this is what I’d ask…

    To a poor and lonely Stray I’d give my happy home.
    My bowl and cozy bed, soft pillows, and all my toys.
    The lap which I loved so much, the tender, loving, touch.
    The hand that stroked my fur and sweet voice which called my name.
    I’d Will to the sad scared Shelter Dog the place I had in my human’s heart,
    Of which there seemed no bounds.

    So when I die, please do not say,
    “I will never have a pet again.
    For the loss and pain is more than I can stand.”

    Instead go find an unloved dog,
    One whose life has held no joy or hope, and give My place to Him.

    This is the only thing that I can give…
    The Love I left behind.

    This is my inheritance!
    My Will and my Last Testament.

    – Susie Moncek –

    Hope you find some peace. CJ

    • 62. s00147954  |  March 10, 2015 at 7:06 pm

      Thats so beautiful 🙂 dogs are such special creatures.

  • 63. Erin Stillson  |  March 4, 2015 at 10:10 pm

    I can’t imagine your feelings of loss at this moment, and I’m so terribly sorry that you have to go through those feelings yet again. You are so beautiful and brave, and you have hundreds of people who love you, identify with you, care about you, and depend on you. I know that nothing can take away the pain that is there, the aching pain that throbs greater every time you are reminded of the source of the pain… but I hope that you hold onto the knowledge that if you keep trying and moving forward, posting your extremely important messages, and being the incredible person you truly are, you will find something that makes your life sweeter, puts a smile on your face, and gives you the love that you deserve. Please know that you have all of us here for you in any way, I will absolutely be here for you if you need anything. Please take care of yourself. and get some krispie creams ❤

  • 64. butterflysblog  |  March 5, 2015 at 10:19 pm

    Hi Sweet LT – thinking about you tonight. I hope you are doing okay. I miss you. Love, Butterfly

  • 65. ritalee8383  |  March 5, 2015 at 11:35 pm

    I’m thinking of you too LT.

  • 66. Claudine  |  March 6, 2015 at 3:51 pm

    Was thinking of you today, LT. I hope you’re doing alright.

  • 67. onemorewithus  |  March 9, 2015 at 11:36 pm

    LT… Where are you? Are you reading our comments?…Oh I am so concerned… Please, let us know you are okay, that you are here with us 😦

  • 68. ritalee8383  |  March 10, 2015 at 12:39 am

    We all miss you LT.

  • 69. Homaira  |  March 10, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    I’m here, too. Whenever you are ready, LT.

  • 70. manyofus1980  |  March 12, 2015 at 5:41 pm

    Miss you LT. Please check in and write if you can. So worried? Are you ok? Huggles, xoxo

  • 71. Waiting  |  March 13, 2015 at 1:06 am

    Hoping you’re ok

  • 72. ritalee8383  |  March 13, 2015 at 11:30 pm

    You have a lot of mother birds worried about you LT. I’m sure we all wish we had the right words to make you feel all right but we don’t. Grief sure is a hard thing to work through. I’m sorry for your heartache.

  • 73. s00147954  |  March 14, 2015 at 7:06 am

    Take all the time in the world LT, when (or if) you decide to write again we’ll be here for you 🙂

  • 74. Gisela  |  March 14, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    Thinking of you today.
    I check your blog regularly to see if you posted, to find out how you are doing. I hope you are ok.
    I keep you in my prayers.
    May God bless you and be with you in this difficult time.

  • 75. manyofus1980  |  March 15, 2015 at 2:24 pm

    Thinking of you LT. Hoping everything is ok and you are safe. Sending you hugs, supportive hugs and lots of love. XXX

  • 76. onemorewithus  |  March 15, 2015 at 7:57 pm

    Hello babe. Stopping by to check in on you again.

  • 77. coccomuffin  |  March 16, 2015 at 7:11 am

    Hey LT, wondering where you are and how you’re doing… you’re missed ((♡))

  • 78. Concerned Mom of 6  |  March 17, 2015 at 5:19 pm

    Since you have to approve the post I assume you are “ok”. I think about you often and hope that you are doing ok. I think about you riding your bike that you bought at the little store you passed by (my fantasy) I picture you in Rhode Island…I don’t know why. Hope that you are healing from your loss. Take care!

  • 79. themooglet  |  March 17, 2015 at 6:40 pm

    Thinking of you, and checking in for updates. You’ve helped me so much (I’m a foster mom) and I hate to think of you hurting. Sending you hugs from across the pond. X

  • 80. butterflysblog  |  March 18, 2015 at 11:00 pm

    Sweet LT – just checking in because I am thinking about you, worried about you. You miss your sweet doggie, and we all miss you honey. Know that you are loved and missed and treasured by us all. Love, Butterfly

  • 81. ritalee8383  |  March 19, 2015 at 11:27 pm

    You’re on my heart everyday LT.

  • 82. Tina Bean  |  March 20, 2015 at 12:05 am

    I, too, think of you every day, LT. ❤ I keep checking this post and feel much better knowing that you have to approve the comments, because that means you are still with us. I was so worried. We're all here when and if you are ready…take all the time you need.

  • 83. Jen Layton  |  March 22, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    LT, my prayers are with you.

  • 84. butterflysblog  |  March 22, 2015 at 10:58 pm

    Thinking about you tonight, sweet LT. Worried about you and hope you’re doing okay honey. I miss you. Love, Butterfly

  • 85. msgypsylee  |  March 23, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    Thinking of you LT. (((hugs)))

  • 86. onemorewithus  |  March 24, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    LT… Please, stop by to let us know you are okay. We miss you so.

  • 87. morris  |  March 26, 2015 at 3:12 pm

    LT i have read alot of your blog and i am so inspired by your story, you have been through so much and have remained so strong. My name is Morris Wentworth I am a former foster youth myself. im working for this company ( Doing Good Works) doing creative marketing. they hired me specifically because i was in foster care and wanted to do more with myself then be a statistic. i have since started a business under there guidance. i would love to get you involved some how please email me at Morris@gelshell.net

  • 88. ritalee8383  |  March 26, 2015 at 11:11 pm

    I’m always checking in on you LT. I hope you’re doing ok.

  • 89. coccomuffin  |  March 27, 2015 at 5:09 am

    LT how are you doing? Always thinking of you…

  • 90. Elise  |  March 29, 2015 at 2:53 pm

    Thinking about you, LT. When you are ready to write again we will read your next post.

  • 91. Katie K  |  March 29, 2015 at 5:06 pm

    Hope all is well.

  • 92. poptart eater  |  March 30, 2015 at 1:30 am

    Just wanted to say- stopped by to read your blog. Just became a foster mom and am so happy/terrified. Thank you for everything you write. Thank you for sharing the world from your perspective–it’s really helped me try to see the world the way our foster kids do. Your words have helped me more than you could ever imagine. Thank you for your blog. I’m really sorry about your dog. It hurts to lose a best friend. Wishing you all of the best and all of the hugs from my corner of the world. Hope you feel better soon.

  • 93. s00147954  |  April 2, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    Wishing you a safe easter LT xx make sure you treat yourself to lots of chocolate

  • 94. ritalee8383  |  April 5, 2015 at 4:01 pm

    I’ve been thinking of you LT on this the 2nd month anniversary of your dog’s passing. I’m sorry for all that you have been through. I hope that you are seeing Dr. Val. Wishing the best for you always.

  • 95. kotori  |  April 7, 2015 at 10:28 am

    LT, I miss you and I miss your posts. I hope you’re doing OK. Your blog has meant a lot to me as my husband and I go through the process to become licensed foster parents.

  • 96. onemorewithus  |  April 8, 2015 at 2:58 pm

    LT, hi… Just checking in.
    I hope to see notifications of your posts again 😦

    • 97. s00147954  |  April 9, 2015 at 12:12 am

      I’m worried – whenever i make a comment it appears straight away, i don’t think LT is moderating comments anymore? 😦

      • 98. onemorewithus  |  April 9, 2015 at 12:29 am

        No luv 😔 She hasn’t been moderating it, I don’t think 😥

  • 99. sageplant  |  April 9, 2015 at 11:37 pm

    Hi LT. Sorry it’s been awhile since I checked in. If you could , please drop us a line, we would like it. Some day we will all fly free….

  • 100. ritalee8383  |  April 11, 2015 at 10:00 pm

    I keep on trying to come up with something to say to you that will aid or comfort you in some small way but I can never think of anything to say. Every time I click on your site I’m hoping for a new post from you so that I know that you are ok. Thinking of you and wishing you well.

  • 101. littlerduck  |  April 12, 2015 at 2:16 am

    Hi, LT. You haven’t posted anything in a while, and I hope you’re doing okay. I care about you, and miss your writings and thoughts.

  • 102. butterflysblog  |  April 12, 2015 at 10:26 pm

    Hi Sweet LT – I’ve been thinking about you for days now. I miss you. I’m worried about you. I hope you’re okay. Love, Butterfly

  • 103. manyofus1980  |  April 12, 2015 at 10:39 pm

    LT checking on you. are you ok? please, if you can, let us know, i’m so so so worried about you. i hope your ok and nothing bad happened. XX

  • 104. waiting  |  April 13, 2015 at 2:40 am

    Checking in again,I miss you.

  • 105. Guest  |  April 13, 2015 at 7:23 pm

    Hey, I just wanted to say that I think and worry about you a lot. Just started the adoption process for my 16 year old foster son, and you inspired me to begin this whole foster adoption adventure. There’s nothing I can do to see if you’re okay, but I really hope you’re working through everything and doing great. Love you.

  • 106. Stephanie  |  April 13, 2015 at 11:40 pm

    Just thinking of ya, hoping for a new post. In your own time, as you’re ready.

  • 107. jencas025  |  April 16, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    Praying for you. You haven’t posted in a while I hope you are healing.

  • 108. ritalee8383  |  April 21, 2015 at 5:17 pm

    Just checking in to check to see if you posted LT. Thinking of you.

  • 109. Vanessa  |  April 22, 2015 at 11:44 pm

    I just lost my puppy to an accident and I know how you feel. I’ve never been this depressed before. Sometimes I really wouldn’t care if I lived or died, but I know I am alive because not caring about my life is selfish and takes away from my loves ones.
    I feel so guilty, and the only thing that seriously keeps me going is my faith. Pastors give me something a Doctor can’t. Doctors give me more reality, where my dog died and where my depression is, but my Pastor gives me emotional support, and the knowledge that my puppy opened his eyes after his last breath to see God and his life continue.
    If you aren’t religious I’m sorry this doesn’t help. But I think my grief hasn’t gotten any worse thanks to God.
    Another thing that helps is not being alone. The painful memories are worse for me when I’m alone.

  • 110. s00147954  |  April 23, 2015 at 4:22 am

    Checking in on you, Hope your’e OK LT x

  • 111. alisonkatieAlison  |  April 24, 2015 at 3:07 pm

    I just stumbled upon your blog because I am a new foster mother and I was looking all over the internet for advice and “I’ve been there” stories. While a post you made in 2010 gave me fantastic advice and eased my mind immensely, this post about your dog broke my heart.

    I just lost my cat Lucy in early december. She stopped eating, out of nowhere. The vet found that she had a UTI, and they thought maybe the pain of that caused her to stop eating. I had no idea because she showed no signs of a uti at all. Well not eating caused fatty liver disease and the only cure for that was for her to eat. She spent time at the vet hospital on IVs and they tried to coax her to eat, but eventually fitted her with a feeding tube. For almost three weeks I fed her via that feeding tube while she hid in our spare bedroom. She would not leave that room, choosing to sleep on the bed in there. I brought her litter box in there and her food (hoping that one day she’d eat it). Just when I was about to lose hope she started eating again, like someone flipped a switch and she was fine! I CRIED, LT. I cried my eyes out, I was so happy she was eating. SHe continued eating on her own for five days, and the vet took the feeding tube out. Then a week went by, and she suddenly stopped eating again. I did not want to make her go through the feeding tube thing again, and the vet said that if she was regressing now, it would just happen again. I tried syringe feeding her but she hated it and I hated myself for making her go through it. The vet said it was probably cancer. We made the painful decision to have her put down. I’ve never been so heartbroken in my life.

    I am sharing this with you because your post brought me back to that day. I was with my husband, but we stood there in the vets office, me holding lucy’s limp body after the sedative had been given, and my husband holding me and we just cried and cried and told her how sorry we were. The vet came in and gave her the final shot, and the vet cried with us, as did the nurse. They had grown to love her too during her stay because she was so sweet.

    I am so, SO very sorry to hear about your dog, even though I don’t know know. But I felt compelled to share since your post in 2010 helped me out so much. Thank you.

  • 112. Mark  |  April 25, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    I hope you are OK, heck I hope you are doing GREAT. Do know you have many friends even if you don’t know us all personally at this point. I am a foster parent, adopting our girls. Our Counties agency let us know about your blog. You have a far greater positive impact than you probably know. If you get a chance please just post a quick “hello all” or whatever you think that should be said. Thank you.

  • 113. jpirog2013  |  April 28, 2015 at 10:28 pm

    LT, I am sorry about your dog, it’s clear how close you were. Anyway, reading the comments up above makes it clear how much you mean to a lot of people. Take comfort in that indisputable truth. We want to hear from you to know you’re OK.

  • 114. krista1066  |  April 29, 2015 at 11:46 pm

    Thinking of you, LT, and hoping you’re okay.

  • 115. Ella  |  May 3, 2015 at 1:47 pm

    Hello LT. I understand your pain. Sorry to hear about Moonlight. You two love each other, I am sure she was sad leaving you, knowing how much you will lose her. It is unfair right, that a dog’s life is very short. I cried hours when my first dog passed away. He was my BF- I didn’t have friends at that time. But then, after few years, remember him isn’t as painful as it was. I had few dogs after that, and they all love me- different way. They all died now- but sometimes I remember them and wonder if they play balls up there in Rainbow Bridge. I pray to God if He can make heaven for all animals and we can visit them. I hope my dogs will be there to greet me. How joyful it would be!

    Take your time to grieve. When you are ready, open your heart to another soul. There are so many dogs who need love. They can love you – in their own way, too. I will say pray for Moonlight tonight. I hope he woofed and asked God to send an angel or two angels like him to you. Hugs LT.

  • 116. butterflysblog  |  May 4, 2015 at 10:33 pm

    Sweet LT – I miss you and I hope you are doing ok. Love, Butterfly

  • 117. ritalee8383  |  May 5, 2015 at 3:08 am

    Hi LT. It’s been 3 months today since you posted. I think about you and worry. I hope that you are seeing Dr. Val and she is helping you through this great loss & heartache in your life with the passing of your dear friend. I don’t know what else to say but I wish you well.

  • 118. coccomuffin  |  May 5, 2015 at 4:36 am

    …Thinking of you LT. I hope nothing bad happened to you and that you’re just taking some time for yourself to overcome your grief. ♡

  • 119. Katie C.  |  May 5, 2015 at 4:59 pm

    Just thinking of you today and hoping that you’re okay.

  • 120. jessithelibrarian  |  May 8, 2015 at 7:22 pm

    It’s been a while since we’ve heard from you. I hope you are okay. Please just let us know you are alive.

  • 121. Liza  |  May 9, 2015 at 5:52 pm

    Hey LT,
    Haven’t written in a long time but I’ve been checking regularly…
    I am so very sorry about Moonlight. Friends like that are hard to come by. I hope you are being kind to yourself as you grieve.
    LT – I really, sincerely hope that you’re still here. You bring light to my world even though I don’t have the privilege of knowing you personally – just knowing some of your story and what a fighter you are gives me hope and makes me want to keep going, too. Thinking of you and wishing you the best. When you’re up to it, please say hi to your blog peeps. We care, in the bloggy sort of way.

    • 122. Liza  |  May 9, 2015 at 5:58 pm

      And by the bloggy sort of way I mean nothing short of VERY MUCH, despite our internet relationship!
      Sending you love.

  • 123. sageplant  |  May 9, 2015 at 11:34 pm

    Well, sometimes its like being on a wild horses back. Kicking and getting thrown around and under the horses hoofs! How is it for you?
    Were trying to “fight the good fight” what that means, is try and keep the kids in a somewhat normal life. Whatever…thinking of you…
    Not all mothers can be a mother…but someone can be a friend and that might be the next best thing…love..

  • 124. Dorothy  |  May 10, 2015 at 9:44 am

    You are missed and needed so badly. Looking very much forward to your healing and returning to all of us out here. You keep me going as a Guardian ad Litem and help me through my daily work.

  • 125. tfreeman.org  |  May 10, 2015 at 8:53 pm

    I have been praying for you for quite some time. You don’t need to write for us no matter how much it had helped me. But I hope you are still finding a good way to work through your thoughts and emotions. I trust you find another good friend who gets you and can minister to you. Press on.

  • 126. sageplant  |  May 10, 2015 at 10:43 pm


  • 127. Sara  |  May 11, 2015 at 8:12 pm

    HI LT. I hope you are taking care of yourself. Miss your words.

  • 128. ritalee8383  |  May 13, 2015 at 12:12 am

    I do worry about you so much LT. I know that this is probably the most difficult time of your life with the loss of your baby. I wish I could take the pain away. Grief is such a hard and lonely road. I hope so much that you are seeing Dr. Val. I would appreciate it so much if you could just respond to one comment with even one word to let everyone know that you are still there. That’s what I worry about with you, that you will be gone and no one will ever know what happened to you. We all care for you so much. I know that you have touched my heart. You’ve been through so much heartache and I think how much can one person take? I do hope that you are clinging to life. That you come to realize that pain is very much a part of life and somehow we get through it. For whatever reason heartache opens us up to be much more compassionate in life to others. I don’t know why this is so. Heartache opens us up to be drawn to the broken birds in this world. There are so many people out there that you touch and teach. You are a voice for the voiceless. Your life and story have meaning. I hope you realize that.

    God bless.

  • 129. jessithelibrarian  |  May 13, 2015 at 10:25 pm

    I’ve been worried about you and I’m relieved to see your update. It hurts to lose someone you love, and it will hurt for a long time, but you know this… So all I can offer is a hug from afar and the knowledges that someone out there is thinking of you.

  • 130. jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj  |  February 22, 2016 at 4:49 am

    I am exactly the same, I hated my life but without my Kira I want to fucking die. The fact it was a hit and run makes me wish humanity could go with me. I hate this world and how it’s crafted from such selfishness and the only beautiful thing about it someone would kill without a second thought. None of this soppy stuff, fuck me and fuck you all. I wish you would all die with me so that such animals could live without us fucking it up.


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