dumb and dumped at the dentist

July 15, 2015 at 7:42 pm 45 comments

.bad-teeth-clipart-40053253

ARGH.  So today was my first dentist appointment.  i have 16 cavities that need to be filled or fixed or whatever you do to teeth.  The dentist, Dr. J is great, don’t get me wrong, but i think i literally got dumped by the dentist.  The first person ever to get dumped by a dentist is ME.  My front teeth look fabulous, but i feel dumb and dumped…

i gc7bfb4154a65b0c93f839b58a911786f.1000x800x1ot into the chair, got tons of nitrous which bought me back to my stoner days…. lots of drilling, squirting, noises…they turned the gas up higher…but i was ok…but I wasn’t….

Shit, i was all anxious and moving my legs and twitching and clenching my fists and voices in my head were screaming all kinds of things and …..I hope to god the things didn’t come out of my mouth

…. then it went like this when it was over:

DR J: Let’s talk about your teeth, and I feel like I need to tell you about something.

ME: <Still a little dizzy from nitrous and all the voices in my head.>  what?

DR. J: There are dentists that do sedation dentistry.  They give you a couple of pills, and you are semi-conscious, while they work on your teeth. They can do it all at once. You just need to have someone pick you up afterwards.  I feel that this is a great option for you.

ME:  what?sedation_dentistry

DR. J: Sedatation dentistry.  I don’t do it because I did not get the training, but there are dentists that do it. You won’t remember a thing.  I am really concerned about how stressed you get.

ME: <Suddenly realizing what is going on>… It’s NOT you.  You are a great dentist…. I don’t goto doctors or anyone like that…. it’s….. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and…

DR J:  What?

ME:  <…..swallowing to hold News_PTSD2_450_300_80the tears back>   …..I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and I HATE to be confined.  <I said PTSD because it’s one label they use on me… it’s one that people would understand I thought> It’s not you… Sedation dentistry would be worse… because i wouldn’t know what happens…..

…..Being confined is hard for me….

ME:  i dont have any family  … to drive me.  or friends.  i…..

ME: You want me to go somewhere else….?

DR. J: I would do the work, but I just felt that you should know that sedation dentistry is an option. We will go real slow. Take months instead of weeks.

DR J:  Do you know how to brush your teeth?

ME:  <saying the first thing that came to my mind….>  in circles?!  <i thought i was right… i heard that somewhere from someone once….i could have sworn i got that right…>   in circles…. <making circles wkTMb7Kzxcith my fingers>

DR J:  No….<I think she rolled her eyes> .. we will deal with that later.

How could I be so fucking stupid.  Of course I am stupid.  But I swear someone once told me to brush in circles…. At that point, I realized that once again LT is a fucking pain in the ass.  I wanted to tell her that I haven’t been to the dentist that much… that my life was crazy… but I sat there looking fucking stupid.

DR J: <left to get a phone call>  Tell D up front to schedule you for an hour…..

I got up and walked to the front desk.  D was not there, but one of the hygienists was. DR.J’s helper followed me up to the check-out front desk.

DR J’S HELPER:  Schedule her for an hour.

HYGIENIST:  for one cavity?  <laughing>

DR. J’S HELPER:  Let me look.

ME:  How many more do I have to go?SadTooth141

DR. J’s HELPER:  Let me see… we could do these together and these together and maybe…. Ah, just schedule the hour.. We will let DR J figure it out.

HYGIENIST: Are wednesdays good?  <still laughing at me>

ME: Do you want me to go somewhere else?  It’s ok…..

DR J’s HELPER:  No, it ok.  She just wanted to give you a choice…..

Then I was handed a card with a day and time on it.

I don’t knpictures-wallpaper-funnyow what is worse…. knowing that the dentist is bothered by me and wants me to go somewhere else or having the hygienist laugh at me. I felt like screaming at the hygienist behind the desk that PTSD or other mental problems are not funny.  They make it so I am scared to get treatment for stuff… imagine living like that….

 

…..but I didn’t, I just left and went home…. me and my dumped teeth…..

sad-teeth_~k5164562

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danger at the dentist back to the dentist and back to dogs

45 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Another Time  |  July 15, 2015 at 7:53 pm

    You’re not supposed to brush in circles?! I haven’t heard such a thing. Even the electric brushes do circles… :/

    That’s rude that they were in a sense poking fun up at the front desk. Doctor desk staff are often the worst! They never learn to be polite until the doctors come down on them. You should consider talking to the doc.

    I don’t think Dr. j meant it to sound that way. (I don’t know the tone and of course I’m not her so I of course don’t really know.) I think she really was just trying to be nice though and thinking of what could potentially be easiest on you. One big stressor rather than many smaller (but still quite big) stressor.

    Sorry it’s such a pain to deal with it. Cavities suck. I have to go back to the dentist, too. I don’t even know how much I have. Or want to know, really…

    Reply
  • 2. Lucy  |  July 15, 2015 at 8:06 pm

    It sounds like the dentist was genuinely concerned for you, but the hygienist…some people are just rude. It’s not you, it’s HER. She probably makes people feel small and dumb on a regular basis.

    Reply
    • 3. Sarah  |  July 16, 2015 at 1:13 am

      This was my thought as well. The dentist was trying to provide you with an option that could ease your stress. The hygienist was being a jerk.

      Reply
  • 4. instantkarma85  |  July 15, 2015 at 8:23 pm

    brushing your teeth in circles IS a real thing. brushing from side to side doesn’t reach all the areas of your tooth properly. you have to brush for 3 minutes (i use an egg timer for me and the kids, and do 30 seconds on each section of our mouths. (back of bottom teeth right, back of bottom teeth left, front etc) They sounded rude, but I agree I don’t think the doctor was trying to get rid of you, just probably noticed your distress and was trying to offer you an option that might help. I just got 4 wisdom teeth pulled a few months ago. AFTER they took x-rays, and supposedly looked at them they tried to pull them out. one of them had a giant “spur” that was buried into my jawbone and he didnt notice it on the xray, so he just ripped at it for 20 minutes with all of his instruments until he decided to break it in my jaw and take the pieces out….and I was awake. the point is : just because someone has a degree it doesnt make them smart- I looked at the xrays after and could have told you the bones were fused… and I just got my GED at the ripe old age of 29. So don’t let them make you feel small. You have accomplished and endured more in your lifetime than they could ever even comprehend. you are a warrior… they are likely just some over privileged brats whose parents told them to go to school so they did because they were too scared to risk anything and try something else. Don’t let them bring you down. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ❤

    Reply
  • 5. Foster Mom in Training  |  July 15, 2015 at 8:28 pm

    LT, your dentist didn’t dump you. She told you about an option she thought would help you out. She is willing to take it slow with you. Are you comfortable with one hour and one cavity at a time? She really wants you to not be stressed out. (((Hugs))) She would be an awful doctor if she didn’t give you the option.

    That Hygenist should not have laughed. I seriously doubt she knew what you have been through. Sometimes, people in the medical field forget what it’s like to not know what will happen. She was completely out of line. You could ask to have someone else work with you when you go back.

    LT, I want you to know this is NOT a time you are being dumped. If she didn’t want you back then she would’ve told you she couldn’t handle you. She didn’t do that. I know you are nervous. Hang in there and take baby steps.

    As for brushing your teeth, go out and buy a Sonicare Toothbrush. They are worth every penny. You can find one at Wal-Mart for $35.

    Hang in there, LT. You are strong enough to get through this dental work. I have faith in you! 😉

    Reply
  • 6. lee1978  |  July 15, 2015 at 8:40 pm

    LT I am sorry that the employee out front was so insensitive to you. But don’t let her rudeness turn you away. Your dentist actually sounds really nice and I think she was just thinking because you were stressed taht you would want to know that there was another choice for you. Hang in there and go to that appointment. I should also say that I used to be really scared of the dentist and I have a nice one now and things are lots better. But when I first started going there one of the hygenists was rude about my teeth having lots of placque on them. I asked for a different hygenist the next time I went and she was super nice. I still see her and so do all my kids.

    Reply
  • 7. Stephanie  |  July 15, 2015 at 8:44 pm

    I brush in circles too! If we aren’t supposed to, let me know bc we’re both doing it wrong! I don’t think the Dentist is dumping you babe; sounds like she saw how much she put you through and thought you might prefer it as an option. I think that’s nice.

    And- the office assistant ppl can piss off. They may not have even been talking to you, but if they were, eff them. You darling accomplished a new milestone today! Hard? Heck, yeah! But who is still standing? LT. You are awesome.

    Reply
  • 8. Tara dSL  |  July 15, 2015 at 9:01 pm

    I’m so happy that you are getting your teeth taken care of. I saw your last post and I didn’t have time to write a comment but I know a lot of other people did. I have had a lot of problems with my teeth and they just do not get better by ignoring them… trust me. My dad has only 7 teeth left in his mouth because of poor dental hygiene when he was younger. This makes it hard to talk, eat, etc. But it’s not too late for you to get back on track. I am glad you are taking steps to protect your body and your health.

    With regard to the dentist, it sounds like she wants to help but is a little bit clueless. She obviously thinks you have some anxiety related to dentistry, which lots and lots of people have – but she does not understand what PTSD is. So you might have to educate her a little bit. Not telling her the entire story of your life, but something more general, such as “I suffer from PTSD as a result of being exposed to violence early in life. I don’t really want to get into details, but I recommend you read a little about PTSD, and I can tell you what would help me feel more comfortable with these dental procedures.” Then tell her specifically what you need.

    Regarding the hygienist, that is completely unacceptable behavior! There is nothing funny about mental illness. For that matter, there is nothing funny about having one single cavity, let alone 16! I recommend you write a letter to the dentist describing your experience. It won’t be a lot of work, because you’ve already written it here on the blog. Start from where you write, “I got up and walked to the front desk.” Copy and paste everything from there until the end of the post, and add that you thought she would want to know how her employee treated a patient with disrespect.

    Wow, I am just boiling mad on your behalf, LT! If I knew you personally, I would stomp into that office and give those dentists a piece of my mind. I would also go with you and hold your hand and keep you company through all your 16 appts. I am sorry that you don’t have someone to do this for you. But I’m still glad you’re doing it for yourself. That takes a lot of courage.

    Reply
  • 9. Lori  |  July 15, 2015 at 9:06 pm

    LT – I think the dentist was offering you an option because she cared about your well-being and she is willing to go very slowly with you. I think it is very cool that she actually listened and heard what you were saying about dental phobia. The dental hygienist was being a snot and you should just flick her off like a booger.
    I also want to tell you how brave you are to go to the dentist and get your teeth fixed. Keep up the good work, L.T.

    Reply
  • 10. Claude  |  July 15, 2015 at 9:08 pm

    LT, it doesn’t sound like you got dumped at all. I think the dentist was trying to give you options since you were obviously uncomfortable. Once you shared your situation it sounds like she wanted to support you and work with you in whatever way would be most useful to you.

    I think you may be misreading their actions as dumping or laughing at you. Maybe the helper was trying to get you to relax by acting light-hearted. She may have been thinking if she smiled and laughed, you might too.

    I think you’re incredibly brave for going, for taking care of your teeth, for investing in yourself this way, and for facing what you know is an uncomfortable situation for you. Keep being brave.

    And you were 100% right about circles. Even if you were wrong, though, you shouldn’t knock yourself or feel bad for your answer. But circles are the way I was taught by my dentist.

    Reply
  • 11. Kimberly Williams  |  July 15, 2015 at 9:10 pm

    LT do you ever get mad? Ever time you are so nice and take the crap people dish out always internalizing it and never givin it back to them! I think it would be more than okay if once in a while you stood up for yourself and just threw back at these people the info and knowledge they are lacking: “Im not sure why you think my ptsd is funny or any of your concern that hour im booking is paying your salary so maybe youd be better off keeping your personal feelings to yourself and work on your professionalism just a bit more or consider a different job” idk just a thought…..

    Reply
  • 12. Lana  |  July 15, 2015 at 9:10 pm

    I thought you were supposed to brush in circles too! When I go to the dentist I tell them not to tell me anything about what they’re doing until its all over. This keeps me from imagining what they are doing to my poor teeth. Then I put headphones on and blast the music really loud. This helps drowned out all of the weird noises,drilling, etc…I don’t know what it is with office people. sometimes the best doctors have the worst staff.

    Reply
  • 13. bluejuliej  |  July 15, 2015 at 9:11 pm

    LT – The dentist didn’t dump you — she suggested an alternative because she cares about your well-being. She thought that since going to the dentist is so very scary for you, that having 1 big dental surgery to fix ALL your teeth would be less traumatic than having her fix your teeth in 16 separate appointments.

    Here’s an analogy: My youngest daughter was born with a potentially very serious heart defect. At a pediatrician appointment when she was a few weeks old, Dr. Pediatrician referred her to Dr. Pediatric Cardiologist… not because the doc didn’t like my daughter and simply wanted to be rid of her, but because my girl had a complicated health issue (sort of like your complicated dental issues) that she lacked the specialized skills to monitor/fix (sort of like how the dentist suggested you see another dentist with specialized training, the sedation dentist).

    Reply
    • 14. Blessedmom  |  July 17, 2015 at 12:35 am

      I agree completely! I think that your Dentist was showing compassion for your discomfort and professionalism by making sure you are aware of all your options before you choose to continue on the path your on.
      You know it’s hard to keep going back. She was attentive enough to you that she also knows it’s going to be hard for you to keep going back. She may be afraid that you’ll stop coming before your done with all the dental work you need. It was very kind and selfless of her to be sure you were aware that you had other options, that there are people with more training than her that could get you taken care of in one long appointment that you wouldn’t remember.
      My dental hygienist taught me to brush in circles…3 circles on each tooth surface.

      Reply
  • 15. s00147954  |  July 15, 2015 at 9:39 pm

    I’ve heard the brushing in circles thing too! It sounds like the hygienist was really unprofessional, she had no right to laugh at you. Maybe you could put in a complaint? Or if you don’t feel comfortable doing that, write a letter that gets all your feelings down on paper – you don’t have to actually send it but it might be a release – I’d be mad too. That hygienist has no idea of how much of a survivor you are, and how much strength it took to even start going to the dentist. I agree with the other commenters, it sounds like the dentist was thinking of what would work best for you? You have to decide I guess – Do you think you can keep having all the work done with just the gas the way you have been, or do you feel like you need more? It did sound like you were pretty anxious (Maybe you could get KC to pick you up or something?)

    Don’t be too hard on yourself LT x think of how good you’ll feel when it’s all over and done with.

    Reply
  • 16. jnkmailacc  |  July 15, 2015 at 9:53 pm

    The nitrous didn’t work I me either, too much adrenaline I was told. I had to be “put under.”. I hate the dentist so passionately. I just went to the biggest douche of all last week. Endured lots of pain bc lidocaine doesn’t work on me either, Paid $600 and he gave me a crown that looks like a glob of juicy fruit. And now my bite is all whack. If you live in ny, I’ll pick you up. I feel your pain. A hygienist was mean to my husband last time he went, he hasn’t been back since. He brushes twice a day and flosses. She said to him, ” Do you even brush your teeth?!” Really nasty and rolled her eyes. He was really embarrassed. Some Pp are just jerks.

    Reply
  • 17. crochetbycalla  |  July 15, 2015 at 10:29 pm

    Oh LT! It was rude of the hygienist to laugh at you but your dentist wasn’t trying to dump you. They just want you to be comfortable and less stressed. I’m super proud of you for telling them why you found it hard and scheduling another appointment. Keep going back!

    Also I don’t think the dentist was rolling her eyes at you. If it were me I would have been rolling my eyes at the people who should have taught you how to brush properly when you were little!

    Reply
  • 18. sageplant  |  July 15, 2015 at 10:30 pm

    you didn’t get dumped, and if you can consider the sedation, it is a good option. there’s tons of people that don’t do well at dentist for tons of reasons. its just gonna be a bad day when you go to the dentist, but…its true about getting bad infections if you dont deal with the teeth.i know, you dont have someone to take you home.hmmm, that may be an issue, is it solvable?

    Reply
  • 19. Elizabeth  |  July 15, 2015 at 10:44 pm

    It does not sound like the dentist was trying to get rid of you, especially if you got an appointment card. You might want to wait until your teeth are done before you complain about the hygienist 😉

    Reply
  • 20. onemorewithus  |  July 15, 2015 at 11:01 pm

    Like most here, I too was taught that we should brush in circles. You said you’re still a little dizzy? Maybe your motion was not quite clear and she misinterpreted what you meant.
    I also agree, I don’t think she was dumping you. Very much the opposite. I think she saw how you were struggling and just offered a good option to help you out.
    Yeah, the hygienest was out of line. She was insensitive to your struggle. It’s tough to meet people like that. We all bump into these every now and again.
    Take courage, LT. You were dumped. Could someone from work give you a ride?

    Reply
    • 21. onemorewithus  |  July 15, 2015 at 11:04 pm

      Ugh!!! I meant “you were NOT dumped”!!! 😣

      Reply
  • 22. Sharon  |  July 15, 2015 at 11:14 pm

    Hi. If I skip the laughing and eye-rolling and focus on the words the dentist said (maybe not the scheduler), her words don’t sound unkind to me. I definitely hear you saying that they were making fun of you, and thought you were stupid for not taking care of your teeth and brushing, and it sounded painful.

    This particular experience caught my attention in light of my son, now age 7 (who has a trauma history from ages 0-3). It seems to me that he often perceives that people are making fun of him when they are not. So, it really hit home for me when I read the following in a research report: “children who have repeatedly been exposed to violence may perceive relatively non-threatening or ambiguous
    situations as threatening because they have learned from past
    experience that social interactions are frequently dangerous and that heightened vigilance promotes their own safety.” http://www.srcd.org/sites/default/files/documents/spr_28_1.pdf. Might this somehow have colored your interpretation of the dentist experience?

    I was recently driving behind a car that had a Virginia license plate with a coiled snake. The motto read, “Don’t tread on me.” I thought: that could be a motto for people who’ve been traumatized. Feeling small, needing to defend themselves, worried of being squashed. It must be difficult to feel like that. I wish I could past the graphic here, but here’s a link. http://www.dmv.virginia.gov/vehicles/#splates/info.asp?idnm=DTOM

    Good luck with the dental work. I hope you able to get it resolved. Dental problems are no fun at all.

    Reply
  • 23. songsforsilences  |  July 15, 2015 at 11:26 pm

    LT, you are not dumb. You are smart, brave and strong – you went back to the dentist, you were honest about your fears and your PTSD, and you made another appointment despite that poopface hygienist! You go girl. ❤

    Reply
  • 24. Tina  |  July 16, 2015 at 12:01 am

    I hate the denstist. I never had a probelm as I got older I did.i cant even make a apointment weeks ahead or I get myself so worked up I usually end up canceling .when I finally go I move all over the chiar to.alot of people have trouble don’t worry about it. The denstist only offered the other option to make you more confortable and they could do more at one time to get it done fast so it was less.stress on.you …and as far as brushing your teeth you be suprised at how.many people dont brush right .dont sweat it 🙂

    Reply
  • 25. ritalee8383  |  July 16, 2015 at 12:46 am

    LT could your friend KC or one of her parents pick you up? IT seems like it would be a good if you could be sedated and get it all over with at once.

    I brush in circles. I brush at an angle at the gum lines. Also you need to brush the inside of your teeth too. I count to 10 in different sections so that I do a good job.

    Reply
  • 26. Gina wilcox  |  July 16, 2015 at 1:09 am

    It’s interesting how perspective changes a convo. I wanted to jump in and say NoNo! That’s not what she (dr j) meant!
    I was a dental assistant once- and A LOT of people are terrified of the dentist. I had a man who was so big his feet dangled over the end of the dental chair that shed big fat tears when we tried to numb him up. Bless his heart, I wanted to give him a big hug. But he was terrified. We gave him an absurd amount of nitrous but it didn’t phase him. I hated seeing him panic and I was TERRIFIED that I would accidentally do something that would hurt him or make his fears worse. I know he hated it that he couldn’t control his fear- probably even more so because he was such a big robust country boy. We were able to do a few of his front teeth but the dr. recommended sedation dentistry for him also. He said it would be less traumatic. He got all of his work done and I saw him in Winn Dixie (I’m from a small town) years later and he said he goes every 6 months for a cleanig and hasn’t had a cavity since.

    And as far as the brushing in circles thing, Up until a few minutes ago when I read our post I also thought that was the proper way to brush teeth. Tiny little swirling circles. So this is news to me. And I was a dental assistant! Now that was back probably in 2001 or 2002… So I guess protocol has changed? Either way, give yourself a break- You know you are very smart and capable! And if dr j will show you the proper way to brush, you can relay it to the rest of us who have apparently also been doing it wrong all these years.

    And if you live even remotely close to Birmingham, AL I would be glad to take you to a sedation dentist. And I can record the whole procedure or you can wear my husband’s bodycam (he’s a policeman) so you’ll know what went on 🙂

    Reply
  • 27. sageplant  |  July 16, 2015 at 1:34 am

    By the way…your awesome for going to the dentist!

    Reply
  • 28. stayinginshadows  |  July 16, 2015 at 1:58 am

    Hey LT, for several years I had really bad self-care. Some minor depression I think. Anyway went to the dentist and had tons of cavities I think I had 4 appointments that lasted 2-3 hours each. The whole thing got me down because it reminded me I was bad at taking care of myself. But I used it that as an opportunity to start taking care of my teeth.

    I think your dentist really wants to help you fix your teeth and teach you how to care for your them in the future. When you get all your teeth fixed, they may comeback and find one or two more cavities (happened to me), don’t let that get you down. It took me a while, but now my teeth are in much better shape. From my experience it was another small step in improving myself, maybe its the same for you.

    Reply
  • 29. Jenia  |  July 16, 2015 at 5:07 am

    L I just wanted to tell you that the dentist wasn’t trying to dump they are concerned because you are so fidgety that you might be more comfortable with being semi conscious. I have dentist issues and I haven’t had to deal with even a tiny percentage of the crap you have. Your posts are a constant source of admiration that I have for you and the bravery you display by sharing your world and experiences with strangers. As a foster mom I applaud your bravery and hope you keep pushing your personal boundaries. You are brave and I am glad you are taking control of your life even if you don’t realize it these small steps are just that. I wish I could be more help but know that even though I don’t know you my heart goes out to you and I am awed by your bravery

    Jenai

    Reply
  • 30. bethanylest  |  July 16, 2015 at 8:11 am

    I thought you were supposed to brush in circles too! Hm. I would be interested in hearing what your dentists says. Good job for going! 🙂

    Reply
  • 31. primalktc  |  July 16, 2015 at 8:43 am

    I have real problems going to the dentist too, you are not alone in that! I never go unless it hurts really bad, and I always get the gas.

    One thing I’ve learned is that most dentists are used to people being scared of them. I think your dentist was just trying to offer an option that might work better for you, even though you know it wouldn’t. You did a good job trying to explain that to him. I think you should go back, and don’t worry about making your dentist uncomfortable- it’s his profession, he’s used to it, and it’s his job to take care of you. Good luck, LT!

    Reply
  • 32. kotori  |  July 16, 2015 at 8:50 am

    So sorry to hear about your rough experience with the dentist. I agree with others who have said the dentist genuinely seems to be looking for a way to help you. Hopefully after another session or 2 you will build a better rapport with her. Not that any trip will be easy, but you can work towards something that is bearable. Don’t give up on it.

    As for the circles thing, I wonder if the recommendation for how to brush has changed. The last time I was at the dentist, my dentist showed me a whole new way to brush, and I had to sit through a video on it too. Don’t feel bad for not knowing something. We all learn as we go along. I second the recommendation of the Sonicare brush, if you have the $35 to spare. Your dentist might have coupons for them too (mine always offers). If not, brushing a couple times a day is still good, and adding a daily fluoride rinse helps too.

    Reply
  • 33. Jen  |  July 16, 2015 at 9:58 am

    I agree with what a lot of other posters said – send a letter to the dentist if you feel the front desk person’s behavior was genuinely inappropriate.

    Also, to add on to what someone suggested regarding toothbrushes, I use an Oral-B electric toothbrush. I love it and my gums and general dental health have really improved from using it. I admit I don’t floss as much as I should but my hygienist is truly in the dark about my lack of flossing since my toothbrush is so great. Because it is pretty expensive ($100 or so), I recently bought my daughter a battery-operated Oral-B for around $12. My Oral-B will automatically shut off after 2 minutes so you know when to stop – I’m not sure if the battery-operated one does that but I’m guessing it does. This is a relatively small investment and is definitely much cheaper (and less painful!) than getting fillings done. Once all your dental work is done, consider it your opportunity to start with a clean slate. 🙂

    Good for you for putting your health first in spite of the discomfort/pain it is putting you through. You owe this to yourself. Hang in there!

    Reply
  • 34. coccomuffin  |  July 16, 2015 at 3:32 pm

    Dear she didn’t dump you at all, she noticed you were feeling uneasy and thought it’d be better redirecting you to someone more competent than her. It’s common occurrence in certain cases, so don’t blame yourself 😉
    And don’t ever consider yourself dumb! You know, I, too, thought that teeth had to be brushed in circles… At least that’s what I was told once.
    I’m so proud of you for behaving responsibly towards yourself and going back to the dentist. Don’t let this unpleasant experience keep you from taking care of yourself, ok?!
    It doesn’t matter if it’ll take months to fix your teeth, all it matters is that at the end you’ll be healthier. 🙂 ♡

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  • 35. tomorrowsmemories  |  July 16, 2015 at 5:55 pm

    I can’t say anything differently than what was already said. Hang in there sweetie!!! You CAN do this!!! ❤

    Reply
  • 36. John Stanton  |  July 16, 2015 at 8:34 pm

    On the mechanics of brushing, aim for the gum line. That really helps prevent gum disease. As far as motion goes… circles, up and down, side to side. I always forget what is best.

    But, can I draw you attention to something you wrote: “My front teeth look fabulous”. Nice work!

    My mother-in-law had vertigo (think anxiety on crack). She would start to scream as soon as the dentist tried to have her recline. She would also complain if she had to wait for anything.

    You are a pretty normal patient. The dentist just wants you to not suffer. Keep on keeping on. Sounds like you are making some major progress.

    John

    Reply
  • 37. Gisela  |  July 16, 2015 at 9:26 pm

    Hi LT,
    Congratulations for going to the dentist again. I was also told by a dentist years ago that I was not brushing correctly and she showed me how to do it in circles. Maybe things have changed again. That is part of their job to show us how to do it right. You are not dumb for not knowing something.
    I think going to so many visits might be good for you to get used to going to the dentist and reducing some of the reactions associated with it (like the fear of having people so close to you).
    If you felt hurt by the dentist and the assistants’ reactions, please try to forgive them. Like Jesus said from the cross “Father forgive them, they do not know what they are doing”. Maybe they do not know or understand your situation.
    Go to your next appointment, ready to have more teeth fixed and ready to learn new things. May God be with you and give you peace and guide the dentist and her assistants.
    Best regards,
    Gisela

    Reply
  • 38. Meagan  |  July 17, 2015 at 12:42 am

    I totally understand the dentist discomfort. I freak out at the dentist’s office and have to do work under sedation also. The dentist I think was genuinely concerned about your well-being. The employees, however, were just rude and you shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of behavior. Having teeth that need to be fixed is kind of par for the course for us ex fosters. And those of us who have experienced trauma have a harder time in particular with the dentist. It’s totally normal. I mean like, YOU are totally normal.

    Reply
  • 39. manyofus1980  |  July 17, 2015 at 1:58 am

    LT, I’m so sorry the hygenist treated you like that. But at least dr J was good. I suppose she just wants to give you all the options so you can make your own choice. Never mind the fucking hygeneist. she sounds like an ass. Glad your going to go back and get the work done. XX

    Reply
  • 40. mesomama  |  July 17, 2015 at 3:26 pm

    LT, this makes me so sad. I do not have PTSD but I freak out at the dentist. It took me years to find a dentist who can deal with me, but he is the right one. It sounds like this dentist wants to be able to work with you, but if you aren’t comfortable, you could consider going elsewhere. Have you considered asking Dr. Val if she knows of any dentists who work with people dealing with trauma?

    Reply
  • 41. Elise  |  July 18, 2015 at 12:19 pm

    I thought you brushed in circles. I really did. How the heck are we supposed to brush then?
    Also, she wasn’t dumping you. She just wanted you to know that there are other options that may be more comfortable for you. She was caring about how you were so upset, and wanted you to have the choice to continue with her or to go somewhere that may be less stressful for you. P.S., I haven’t been to the dentist in 5 years.

    Reply
  • 42. Stephanie  |  July 21, 2015 at 9:57 am

    Hey LT! Just thinking of you this morning and hoping you have a good day. 😊

    Reply
  • 43. Mona  |  September 4, 2015 at 4:15 pm

    Hey LT – I know it’s been awhile since you posted this, and everyone else has already covered that they don’t think the dentist was trying to dump you so I won’t join in, but I did want to comment on sedation. I had it recommended to me too because dentists make me so nervous that the anesthetic doesn’t work properly and I’m literally shaking the chair with my trembling, and I had a lot of the same worries – if I don’t know what’s happening or I can’t remember, anything could have happened, that sort of thing. But I accepted because the pain was pretty bad, and it wasn’t like I had expected; proper amnesia doesn’t happen to everyone. They gave me a benzodiazepine, I believe, and all it did was stop me forming memories of my emotions during the procedure, and make me a bit spacey during it. I was aware of what was going on, I was in control of myself – I’d worried too about what I might say or do in that state – I still felt some pain and fear and anxiety, but I only know about the emotions because I remember thinking about them at the time. The memory itself is emotionally neutral to me and I’d have no qualms about doing it again as a result.

    Maybe you can see if you’d be allowed to experience the sedation beforehand, in a safe place, to see how it affects you?

    Reply
  • 44. Dana McNeely  |  February 20, 2016 at 9:15 am

    LT, I will just comment on people who are “jerks”. I wasn’t there, but I am actually quite close to several people who any sane person would call jerks. I happen to know of one person who laughs inappropriately, often making others feel scorned or ridiculed. But actually “the jerk” has poor people skills, gets nervous, and goes into this joke-mode and doesn’t know when to stop. It’s still wrong, but it’s not about you. It’s about the other person’s inadequacies, short-comings, faults. We all have them.

    It’s understandable that you felt laughed at, most people would. But maybe the other person was unable to stop themselves, due to their own version of PTSD. So sorry it happened to you though.

    Reply
  • 45. momma2abby  |  April 16, 2016 at 8:56 am

    My kiddo gets put under to get her dental work done. Sedation dentistry is often used by folks that have traumas. You weren’t being dumped. They were suggesting someone that would have more options to treat you well.

    Reply

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