back to the dentist and back to dogs

July 21, 2015 at 9:11 pm 288 comments


Tomorrow i go back to the dentist for my 2nd appointment with the cool dentist, but the mean hygienist.  i am more nervous than i was the first time.  i did look up how to brush your teeth correctly….so for all your circle people like me, we are WRONG

You are suppose to brush at a 45 degree angle and then the other teeth like up and down.  i don’t even know what a 45 degree angle looks like…. screw it… here it is with pictures – click   Get to #2 on this handy dandy guide

…so circles are out and angles are in… who knew?


On another front…. BIG NEWS….  i looked at three dogs … on the internet … that are housed by rescue organizations.  i haven’t looked at dogs since Moonlight died, so that was a big step.  im betting that the rescue groups won’t pick me though for some reason that they decide.  i still miss Moonlight like crazy, but i miss having a companion with me to hang out and goto parks and go hiking, and just being… Moonlight was my best friend even above all people I ever met…

i cried when i alasksaw the first dog on the internet, because it looked like a baby Moonlight.  But, i saw my vet the other day and she told me NOT to get a baby Moonlight… because i will constantly compare Moonlight to the new dog.  That was her advice.  My vet is very smart and i think she is right. There is no dog that could ever live up to Moonlight, i don’t think.

For those of you that don’t know, Moonlight was magic. When i would wake up in the closet confused, she was there.  When i would wake up confused in the hallway, she was there.  When i would wake up covered in blood from cutting myself, she was there, covered in blood too.  She went everywhere with me… even to work sometimes.  She made me feel safe.  When she got sick, i learned to cook for her.  When she got sick, i took real good care of her. She was the most straight-going creature i have ever met, no games with Moonlight.  Moonlight was magic…. and I miss her…

… so based on my vets smart advice, the next two dogs that i saw on the internet did NOT look like a baby Moonlight, they looked like “other” dogs.  i am not looking at puppies, but young adults. it seems like there are alot of puppies at rescue groups… that is so sad.

i cry each time i think of getting another dog.  i wouldn’t want Moonlight to feel like she is being replaced. she could never be replaced… i just miss having a dog….


*For those of you wondering, my other dog Shadow became KC’s dog… it’s ALL GOOD though.. the goofballs were meant for each other.  It’s a long story and a long blog….


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dumb and dumped at the dentist

288 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Colleen  |  July 21, 2015 at 9:18 pm

    Good luck tomorrow at the dentist, and kudos for looking up the brushing technique! You are doing great self care, one tooth at a time 😊
    It’s great you are looking to rescue again, Moonlight would want that for you…keep us posted 💖

    • 2. manyofus1980  |  July 19, 2017 at 8:08 pm

      was just wondering, I am lt’s friend and an abuse survivor I live with dissociative identity disorder and ptsd, I was wondering if you’d like to follow and view my blog? the link is

  • 3. Nathan  |  July 21, 2015 at 9:19 pm

    It was really good to read this post, LT. You seem to be in a good place right now and that is great. I remember a while back some of your posts I didn’t know if there would ever be another one. You should know that you have touched more lives in a positive way than you will probably ever know.

    • 4. manyofus1980  |  July 19, 2017 at 8:09 pm

      was just wondering, I am lt’s friend and an abuse survivor I live with dissociative identity disorder and ptsd, I was wondering if you’d like to follow and view my blog? the link is

  • 5. nightaura  |  July 21, 2015 at 9:22 pm

    While a rescue group might want to do things like a home visit and check references, you can still adopt a dog from a local pound. Here, there are pounds where stray dogs are taken and if not found by an owner, are adopted out and the fees are usually really cheap. They usually don’t require all the stuff a rescue would, either. I actually foster dogs for a local rescue. I have a 6 year old Yellow lab named Oliver. He is sweet and LOVES people. He can be protective of his things, especially if they are in his mouth, and he doesn’t like a metal crate (the ones that are all wire), but is currently sleeping in a plastic crate (like they use to fly in) with a bed in it next to my med with the door open. If you want to chat about rescues and such, let me know. Good luck tomorrow! I hope it is the mean lady’s day off!

    • 6. manyofus1980  |  July 19, 2017 at 8:11 pm

      was just wondering, I am lt’s friend and an abuse survivor I live with dissociative identity disorder and ptsd, I was wondering if you’d like to follow and view my blog? the link is

  • 7. manyofus1980  |  July 21, 2015 at 9:26 pm

    good luck for tomorrow. i hope that it doesnt hurt too much. dentists scare us. give your insiders lots of space afterwords, they’ll probably need it. so glad you are maybe gonna get another dog. moonlight will never be replaced, but you can learn to love another dog, just like you loved moonlight. XX

  • 8. bluejuliej  |  July 21, 2015 at 9:44 pm

    Good luck at the dentist!

    And it’s great that you are you are looking at dogs in need of homes. Getting a new dog doesn’t mean you love Moonlight any less… Moonlight was such an amazing dog that you’re honoring his memory by loving and providing a wonderful home for another pup in need.

    (Rescues are the best. I was raised with a rescue, all my parents dogs have been rescues, my hound’s a rescue and I volunteer for the rescue I adopted him from).

    • 9. manyofus1980  |  July 19, 2017 at 8:12 pm

      was just wondering, I am lt’s friend and an abuse survivor I live with dissociative identity disorder and ptsd, I was wondering if you’d like to follow and view my blog? the link is

  • 10. sheila  |  July 21, 2015 at 9:51 pm

    may i put in a suggestion of an x racing greyhound? they are big, gentle, sweet, older, great apartment dogs and tend to get very attached to you as soon as they know you will treat them right. I had a large black brindle male, Chandler. love him still.

    good luck at the dentist. going to the dentist stinks.

    • 11. manyofus1980  |  July 19, 2017 at 8:15 pm

      was just wondering, I am lt’s friend and an abuse survivor I live with dissociative identity disorder and ptsd, I was wondering if you’d like to follow and view my blog? the link is

  • 12. Stephanie  |  July 21, 2015 at 9:59 pm

    Good luck tomorrow! My dentist will be happy to know that I’m not longer brushing in circles too.

    You took such good care of Moonlight, LT. Another dog would be SO LUCKY to have you; I think Moonlight will be happy for you.

  • 13. jnkmailacc  |  July 21, 2015 at 10:19 pm

    I feel like your dog would want you to rescue another, give it the same love. I think you should just go meet some dogs, then you’ll know even if it looks like Moonlight, you’ll know. I love animal people, they are the best of this world.

    • 14. manyofus1980  |  July 19, 2017 at 8:06 pm

      was just wondering, I am an abuse survivor I live with dissociative identity disorder and ptsd, I was wondering if you’d like to follow and view my blog? the link is

  • 15. Gisela  |  July 21, 2015 at 10:29 pm

    Hi LT,
    I was thinking of you today whIle watching Heaven is for Real. I liked it.
    Good luck at the dentist tomorrow. It is nice that you are looking at dogs and remembering Moonlight with love.
    Maybe thinking nice things like memories of Moonlight, or dogs, or the ocean… while at the dentist, might help you relax.
    God bless you.

  • 16. bfontaine74  |  July 21, 2015 at 10:44 pm

    I was thinking about you the other day…when I finally made it to the dentist. The hygienist took my blood pressure (i don’t know why?) and said it was really high. She asked if I was nervous…and I said YES! I thought going to the beach before would have been calming and relaxing. I guess not enough!!! Hang in there. You can do this!

  • 17. nighsparrow  |  July 21, 2015 at 10:56 pm

    Lots of luck at the dentist. I’ll be thinking good thoughts for you!

    I’m glad you’re looking at getting another dog. One will be there for you when you’re ready. We never really heal from the heartbreak of losing a beloved companion, but a new one soothes the heart somehow.

  • 18. Lana  |  July 21, 2015 at 11:18 pm

    Moonlight sounds fabulous!!! I always enjoy your blog posts. prayers for your appointment tomorrow and for your search for a new companion.

  • 19. momma2abby  |  July 22, 2015 at 12:36 am

    I wonder if you could get a dog that was trained to help you some. Like a seeing eye dog– except of course you don’t need help because of your vision. I forget what they call dogs that are trained to help people. But dogs have been trained for all sorts of things. Like some dogs can be trained to know when someone is going to have a seizure the dog will alert them to get to a safe place. They don’t know how the dog knows before the person does exactly but apparently they can train dogs to do it. I’m wondering if the dog could be trained to help keep you grounded. I dunno. I just know that my kiddo’s dog definitely can tell when the kiddo has switched. There are costs associated with that kind of training, but sometimes the training organization has grants.

    Your Vet was right about not getting a dog that looks like Moonlight. I know people who have done it and they are always disappointed. Some pets are just extra special. You also might like a male cat. Harbor was female right? The males tend to be more into people and are more interested in being affectionate. I’ve had some lovely female cats that I really liked but when I think about getting a cat again I keep thinking about getting a boy.

    To be honest with you I have never said ‘hmm I want a pet. I’ll go out and look for one. Strays seem to find me somehow. Usually a friend has found one and then after they are unable to find its owners they start looking to find someone to take it. My parents have had pretty good luck getting dogs from the pound. Some rescue groups are a little crazy in terms of what they require before you are allowed to take the dog home. Really crazy. You might want to ask that very smart Vet of yours to refer you or keep an eye out for a dog that needs a new home.

  • 20. onemorewithus  |  July 22, 2015 at 1:19 am

    So cool about you looking at other dogs 💞 You would never replace Moonlight by getting another dog. You would simply enlarge your heart by loving on one more. One will never be like the other, and each will have a special place in your heart.
    So, though I have read all your posts ( as far as I know), I never really learned who KC is. Is she a co-worker? I presume she is a friend?
    I was wondering about Shadow, so I’m happy to know KC has her!
    Don’t worry too much about perfectly brushing your teeth. Do take care of them and brush them well… But know that no one really measures circles or angles. Just be consistent.
    One more dentist trip and it is two down and only 4 more to go? You can do it!

  • 21. Stephanie  |  July 22, 2015 at 8:44 am

    Thinking of you-Good luck today!!! I know you’ll do awesome!

  • 22. mv49496  |  July 22, 2015 at 9:05 am

    So excited for you that you are thinking of adopting a dog. Very smart advice you are following about not getting a dog that looks like Moonlight. That way, her memories remain special with you and you can make new ones with your new dog, not to replace her, but to add to your good memory bank.
    Btw, I often get “in trouble” at the dentist too. I forget to floss. 😉
    Nice to hear KC and Shadow are together and your cute comment about goofballs. How is she doing? I liked your posts about her. Have a good day.
    ♥ MV

    Date: Wed, 22 Jul 2015 01:11:16 +0000

  • 23. cella  |  July 22, 2015 at 10:10 am

    Great post! You have some strong writing skills! Praying for you and your dental experience today; by the time you read these comments, you will be finished. 🙂 I think Moonlight would approve of your thoughts.

  • 24. Elizabeth  |  July 22, 2015 at 10:45 am

    Good luck today! I hate the dentist too, but I force myself to go every 6 months for a check-up and cleaning. Maybe all these visits will get you feeling more comfortable at the dentist. 🙂

    • 25. Puzzle  |  July 23, 2015 at 9:26 am

      I agree. 🙂

  • 26. bethanylest  |  July 22, 2015 at 11:24 am

    I think it is healthy that you are going to the dentist and also thinking about getting a new dog. You will always miss Moonlight, but you won’t forget her. You will have a different relationship with your new dog, but it won’t replace Moonlight. Check out the shelters because there are many dogs needing a home. Rescue organizations sometimes want you to live in a house with a yard and a fence. We get our pets from shelters and they have always turned out to be wonderful additions to the family.

  • 27. Foster Mom in Training  |  July 22, 2015 at 1:02 pm

    (((Hugs))) Good luck at the dentist. I am glad you are going back. You are brave and strong, LT.

    As for a new dog, do what your gut tells you to do. 😀 Moonlight will always be with you in your heart. You will never replace her memory. What you are doing is giving another pup a chance at a good life. (((Hugs))). I’m proud of you, LT.

  • 28. AnnMarie Johnson  |  July 22, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    While I love rescues, a shelter may be easier for you to be accepted. The rescues we’ve looked at have pretty stringent requirements whereas the shelters are a lot looser.

    I’ve had three cats since my Shmi Girl died. None of them replaced her, but I love having cats around and keep getting more. We’d have yet another one, but are waiting till after we move to lessen the number of changes the next cat has. Our dogs have died, too, and we cannot wait to have more (have to wait to move due to landlord requirements). Never a replacement, we just love having dogs in our lives, like you!

  • 29. Sarah  |  July 22, 2015 at 8:05 pm

    I am with the others who say to go to the pound. Even there, though, I have learned to lie and say that our cats will be inside cats. Some people are just nuts. Living in an apartment is one thing, but we live in the country and cats like being outside.

  • 30. ritalee8383  |  July 23, 2015 at 12:27 am

    Good to see your post LT. Lots of love coming your way when you pick a new little friend.

  • 31. Liesel  |  July 23, 2015 at 5:23 am

    ever thought of entering a profession that has to do with dogs? like vet or dog educator or dogwalker or dog hairdresser (sorry, I do not know much about those professions, so my examples might be inadequate)

  • 32. Puzzle  |  July 23, 2015 at 9:25 am

    Good Luck today! Focus of your breathing and you’ll get through it!

  • 33. Elise  |  July 23, 2015 at 11:51 am

    Most dentist offices have more than one hygienist. You could try asking for a different one, saying that the first one made you uncomfortable.
    I am so glad that you are looking at dogs. Looking is the first step. No one can ever replace Moonlight, but you can have another completely different dog to take a different place in your heart. Except most younger dogs like company. If you get one dog, you could consider getting two. That way they have company. Try going to a shelter to get them. You can go in and sit and talk to and play with dozens of dogs, and take home the ones that speak to you and say “I belong with you LT!”

  • 34. Connie Lettow  |  July 23, 2015 at 1:22 pm

    I don’t comment much, I know, but I look forward to reading your posts. You are so honest. I admire that in you a lot. I think you are one of the most interesting people that i don’t know. I think about the effect of childhood on adulthood more every day because of how you are able to present things. I wish I had known you when you were small. Or even know you now so I could ask you those random stray questions that pop up when I read about your life. I wish I had found your blog before you took some of your posts down. I don’t know why you had to take them down, but I can only imagine it had to do with some/a troll/s that got too close to home, and I’m sorry for that. Good luck in finding a new dog. And best of luck at the dentist as well.
    Connie Lettow

  • 35. Eve and Ella  |  July 24, 2015 at 6:52 am

    As always I love what you write. We still miss Romulus and Remus – two very old cats we took over caring for when the previous owner couldn’t. Like you we don’t want replacements, we just want cats.

  • 36. lee1978  |  July 25, 2015 at 7:34 pm

    LT I hope your appointment with the dentist went well. I was thinking about you but didn’t have time to write a comment. Well, I wrote one and the computer went wonky and didn’t post it and I didn’t have time to do it again.

    I wanted to say that I don’t think getting another dog would be “replacing” Moonlight. Your relationship with the new fur friend will be different. Just as special, but different. I had an Irish Setter that got me through some wicked hard times and when he died I thought we would never have another dog. We finally decided we needed to. Pets are so important for kids, especially kids who have had trauma. So we got a Brittany Spaniel. I could not face another Irish because I kept seeing my Feargus. But getting another breed opened me up to seeing all that is cute wonderful and goofy about our Blake.

  • 37. onemorewithus  |  July 26, 2015 at 9:58 pm

    Dearest LT,
    As you know well, in the world of fostercare we like to keep privacy, and that is why most of us use an alias. Well, I found out that my privacy has been jeopardized. So I’m taking my blog down.
    Now, because I’m connected to you through WordPress, it’s possible that, once I shut down my blog, I will no longer have access to yours. Not as Gloria, anyway.
    I will have to follow you through another email account, but you will see this one disappear first.
    Please, know that I’m not quitting your blog. I’m just changing my connection with it. I will let you know when I sign up to follow your blog under my new address, ok? I might still sign up as Gloria just so you know who I am 😘

  • 38. Gloria:)  |  July 27, 2015 at 12:14 am

    Alright! Here I am, Gloria:) I think I got this all figured out, not sure though. Hopefully I will get notifications of your next posts.
    Hugs, LT! Write more soon!

  • 39. Claudine  |  July 27, 2015 at 11:14 pm

    LT, I hope your dental visit wasn’t too terrible. I am glad you have a supportive dentist and vet, not to mention Dr. Val. It sounds like you have a lot of trustworthy experts in your life who are looking out for your best interests. Your vet has wise advice about not getting a Moonlight-alike. Because, as you know, there’s no replacing such a special connection. All you can do is open your heart to a new dog when you’re ready and when you find the right match.

    My first dog was very special to me, too. I had her for 15 years. We went through really tough times together and she was my unconditional best friend through it all. It took me a long time to open my heart to the idea of another dog. And when I did, I got a rescue. She is the total opposite of my first dog in personality. And at first, that threw me because it wasn’t what I expected or was used to. But when I look back on it now, she was exactly the kind of dog I needed during the time when she came into my life. With her, I went through different kinds of tough times, and she was there for me in exactly the ways I needed. Each soul has something beautiful to share. Trust that you’ll connect with exactly the one that’s right for the next phase of your life — even if it takes a while to get close with the new dog.

    My dog now, the rescue, is a Belgian malinois, and the breed rescue organization requires that all potential owners have a fenced-in yard with a 5′ fence. But that is because her breed is often a high-energy jumping breed. A volunteer from the organization came to my house to make sure I had a yard like I said I did on the application, and they met with me and talked with me a little bit, chatted with me about dogs and stuff. It was low-pressure, and I liked that they care so much that they are thorough about where they place each dog. If you’re interested in adopting through rescue, I think you should go for it. If you want to make sure you meet their criteria in advance, you can call the organizations and find out what the requirements are for your home/outdoor space/dog experience level/etc. They will be glad to tell you.

    Good luck with everything you’re doing. It sounds really positive.

  • 40. s  |  August 5, 2015 at 4:13 pm

    Are you ok? I’ve really loved following this blog the last couple of months, and always look forward to the next post. I’m hoping to start fostering this year. I’m so grateful for all your wisdom about it. I’ve also been really impressed as you’ve realized you can care for you just as you cared for your animals. You are another animal in need of care. You can provide that. On the religion question, I wanted to write that “love God and love your neighbor as yourself” means that when we care for ourselves as if we were someone else (that is, not allowing the negative thoughts toward the self that we’d never think or say about someone else), we are loving God. That’s it. Be gentle.

    • 41. manyofus1980  |  July 19, 2017 at 8:05 pm

      hi. I am not a foster kid but I am an abuse survivor with did and ptsd and I blog over at I was lt’s friend. I haven’t heard from her in a while, months, overa year, I think she may have killed herself. x

  • 42. ritalee8383  |  August 7, 2015 at 11:06 pm

    Thinking of you LT. It’s been awhile.

  • 43. coccomuffin  |  August 14, 2015 at 9:06 am

    Hey LT, how are you? Hope everything is alright…
    …Thinking of you ♡

  • 44. s00147954  |  August 14, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    Hope you’re ok LT, haven’t heard from you in a little while. 🙂

  • 45. dinah1007  |  August 17, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    I am not worried about you and the dentist, you will do just fine. I am sure that whatever dog ends up with you will be one lucky dog!

  • 46. Gloria:)  |  August 20, 2015 at 2:05 am

    Checking in… Hope all is good!

  • 47. The Bair Foundation  |  August 20, 2015 at 3:56 pm

    Checking up on you, wondering how your teeth are and who the lucky dog is??

  • 48. ritalee8383  |  August 23, 2015 at 11:22 pm

    I check in a lot and am always hoping to see a post from you. Thinking of you LT and wishing you the best.

  • 49. jessithelibrarian  |  August 27, 2015 at 11:11 pm

    Hey LT, it has been a while since we’ve heard from you. Hoping everything is okay….

  • 50. ritalee8383  |  September 2, 2015 at 11:37 pm

    Hey LT surely you are back from the dentist by now.


  • 51. eyispp  |  September 7, 2015 at 5:11 am

    Thank you for your blog. My husband and I are just starting as foster parents, with our first children coming next week. You have given me a different perspective on the path we are starting, one that I appreciate, and some actual real pointers, things that have changed instantly how I am thinking about this journey we are starting. So thank you.

  • 52. s  |  September 7, 2015 at 2:25 pm

    Does anyone know how to get ahold of LT, to let us know if she’s ok?

  • 53. coccomuffin  |  September 8, 2015 at 3:43 pm

    LT, are you ok?? Thinking of you… ♡

  • 54. toinfinityandbiond  |  September 8, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    Hey LT, you may not realize how many people care for you but there are a lot of people like me who get worried when we don’t see any updates for a while! Please give us a sign you are holding in there! ❤

  • 55. manyofus1980  |  September 12, 2015 at 12:34 am

    thinking of you lt. hope your ok, and safe! XX

  • 56. ritalee8383  |  September 13, 2015 at 2:05 am

    I get so worried about you when I don’t see my little LT posting.

  • 57. jpirog2013  |  September 13, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    OK, LT, let’s get with it! Way past time for a new posting, I think we all agree!

  • 58. Tee  |  September 13, 2015 at 8:09 pm

    Just thinking about you and wishing you a good day today and everyday. We miss your wisdom LT.

  • 59. songsforsilences  |  September 14, 2015 at 10:15 pm

    Thinking of you LT ❤

  • 60. LyndaC  |  September 15, 2015 at 3:58 pm

    LT, I miss you!

  • 61. Crystal  |  September 16, 2015 at 9:46 am

    Saw this and thought of you:

    Human Hungry Hippos game! 🙂

    You make a difference in the world LT, Thank You for helping me be a better foster Mom!


  • 62. coccomuffin  |  September 19, 2015 at 9:13 am

    LT, where are you?
    Just like others I’m very worried about you. Wondering if you are all right…
    I hope nothing bad happened to you and that you’re just busy, going on with your life and taking good care of yourself (and of your teeth as well). ♡

  • 63. claudine  |  September 22, 2015 at 5:17 pm

    Thinking of you, LT, and hoping all is well with you.

  • 64. s00147954  |  September 28, 2015 at 6:01 am

    LT I miss you! we all do.

  • 65. ritalee8383  |  September 28, 2015 at 4:05 pm

    I hope you’re ok.

  • 66. songsforsilences  |  September 29, 2015 at 1:09 am

    Hoping you’re doing okay, LT. Hugs ❤

  • 67. ritalee8383  |  September 29, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    I don’t know you in real life but I worry about you. I want the best for you. You are an inspiration to me LT. You matter to a lot of people. Please know that.

  • 68. sageplant  |  October 2, 2015 at 1:51 am

    Sorry, it’s been awhile…what are you doing? Teeth, and a new companion perhaps? Dogs are so therapeutic , they can bring a great smile and keep us from being alone…we get to have our sons dog a lot…she’s a pit bull, but a sweet one.
    I’m still helping with “the kids”…drop us a line if you will…peace

  • 69. ms. musings  |  October 2, 2015 at 9:20 am

    it’s been awhile LT and i’m hoping you are doing OK and that the dentist went good. please keep us updated as we all care about you. i hope you find a new companion dog. pets really are the best therapy and worth going through the loss at the end for all of the great things they bring to your life.

  • 70. Jen  |  October 2, 2015 at 9:37 am

    Hi LT, I really look forward to seeing a new post from you soon. I love reading your writing (I think you should compile your blog into a book!) and your insight really helps me be the best foster parent I can be. Peace and blessings.

  • 71. themooglet  |  October 7, 2015 at 6:06 am

    I echo that you should think about turning this into a book. Especially the sections you have written for social workers and fostercares. You could do this as an ebook and charge a small fee, there is lots of help on producing these out there on the web. Or if you wanted to produce a printed book then maybe Kickstarter would be a good place to start.

    Hope all is good with you and look forward to seeing a new post soon. x

  • 72. Jill Russell  |  October 8, 2015 at 11:58 am

    I am doing a qualitative research paper on foster kids who age out of the foster system. Do you mind if I use your blog in my paper?

  • 73. ritalee8383  |  October 8, 2015 at 11:04 pm

    Hmmmmm. I always hope when I click on your blog I see a new post. Starting to get worried about you.

  • 74. Stephanie  |  October 11, 2015 at 10:27 am

    Hi LT- Been thinking of you and hoping you’re doing ok. Miss your writing and hearing about what is going on with you.

  • 75. Susan  |  October 11, 2015 at 1:27 pm

    You once asked about christians and suffering. Why doesn’t God intervene to stop abuse from happening? That question still haunts me because it’s a very hard one. But I read something today that might help if you’re interested. Here’s the link: Why do good things happen to bad people? (

    For what it’s worth, I admire your ability to speak so thoughtfully and clearly about what your experience in the foster care system was and what it’s like for others. I sincerely care for your well-being and hope that you are doing OK. And I hope that you’ve found a new dog. 🙂

  • 76. Annie  |  October 13, 2015 at 1:26 pm

    I really miss you, LT. I hope you are doing ok, though I know you probably aren’t. I hope you come back to us soon.

  • 77. coccomuffin  |  October 16, 2015 at 6:05 am

    LT it’s been a super long while since you posted last and just like many others I’m worried about you. I’m far from being a religious person but my heart prays for you in its own way, it prays that everything is all right, prays that you didn’t harm yourself.
    I hope you’re just busy taking care of yourself, studying, working, having fun (maybe with a new dog), doing stuff… I don’t want to think the worst and keep hoping you’re all right and you’ll get back blogging soon. LT, you’re truly missed! ♡

  • 78. ritalee8383  |  October 18, 2015 at 1:49 am

    So worried.

  • 79. songsforsilences  |  October 19, 2015 at 3:24 pm

    I’m thinking of you and wishing you comfort and peace, LT. xo

  • 80. s00147954  |  October 22, 2015 at 7:39 am

    Wherever you are out there LT, I hope your’e doing OK. Your blog crew are still here for you if you ever decide to come back and tell us what you’ve been up to but in the meantime, Please be OK x

  • 81. sageplant  |  October 23, 2015 at 2:50 am

    Hi, hope to hear from you..don’t be gone so long..what’s going on?
    Are you dealing with health stuff, dentist? Are you gathering some more truthful words to keep other souls informed and maybe helped a little..
    Either way, I’ll be looking forward to knowing you are still writing and sharing your thoughts..

  • 82. gemini  |  October 26, 2015 at 1:38 pm

    I am in awe of you and your gifts. For one who has apparently received so little in this world you, in turn, have given so much to so many. May you always have hope.

  • 83. ritalee8383  |  October 26, 2015 at 4:45 pm

    Every time I click on your blog and see no new update my heart drops a little bit. It’s going on 13 weeks LT. People are worried about you. Do you think you could just even drop one line on your blog? It would mean a lot.

  • 84. onemorewithus  |  October 28, 2015 at 1:34 pm

    True… It’s only because we care. And you’ve shared so much with us, so we imagine lots of things that could be happening. If you don’t feel like sharing much, that’s totally okay. One quick line just to put our hearts at ease would do.
    Hugs, dear one

    • 85. s00147954  |  November 2, 2015 at 6:21 am

      Agreed xx we miss you LT!

  • 86. Pam  |  October 29, 2015 at 3:30 pm

    Listen kiddo, we are really worried about you. Can you please just let us know if you are alive, if you are safe, if you need help? I don’t know if you can believe this or not, but you do have a whole slew of folks here worried about you and wanting to be your friend. Please?

  • 87. songsforsilences  |  October 31, 2015 at 11:56 am

    LT, please be alive! You are so important to me and to so many of us here. The world is a better place with you in it. Just let us know you’re alive.
    Sending you love.

  • 88. jamz9999  |  November 2, 2015 at 2:35 pm

    I hope you are okay, LT. We have all learned so much from you. You have helped me understand my daughters so much more.

  • 89. ritalee8383  |  November 5, 2015 at 10:39 pm

    LT I looked through your blog posts because I knew there was a longer time between posts than this latest lag. So I guess until you hit past the 5 month mark I will hold tight. But please know this. I check in all the time and I look for you. I worry about you. A lot of people care for you. You are important. You have a lot of wisdom that comes from pain and people are listening to you. You are making a difference. I wish you well LT.

  • 90. toinfinityandbiond  |  November 6, 2015 at 10:44 am

    Hey LT,

    I could desperately use your advice right now. I’ve talked/vented to my support group but honestly, I keep thinking that there is no way they could help the way you could.

    Saturday, Nov 7th (tomorrow, if you happen to see this today) is the one year anniversary of our seven year old foster son coming to live with us.

    We are his first foster family ever, other than a woman from church that he stayed with for a few weeks after ‘the night it all fell apart’ and originally we had his two older sisters at well. It was in everyone’s best interest (for safety reasons) to move the girls and in May they were placed with a family we are friends with so we can keep regular contact. Reunification is still the goal but its questionable how likely that is. Next court date is in March, we’ll know more then.

    We are dealing with awful behavior and I know he is testing us but how do we prove to him we aren’t going to give up on him? The big problem is that he didn’t just test us a little and go back to ‘normal’ – he’s escalating his behaviors more and more when we’re not giving him the ‘satisfaction’ of him being right. He started cursing at us this week (totally new) and has been slamming doors, kicking the wall, lying… its been bad, and I’m scared its just going to keep escalating. How do we convince him that he isn’t going anywhere before we start seeing such a level of behavior that we DO have to actually consider a plan B? I don’t want to disrupt, I love him dearly, but he’s backing us into a corner and becoming less safe and I’m scared for him. What can we do? How do we get him to stop testing us?

    • 91. Gloria  |  November 6, 2015 at 2:15 pm

      Hi! Our foster son came to us at 7. He also had behavioral issues, so I feel I can understand your dilemma a little 😉 We too came to a point where we truly thought things were not going to work out… Today I sit here, two weeks away from adoption. My son is almost irecognizable because of how much he’s healed. His therapist already bumped him to sessions every other week (we’ve been in every week). He mistrusted us so much and told me once he would never call me mom, and there were many things like that too. Now he embraces us and call us mom and dad and is SO excited for his adoption.
      I know I am not LT, but maybe I can help until she comes back (she’s helped me SO MUCH!).
      I have a question for you. Is he in therapy and are you attending therapy sessions with him?
      That could give me a little background as to where you guys are at in his therapeutic advances.
      There are many ways to deal with this often “miscued” behavior.
      Could you share a little more?
      With that, remember this isn’t easy, and what you feel is very valid. You have come so far already. Keep strong!

      • 92. toinfinityandbiond  |  November 9, 2015 at 10:42 am

        Thanks for responding!

        He is in therapy once a week and my husband (who has a more flexible work schedule) goes with him. He first went through PCIT [Parent-Child Interaction Therapy] then after a particularly bad incident we ended up at a mental health facility for an evaluation and they gave us the recommendation he needed for Intensive In Home Therapy. The behaviors quickly became less intense, not because of therapy but because the root of the situation was his sisters being moved and when he finally processed all of that things calmed down significantly. He ‘graduated’ the in-home therapy and is now doing PTSD Trauma Narrative.

        We actually tried something new with him on Friday and asked him if he wanted a ‘reset’ and we could pretend it was his first day in care. Bad behaviors of the week were ‘forgotten’ and we went over house rules again and talked to him like he was brand new. Instead of “Okay dude, shower time!” it was “Its time to take a shower so lets go upstairs so you can brush your teeth, then take a shower. Once you put on PJs you can play in your room for a little bit or read until its time for bed.” Stuff like that. He ate it up and has done a complete 180 since then, although he was sick over the weekend so some of that may have been exhaustion and a desire to be cuddled, lol.

        Honestly what it really boils down to – at least what I think it does – is that its been a year of not knowing what will happen next (with the added complication of mom having another baby, fathered by a terrible person in his past) and he no longer wants to go home but is super conflicted about his feelings.

        • 93. Gloria  |  November 9, 2015 at 2:18 pm

          “Honestly what it really boils down to – at least what I think it does – is that its been a year of not knowing what will happen next” This phrase could have been written by me 2 years ago 🙂 I completely understand what you are saying and believe you are right on. We can never underestimate how hard it is for a child to not know what’s coming next.
          Being that his brain has so much going on, it is hard for him to retain memories, especially positive ones, so you may remind him of facts. Like, point to the calendar together and show him how long it has been since he’s been in your home, how you have not quit, not even in the tough days. Help bring to his immediate mind that he is not lost but is and has been safe for a while.
          I would tell my son of the Kangaroo story (I made it up, so you can build as you go too), how he lived in his mamma’s pouch but the pouch was so loose. He kept bumping out of it and that hurt him so (this was based on my son’s own story, but you can make it up according to yours)… But one day another mamma Kangaroo came along, and now baby kanga lived in that pouch. The pouch seemed hard at first because baby had learned that mamma’s pouches were loose and scary… Though there wa something different about this new pouch. Baby never bumped out of it, no matter what. Baby Kanga learned each day that this new pouch was very comfortable and he even relaxed in it.
          I would tell my son this story, adding and changing according to his stage in his healing. The point was to show him that though his life had been unstable before, it was now safe and would continue to get safer… AND predictable. He saw his life on that little kanga… So if the kanga eventually felt safe, he would feel safe too. You can add adventures and other characters too, whatever is the situation right now… But always, showing him that his new pouch is his safe place, your pouch 🙂
          Eventually he would help me tell the story or even ask for it. I would acknowledge his fears and how scary things could be, but I offered the facts and some hope that all would be okay. It is a long and arduous work, but together you two can build a deep connection.
          There is a lot of sides to having a hurt kiddo, I know, so little by little, moment by moment, one Kangaroo story at a time 🙂
          Our son also wanted to stay but his fear of having us quit was so large that he didn’t want to stay… Very conflicting.
          Try to see what’s being said behind the behavior and not at the behavior itself. Remember that a very scared and hurt bird will try to fight you if it feels vulnerable, even if it desperately needs your help. Your calm but firm hand will prove itself by showing that this particular little bird is safe to jump on it 😉

          Keep asking for help, venting and being easy on yourself. This is a tough walk, but you can do it! 🙂

  • 95. sciencedino  |  November 6, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    Hey LT – I hope everything is ok and that your long absence here is because you’re too happy and busy in the real world. I’d love to hear an update! Things are rough with our fost-adopted 11 yo right now, but we are in it for the long haul with him, though mental illness is rough for anyone, much less a little kid with a difficult life history. You give me hope that he can make it through too!

  • 96. R  |  November 7, 2015 at 11:30 am

    Surely the right way to brush your teeth (or anything) is to do what feels good for you? Maybe a combination of circles and whatever movements work best?

    Maybe the particular breed that Moonlight was is a good match for your particular personality or temperament; so getting another one of that breed is not trying to ‘replace Moonlight’ just going with what works for you. Whatever the vet says. Sometimes the professionals don’t actually know best…

    Here is a website you may find helpful with regards to your teeth (no I am not affiliated in any way):

  • 97. themooglet  |  November 16, 2015 at 3:56 am

    Hi, Hope you are well and just too busy (maybe with a new pup) to check in here. Sending you lots of love.

  • 98. ritalee8383  |  November 20, 2015 at 10:44 pm

    Hi LT. Thinking of you.

  • 99. s00147954  |  November 21, 2015 at 8:34 am

    Just checking in, still no LT :/ come back soon!

  • 100. songsforsilences  |  November 23, 2015 at 3:39 pm

    thinking of you ❤

  • 101. coccomuffin  |  November 26, 2015 at 5:53 am

    Always thinking of you LT, wherever you are take good care of yourself girl ((♡))

  • 102. songsforsilences  |  November 29, 2015 at 8:45 pm

    If I ever see a skinny blond-haired young woman in a long sleeved shirt when I walk down the street, I make sure to smile at her, because you never know, I tell myself – it could be LT, and I love her!
    So basically because of your awesomeness I have definitely smiled at a bunch of strangers. Lol. 🙂

    This is just to say hi and that I’m thinking of you, as always, and hoping to any and all higher powers that you are alive.

    The only other thing I can think of to do:
    I know you’ve gotten screwed with email in the past, so I don’t blame you for not wanting to email blog peeps ever again – but in case you ever change your mind, just want you to know that I’m here (and am a good listener).


  • 106. s  |  December 1, 2015 at 8:04 pm

    Missing you, LT. I cited you in my dissertation on trauma healing.

  • 107. Gloria  |  December 2, 2015 at 6:59 pm

    Hey LT, Gloria here.
    I brought my blog up again 🙂 It is crazy how we go back and forth on blogs… I get it if you are just taking a break from yours.
    And I have news too. We have adopted our foster son, the one that I have talked about for so long. From the start, your blog helped me to understand him better.
    I loved the sweet comment someone left here, about how she/he now smiles at people that fit your description because it just may be LT. SO SWEET!
    If you can, drop a line.
    I too hope you are alive.
    I wonder if you have allowed someone in your life know of this blog so that maybe that person can come and tell us about you, if you don’t feel like writing anymore.
    It has been six months…
    Anyway, sending you cheers and waiting to here from you again.

  • 108. ritalee8383  |  December 9, 2015 at 11:29 pm

    Hi LT. I hope you’re hanging in there. It would be really wonderful & kind of you if you could just write one word so everyone knows that you are still around. I know everyone is just as worried as I am.

  • 110. claudine  |  December 17, 2015 at 4:05 pm

    Thinking of you, LT, and I hope you’re doing well.

  • 111. ritalee8383  |  December 21, 2015 at 11:08 pm

    It’s been five months today since you posted LT. Do you think you could give us all a little Christmas present and let us know that you are ok?

  • 112. coccomuffin  |  December 24, 2015 at 11:20 am

    Merry Christmas LT, you’re alway in my heart! ((♡))

  • 113. Laura  |  December 24, 2015 at 10:36 pm

    Merry Christmas! I don’t think I’ve ever commented, but I think about you often. 🙂

  • 114. jamz9999  |  December 24, 2015 at 11:29 pm

    Merry Christmas, LT. I miss you. Hope you are doing well.

  • 115. Steohanje  |  December 25, 2015 at 10:50 am

    Merry Christmas LT. I’ve been thinking of you a lot. You are a strong, beautiful woman and I pray today you have peace, hope and Love.

  • 116. ritalee8383  |  December 25, 2015 at 12:21 pm

    Been thinking of you today LT. Wishing you well.

  • 117. ritalee8383  |  December 31, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    It’s New Years Eve LT. I’m wondering how you are doing.

  • 118. coccomuffin  |  January 3, 2016 at 7:49 am

    LT, happy New Year darling! Hope you’re taking good care of yourself ((♡))

  • 119. s00147954  |  January 4, 2016 at 4:24 am

    Happy new year LT! I hope 2016 turns out to be a better year for you than 2015 was.

    Come back soon! 🙂

  • 120. Christine  |  January 9, 2016 at 1:18 pm

    LT, I hope you’re okay!

    I keep coming back to this post and checking the comments to see if maybe someone has heard from you, and you’re still with us.

    Thinking of you regularly, and hoping you know how much good you have brought to the worlds of so many people!

  • 121. songsforsilences  |  January 9, 2016 at 11:48 pm

    Thinking of you, as usual, LT! Hope you are taking care of yourself. Please let us know you’re still around.

  • 122. Foster Mom in Training  |  January 10, 2016 at 6:51 pm

    LT, I pray you are alive and well. I pray for peace in your heart and mind. I pray you are safe.

  • 123. onemorewithus  |  January 12, 2016 at 6:07 pm

    Please, if anybody knows of LT, leave a note for us! We just want to know if she is ok, alive somewhere. LT, if you are getting these, just send a line, please.

  • 124. ritalee8383  |  January 12, 2016 at 9:05 pm

    I wish I knew if you were ok. 😦

  • 125. manyofus1980  |  January 20, 2016 at 6:18 pm

    dear sweet lt i miss you. i think of you often. its just not the same without you. your raw honesty and great sense of humour, i miss that. i wish i knew if you were safe. please, if you can let us know your ok? we all love and miss you lt. when i say we i am speaking for the blog community and of course for myself and our internal did system. to any of lts subscribers, if you’d like to read a blog of a trauma survivor who has dissociative identity disorder and writes about healing and psychotherapy and my appointments with my psychiatrist i’d love it if you would drop by. currently we are in the hospital and could use all the support we can get. i know lt wouldnt mind if some of her readers supported us because she was just such a kind gentle soul. she would do anything for anyone. thanks lt for all you’ve given the world. my blog should any of lt’s readers like to follow or comment for support is xxx carol anne of many of us system

  • 126. Sianski  |  January 22, 2016 at 6:50 am

    Hey LT, I drop by here a lot, looking for you & im worried that it’s been so long. I’ve been reading your blog for a while & it helped me decide to be a foster carer for a teenage girl who was in residential care (we’re in Australia which is a bit different to the US). Since joining our family, she has returned to school, started bathing, gotten her health & teeth sorted out and she was selected to represent our state in her chosen sport. Whatever else you’ve done, you’ve been a big part of changing her life, because I probably wouldn’t have become a foster mum if it weren’t for your blog. You matter so much, to so many people.
    Peace x

  • 127. s00147954  |  January 28, 2016 at 9:51 am

    I keep coming back here just for any sign of LT – a comment, a new post. I’m worried that its been over six months now without any word – I know LT has taken breaks from writing before but not for this long, from what I can remember. Has anyone else heard anything?

  • 128. Homaira  |  January 28, 2016 at 9:13 pm

    I keep checking back too… I really hope she’s all right.

  • 129. ritalee8383  |  January 29, 2016 at 8:44 pm

    LT everytime I click on your blog I hope I don’t see “back to the dentist and back to dogs” and I’m let down each and every time because I’m hoping THIS time it will be different and I will see that you posted again.

    I don’t know if you realize just how much you mean to some people. A lot of people I’m sure are going through tough times and seek you out because they know that you get the pain. Your words and input was always a fresh breath of air. You are wise beyond your years and you offer so much to the world. Please come back.

  • 130. jpirog2013  |  February 7, 2016 at 9:58 pm

    Ditto for me, please let us know you’re OK.

  • 131. songsforsilences  |  February 10, 2016 at 3:12 pm

    Thinking of you LT!

  • 132. jencas025  |  February 18, 2016 at 7:51 am

    Thinking of you- You haven’t posted in a while. I pray you are doing better.

  • 133. ritalee8383  |  February 18, 2016 at 8:39 pm

    Missing you LT.

  • 134. Connie  |  February 19, 2016 at 9:32 am

    I just found your blog. I haven’t even read them all yet, and I’m already sad because they stopped 7 months ago. PLEASE DON’T STOP. My 9 year old step daughter has Reactive Attachment Disorder and YOU are the only only only person who has EVER helped me understand it. You ARE helping people, LT, and I believe you were also helping yourself in the process.

  • 135. Connie  |  February 19, 2016 at 12:38 pm

    crazy, i know….. but check this out. So I googled, “Where is LT?” lol…. and this came up
    looks fairly benign and could be ANYBODY, but the last comment was about the time she stopped posting here. The comment was from a woman called Nomad. When you click on her profile, her other posts are riddled with posted about animals and adoption and children. Just the kind of person THIS LT would have connected with. I think we should inform the national media that we are all concerned. 🙂 no seriously…..

  • 136. s00147954  |  February 24, 2016 at 3:12 am

    We miss you dearly LT!

  • 137. ritalee8383  |  February 24, 2016 at 11:09 pm

    Please post something LT. Anything. Just a comment to this thread somewhere so that we know that you are OK. I’m really worried about you and it’s so upsetting. Please.

  • 138. dinah1007  |  March 1, 2016 at 5:28 pm

    Missing you.

  • 139. ritalee8383  |  March 2, 2016 at 11:20 pm

    I’m just so sad every time I come here. We’re all worried about you LT. Please post something, anything.

  • 140. coccomuffin  |  March 8, 2016 at 10:56 am

    Thinking of you LT ((♡))
    I really hope that you are alive and doing well!

  • 141. jessithelibrarian  |  March 8, 2016 at 11:06 pm

    Just popping in to check on you. I hope you are okay.

  • 142. Stephanie  |  March 8, 2016 at 11:24 pm

    Well… I think we are going on 7+ months without a post babe. Hope you are fighting for yourself. My husband and I are looking to begin Foster parenting classes. Hope we don’t suck. Love reading your stuff. Xoxo

  • 143. Nancy  |  March 15, 2016 at 4:41 pm

    I miss you. I am hoping you are ok. I am trying to make a difference from where I sit.

  • 144. ritalee8383  |  March 16, 2016 at 11:33 pm

    I’m hoping you’re alive.

  • 145. Connie  |  March 18, 2016 at 9:43 am

    Hi LT. I’m sorry if something turned you off to posting for a while. I sure wish you would post something again soon. You have such a great following. I’m hoping the best for you.

  • 146. manyofus1980  |  March 18, 2016 at 5:28 pm

    LT are you ok? I miss you. Please say hey let us know your alive and doing well please? XXX

  • 147. Liza  |  March 18, 2016 at 10:19 pm

    I just wish I knew if you were alive. I miss you, LT, and I hope you’re okay.

  • 148. s00147954  |  March 20, 2016 at 8:29 am

    Miss you LT.

  • 149. themooglet  |  March 22, 2016 at 8:21 am

    Hey LT – We’re all worried that your last posts showed you were having a hard time, and then you disappear. We hope you are ok and just taking a break. x

  • 150. Crystal  |  March 23, 2016 at 11:25 am

    I think of you all the time LT, and hope that you are well. You have helped me be a better foster Mom, and I appreciate that so much!

  • 151. ritalee8383  |  March 23, 2016 at 7:43 pm

    I do hope you got another dog LT. A fur companion to go on hikes with. To snuggle up with you and to be your friend. Thinking of you.

  • 152. coccomuffin  |  March 28, 2016 at 4:49 am

    Happy Easter LT! I’m thinking of you, hoping you’re well and in good company and that maybe you’ve got a new fur friend. ((♡))

  • 153. s00147954  |  March 29, 2016 at 9:19 am

    Hope you pigged out on chocolate over easter LT, you deserve it 🙂

  • 154. ritalee8383  |  April 1, 2016 at 10:22 pm


  • 155. Carla  |  April 7, 2016 at 12:34 am

    I have been reading your blog and learning a lot about foster children’s feelings. I have been thinking about becoming a foster mom. I am worrying I won’t know what to do if a situation comes up such as many of the ones you have described. Would a hug and just listening be the right thing to do? I am a very good listener. I was thinking about fostering teens because they seem to be the children no one wants to take. Everyone seems to want babies and toddlers. I was just wondering if you are ok because there are no recent posts. So, are you ok? Thank you for your helpful thoughts and revealing insights. I have learned so much. I am sorry for the hell you have been through.

  • 156. Liza  |  April 8, 2016 at 1:57 am

    hope you’re hanging in there, LT. ❤

    • 157. Liza  |  April 8, 2016 at 1:58 am

      By the way i’m the same person as “songsforsilences” but I don’t know why sometimes it comes out one way or another!

  • 158. sageplant  |  April 8, 2016 at 7:20 pm

    What a long silence…did you leave on purpose are you sorting things out and can’t be here…wish you are finding enough for a better day…in any case….everyone is part of love…everyone…

  • 159. claudine  |  April 10, 2016 at 11:22 pm

    I hope all is well with you, LT.

  • 160. momma2abby  |  April 16, 2016 at 9:03 am

    Hey- Hope things are going well for you. The kiddo is doing well. She is in aerobics, voice lessons, and horseback riding. This is a lot for her to handle in addition to therapy, life, trauma anniversaries etc.

  • 161. ritalee8383  |  April 19, 2016 at 9:40 pm

    Hey LT I’m always seeing your little icon for you blog on my sidebar and wondering how you are doing. Wishing you the best.

  • 162. sageplant  |  April 27, 2016 at 2:58 am

    Hi….thinking of you….peace

  • 163. s00147954  |  April 29, 2016 at 10:09 am

    I wonder you’re up to these days LT. I know you’re OK out there, I can feel it. DO you think you might ever come back to blogging one day? Even just to let us know how things are going for you.

    Hope you’re well!

  • 164. ritalee8383  |  May 1, 2016 at 1:26 am

    Hey LT even if you don’t feel like blogging anymore do you think you could just leave a comment in here so that we know that you are ok?

  • 165. Those Interrupted  |  May 2, 2016 at 9:19 am

    I really hope that you’re doing well, LT.

  • 166. coccomuffin  |  May 6, 2016 at 7:25 am

    Thinking of you LT!
    Wherever you are I hope you are healthy and happy. ((♡))

  • 167. toinfinityandbiond  |  May 6, 2016 at 2:15 pm

    I miss you terribly LT. You don’t even know me, and you probably don’t believe that, but I think of you all the time. I can’t believe its been almost a year since you last posted. I’m worried about you. I sincerely hope you are still alive and out there somewhere, but no matter what I hope more than anything that you have found peace and joy wherever you are. ❤

  • 168. sageplant  |  May 12, 2016 at 12:18 am

    Well….it’s hard to not know how LT is doing. We all care and send love. I hope you have peace and would love to know you are well.

  • 169. ritalee8383  |  May 28, 2016 at 10:39 pm

    Hi LT. So worried.

  • 170. dhardawa  |  June 2, 2016 at 12:20 pm

    I’m so sad and afraid something has happened to LT. I was hoping my email address had just gotten dropped from the list somehow, but that doesn’t seen to be the case. I really miss her.

  • 173. jpirog2013  |  June 8, 2016 at 4:39 am

    It’s almost a year, LT, and we continue to come back in hopes to see something from you. Hope all is well and you can let us know what you’re doing.

  • 174. s00147954  |  June 11, 2016 at 6:54 am

    LT its been so long. I really miss getting email notifications of your new posts, they used to really brighten my days (and a lot of other people’s too).

  • 175. LifeBehindMyWalls  |  June 14, 2016 at 2:26 am

    I hope yiu are doing well. We haven’t heard from you in a while. I am also a product of foster homes and could really talk to you about what’s going on. If your need to talk personally outside of blogs and have someone who can relate to each of your stories, I am here. Take care..


  • 176. ritalee8383  |  June 18, 2016 at 1:28 am

    Hey LT just letting you know I’m thinking about you.

  • 177. s  |  June 23, 2016 at 6:43 pm

    LT, I don’t know where you are, but I was thinking about you this week and wanted to let you know. You matter. You are important. You are a gift. I hope you’re doing ok.

  • 178. dinah1007  |  June 25, 2016 at 9:42 pm

    Missing you

  • 179. just an unwanted girl  |  June 29, 2016 at 11:24 pm

    I miss you 😦 you gave me so much hope, I’m a foster kid and you gave me hope and i have been checking your blog and every time i see you haven’t posted anything i almost cry because i am so worried you’re not here anymore 😦 you are the strongest person ever and you inspired me, you gave me lots of hope in all this hoplessness and if you are gone then why shouldnt i go 😦

    • 180. Liza  |  August 22, 2016 at 1:20 am

      You shouldn’t go because look how many people who don’t even know LT and keep checking on her even though she hasn’t written in over a year. You matter to the world.

    • 181. toinfinityandbiond  |  September 6, 2016 at 4:01 pm

      Oh no no! Please don’t think that way! You are important and you matter! I don’t even know you and I’m scared reading your message and worrying I’m too late.

      Look how many people love LT and miss her and worry about her. You may not realize it but you matter to people too.

      Please please reach out to me if you want someone to talk to (my email is my user name here


  • 182. manyofus1980  |  July 1, 2016 at 1:12 pm

    thinking of you LT. You are missed. Hoping you are ok. xoxo

  • 183. Mandy  |  July 1, 2016 at 5:32 pm

    Thinking of you LT

  • 184. Morgan  |  July 11, 2016 at 7:29 pm

    I have been thinking of you for nearly a year. You have inspired this: Hope you are well.

  • 185. ritalee8383  |  July 13, 2016 at 1:58 pm

    Hi LT. It’s going to be a year next week since you’ve posted. It would be such a kindness to us all if you would check in.

  • 186. dinah1007  |  July 15, 2016 at 11:53 pm

    Will we ever hear from you again? Miss your blog and your sense of humor and you.

  • 187. dinah1007  |  July 20, 2016 at 11:00 pm

    It has been a year since your last post. Can’t believe how much I miss reading your blog. Hope that you have moved on to happier pursuits.

  • 188. ritalee8383  |  July 21, 2016 at 12:56 pm

    It’s a year today since we haven’t heard from you LT. Thinking of you and as always wishing you well.

  • 189. coccomuffin  |  July 29, 2016 at 8:46 am

    I miss you LT ((♡)). Hope you’re alive and happy.

  • 190. ritalee8383  |  August 7, 2016 at 9:46 pm

    I will always wonder what happened to you LT. I probably will check in for the rest of my life in the hopes of seeing a post by you. Always wishing you the best.

    • 191. Homaira  |  August 7, 2016 at 9:49 pm


    • 192. s00147954  |  August 14, 2016 at 1:03 pm

      Me also. Every day I wait for a notification that LT has written something new 😦

    • 193. jpirog2013  |  October 19, 2016 at 11:04 pm

      Same for me, will be checking the rest of my life.

  • 194. cc  |  August 15, 2016 at 8:47 am

    I miss you LT, how are you?

  • 195. Liza  |  August 22, 2016 at 1:14 am

    I miss you LT. Please come back just to say you’re alive.

  • 196. Mckmama  |  August 29, 2016 at 10:07 pm

    Oh how I wish you would let us all know that you are ok.

  • 197. coccomuffin  |  September 1, 2016 at 2:32 pm

    How are you darling? You’re truly missed!

  • 198. ritalee8383  |  September 2, 2016 at 10:28 am

    It would be wonderful to hear something from you LT.

  • 199. Stephanie  |  September 8, 2016 at 12:11 am

    Thinking of you. Praying you’re ok.

  • 200. johnjstanton  |  September 8, 2016 at 4:13 pm

    I am looking forward to another post from you, even if it is a short one. I am sending positive thoughts your way!

  • 201. themooglet  |  September 12, 2016 at 6:49 am

    Still thinking of you, and hoping you are ok.

    Does anyone on here, or reading this know LT? Can you confirm LT is OK?

    I’m guessing the domain license for the website will run out eventually, the fact its still up keeps me hoping LT is out there somewhere.

    • 202. ritalee8383  |  September 12, 2016 at 10:06 pm

      That’s a wonderful thought.

    • 203. Sheila  |  September 13, 2016 at 9:44 pm

      This is going to be a bit morbid but I looked thru identifyus (search site for unidentified remains) but there wasn’t any which would match what little we know about LT. (blonde, mid/late 20s, probably located in the upper north east etc).

      • 204. Homaira  |  September 17, 2016 at 2:24 pm

        Thanks for doing this.

    • 205. Sheila  |  September 13, 2016 at 9:50 pm

      Also, on her other blog, the last time she posted was May of 2014 and that’s still up.

      • 206. themooglet  |  September 14, 2016 at 7:46 am

        LT has another blog? Is that the private one you can subscribe too? I tried to subscribe a long while back but heard nothing.

        • 207. lifewater2013  |  September 23, 2016 at 10:17 pm

          Yes, you needed to have sent her a message back when she started it in May of 2013.

  • 208. Nancy  |  September 23, 2016 at 9:54 am

    Still looking for you. When you are ready to come back. We will be here and we will be very pleased to hear from you.

  • 209. Eve and Ella  |  September 30, 2016 at 4:26 am

    This was probably my favourite blog ever. But something has happened (good or bad) to the author and perhaps blogging wasn’t for her any more. I do hope you could at least say goodbye! 😦

  • 210. ritalee8383  |  October 4, 2016 at 7:40 pm

    Hi LT! Still thinking about you.

  • 211. s00147954  |  October 7, 2016 at 7:03 am

    Missin’ your soul LT 🙂

  • 212. songsforsilences  |  October 9, 2016 at 9:31 pm

    I hope you’re doing okay, LT, and that you are finding healing, bit by bit. I really miss you and your voice. Just praying you’re still around. Sending love.

  • 213. songsforsilences  |  October 9, 2016 at 9:37 pm

    Also, does anyone know anything about KC? I wonder if she has an online presence and could tell us if LT is alive. Of course, if she did, she probably would have already, but just a desperate thought… 😦

    • 214. coccomuffin  |  October 13, 2016 at 2:07 pm

      I don’t think KC knows anything about this blog so there’s no way to know how LT is doing 😦

  • 215. coccomuffin  |  October 13, 2016 at 2:09 pm

    Hey LT, just stopped by to say hi and miss you! Hope you’re safe, in good company and happy!

  • 216. atetothebar  |  October 19, 2016 at 10:57 am

    I’ve been reading your blog for years and am still wondering where you went so abruptly. I have two foster teens in my life and your wisdom has helped us through some tough times. I hope you are okay.

  • 217. ritalee8383  |  October 20, 2016 at 9:33 pm

    Always wondering about you LT and wishing the best you the best.

  • 218. kimberly williams  |  November 4, 2016 at 3:01 pm

    I know its selfish but I do wish she would have left someone somewhere her blog info so if she did finally have more than she could stand and went to be with her beloved lost dog on a different plane of existiance that we would have some way to know and not be left hanging! I just don’t think she truly believes the online community cared about her like I know I did and others from what ive read LT we miss you every day!!!

  • 219. themooglet  |  November 15, 2016 at 10:18 am

    Damn guys, I just looked up this this domain name and its for sale. I guess LT isn’t around to monitor or update it.

    I hope you are happy whereever you are LT. We continue to think of you.

    • 220. ritalee8383  |  November 15, 2016 at 6:10 pm

      Oh boy.

    • 221. s00147954  |  November 24, 2016 at 9:59 am

      Where did you see that??

  • 222. ritalee8383  |  November 15, 2016 at 6:10 pm

    Hi LT. I don’t even know what to say anymore. Just checking in.

  • 223. Homaira  |  November 21, 2016 at 8:54 pm

    In memory of LT’s blog, I’ve saved all of the email notifications I’ve received from the blog since I subscribed in 2013, with the posts included in the text. I have about 80 of them, if I’m counting correctly (!). That also means that I’m missing a lot of the earlier posts, however; does anyone here have them saved? Some of the posts are still up, but she oftentimes archived/deleted some really beautiful ones.

    • 224. s00147954  |  November 24, 2016 at 9:55 am

      Unfortunately I don’t have a lot saved :/ I’ve Always liked the idea of getting As many of LT’s posts together and making them into some sort of book/archive/collection. I know it wasn’t uncommon for LT to delete posts though. I miss her 😦

  • 225. coccomuffin  |  November 25, 2016 at 2:22 pm

    Thinking of you LT ((♡))
    I keep hoping you are alive and well…

  • 226. Cheryl  |  November 29, 2016 at 8:46 am

    hey LT, I just want to let you know that you really inspire me to keep going. Been following your blog since 2010 and I really love your thoughts and the way you write from the heart. please let me know if you are ok, come back and say hi to all of us please

  • 227. ritalee8383  |  November 30, 2016 at 11:57 pm

    How did that dental appointment go?

  • 228. sageplant  |  December 11, 2016 at 2:10 am

    LT left a very real and honest impression for all that return and hope to see a word from her…I send my respect to you…wherever you may be I hope it is loving and has peace….

  • 229. jessithelibrarian  |  December 18, 2016 at 12:16 pm

    Popping back in to let you know you are being thought of and missed. I hope you are okay….

  • 230. ritalee8383  |  December 19, 2016 at 7:07 pm

    Hi LT. I hope all is well with you.

  • 231. Foster Mom in Training  |  December 20, 2016 at 11:58 pm

    I miss you LT. Merry Christmas wherever you are. ❤

  • 232. coccomuffin  |  December 24, 2016 at 9:56 am

    Merry Christmas LT. You are in my thoughts! ((♡))

  • 233. Stephanie  |  December 24, 2016 at 9:58 pm

    Hi LT, still thinking of you. It’s Christmas Eve and I hope you are well, wherever you are. After following your blog for several years, my husband and I decided to adopt a 17 yr old boy from foster care. You’re a special person to many of us.

  • 234. ritalee8383  |  December 25, 2016 at 12:30 am

    Merry Christmas LT.

  • 235. s00147954  |  December 25, 2016 at 9:01 am

    Merry Christmas LT! From myself and all of us.

  • 236. dinah1007  |  December 31, 2016 at 10:18 pm

    If you are still with us and checking this, Happy New Year! Hope that your life is filled with happiness.

  • 237. Sherrie VanSickle  |  January 5, 2017 at 11:45 pm

    Bruce Raymond Fisher this post date was your birthday in 2015. Come home Bruce to Iowa get a dog live with you family that really loves you…..

  • 238. Sherrie VanSickle  |  January 5, 2017 at 11:54 pm

    WTF, if you lt are my foster cousin. You better be in Iowa. I’ve been trying to find you for 14 years damn it…notify me,! Iiwa is home and blood family!!!!!!!

    • 239. ritalee8383  |  January 9, 2017 at 11:20 pm

      LT is a female.

  • 240. Anka  |  January 17, 2017 at 3:22 pm

    Hey LT – checking in. Miss your voice, I hope you’re in a great place and don’t “need” the blog anymore. But I also wish you’d be able to curate your blog into a book for foster parents one day!

  • 241. lifewater2013  |  January 18, 2017 at 1:48 pm

    Ugh. Accidentally went to her old blog and the top most post is “I am alive” and got kinda excited for a second before I saw the post date of 2014.

    • 242. s00147954  |  January 21, 2017 at 3:03 am

      LT has an old blog??

    • 244. toinfinityandbiond  |  March 3, 2017 at 2:18 pm

      I did the exact same thing just now. I don’t know why it redirected me there, my heart skipped a beat until I saw the date.

  • 245. coccomuffin  |  January 18, 2017 at 2:51 pm

    LT, just stopping by to say I’m thinking about you. You’re truly missed! ((♡))

  • 246. Sarah  |  January 20, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    LT, I wish you would let us know you are ok…

  • 247. ritalee8383  |  January 21, 2017 at 1:33 am

    Wondering how you are. It would be wonderful to just let us know you are still with us. That’s what we worry about. We worry about you because we care. Even if your absence is because you don’t want to blog anymore that would be fine. But if you could just tell us that so that we don’t continue to worry about you & wonder about what happened to you.

  • 248. skylarsmom2013  |  February 1, 2017 at 4:15 pm

    Hope you are okay. ❤ ❤ ❤

  • 249. Puzzle  |  February 1, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    Just thinking of you tonight and I hope where ever you are it’s safe and warm.

  • 250. ritalee8383  |  February 16, 2017 at 8:07 pm

    Just checking in LT to let you know I’m thinking of you.

  • 251. coccomuffin  |  February 21, 2017 at 1:32 pm

    Thinking of you LT… ((♡))

  • 252. LW  |  March 7, 2017 at 5:21 pm

    I hope you are OK.

  • 253. ritalee8383  |  March 20, 2017 at 2:08 pm

    I’m always hoping you’ll check in LT.

  • 254. AnnMarie  |  March 29, 2017 at 7:44 pm

    Thinking of you, too.

  • 255. e  |  March 30, 2017 at 5:56 pm

    Same as the others, just wondering if you’re doing well…

    • 256. Stephanie  |  April 1, 2017 at 2:08 pm

      Thinking of you today. Our family just finished foster classes and the adoption classes are coming up, we are adopting a 17yr. Also, at your encouragement, we reconnected with two kids I used to be a CASA for 15 yrs ago. You said, being young men, it might take longer for them to come around and you were right -2 years. You make a difference, LT. I hope you are well.

  • 257. ritalee8383  |  April 11, 2017 at 10:39 pm

    Wondering how you are.

  • 258. Cheryl  |  April 14, 2017 at 11:35 am

    missing you LT

  • 259. jpirog2013  |  April 15, 2017 at 12:48 pm

    Like the others, still checking in, hoping you are OK.

  • 260. famcoordinator  |  April 17, 2017 at 12:45 pm

    This is one of the best foster care blogs ever. Your posts are incredibly helpful to prospective foster families. I hope you are spending this time healing. I hope the reason we no longer hear from you is that your life has moved forward. Many blessings to you.
    Wishing you happiness, love and peace.

  • 261. themooglet  |  April 21, 2017 at 3:57 am

    Hi, Just checking in again.
    I too hope you are happy and healthy and healing. Sending you lots of hugs.

  • 262. Caitlin  |  April 21, 2017 at 10:14 am

    Hi LT!

    I found your blog while researching a paper about how to best provide care for children in foster care. Thank you for providing such caring and honest advice! I also hope you are doing well! I would like to please reference your blog in my paper.

    Thanks so much,

  • 263. dhardawa  |  April 22, 2017 at 9:06 pm

    I find myself coming back every few months even though I’ve pretty much accepted that she’s gone. It breaks my heart. She had so much to give, but also so much pain. Little does she realize the impact she had on so many people.

  • 264. dinah1007  |  April 25, 2017 at 10:32 pm

    My granddaughter just tried to commit suicide. She had so many people rallied around her. As I grieve for her and the pain that she is in I hope that you are free from pain and have love surrounding you, not just with the blog community but also with those that can see you.

  • 265. ritalee8383  |  May 19, 2017 at 5:14 pm

    I’ll always think of you LT.

  • 266. themooglet  |  June 1, 2017 at 1:18 pm

    Still thinking of you LT. Hope you are happy and safe, wherever that may be.

  • 267. coccomuffin  |  June 3, 2017 at 6:52 am

    Thinking of you LT, always will ♡

  • 268. ritalee8383  |  June 18, 2017 at 5:16 am

    Just checking in. Always hoping to see a new post by you LT.

    • 269. John Pirog  |  June 21, 2017 at 9:51 pm

      Same for me, I will not give up.

      • 270. lifewater2013  |  June 22, 2017 at 9:17 pm

        Same. I stop by every 2-3 months.

  • 271. Anka  |  June 19, 2017 at 11:31 am

    Miss your voice LT. Hope you’re out in the world having a wonderful life, and that’s why you’re not on the blog anymore. But worried that’s not the case.

  • 272. dinah1007  |  July 5, 2017 at 2:11 pm

    Sweet LT, I miss your words of wisdom. I really thought that you were getting to be as smart as me, or is that as smart ass as me? Still hoping that you are happy wherever you are.

  • 273. Rhiannon  |  July 15, 2017 at 11:24 pm

    Hey LT; it’s been almost two years since your last post, but I still think about you and check back from time to time. It’s clear from the comments on this post that you touched a lot of lives with your writing. I hope you and your furbabies are doing well.

  • 274. Mooglet  |  July 17, 2017 at 3:50 am

    Hey LT, I still check by every few weeks, hoping you will have swung by and told us you are ok.

    I hope you won’t mind but I’m going to take a copy of your advice for foster parents and save it in draft (not published) on my blog. This means that if this site ever vanishes we still have some of your words of wisdom. I won’t publish it unless this blog vanishes, or you give permission, and I’ll make sure you get full credit.

    Always sending you my best wishes


    • 275. manyofus1980  |  July 19, 2017 at 8:03 pm

      hi. I am not a foster kid but I am an abuse survivor with did and ptsd and I blog over at I was lt’s friend. I haven’t heard from her in a while, months, overa year, I think she may have killed herself. x

      • 276. ritalee8383  |  July 22, 2017 at 1:00 am

        Just because she hasn’t blogged doesn’t mean she has taken her own life.

        • 277. John Pirog  |  August 15, 2017 at 2:16 pm

          Fully agree with you. SHe may have just decided to stop, that is my assumption.

      • 278. livefiretj  |  August 17, 2017 at 11:38 am

        Completely agree with everyone. Sometimes its hard to blog. I spent a year not making a post. She’s okay. Because she is like us, we are strong.

  • 279. manyofus1980  |  July 19, 2017 at 8:21 pm

    guys, I’ve been trying and trying to email lt. I think its bad news. I think she may have killed herself. all the evidence points to it. no posts in almost 2 years. no emails. no messages. nothing. I wish there was some way to know. does anyone know any more? reply to me if you do please. I am going out of my mind with worry. xx thanks guys

  • 280. s00147954  |  July 20, 2017 at 1:07 pm

    Where I am it’s just ticked over to the 21st of July – two years to the day since we’ve seen LT.

  • 281. bnasage  |  July 21, 2017 at 4:47 pm

    It’s been two years today since your last update. I miss you so much, LT.

    The lady who wrote the (award winning) show about your life in england.

    • 282. ritalee8383  |  July 22, 2017 at 1:01 am

      Link please to this.

    • 283. Mooglet  |  July 27, 2017 at 3:56 am

      I’d like a link to this please.

  • 284. ritalee8383  |  July 22, 2017 at 1:02 am

    Oh LT I wish you would post something. Just one word.

  • 285. dinah1007  |  July 26, 2017 at 1:54 pm

    I guess that when we read that KC had your dog we should have expected that you were planning to end it all. Somehow going to the dentist made me think that you were getting better. Love and miss you where ever you are.

  • 286. toinfinityandbiond  |  August 14, 2017 at 2:23 pm

    Hey LT, stopping by like I do every few months to say hi. ❤

    Its been a long time without any sign that you are still with us, but I hope in some way you still see these comments. More than anything though, I hope you have found peace wherever you are. No more pain, no more hurt. Just you and Moonlight, forever and happy together.

  • 287. Jona  |  August 17, 2017 at 11:23 am

    I hope she’s alright,
    I miss you LT..

  • 288. livefiretj  |  August 17, 2017 at 11:34 am

    Where are you LT? I’m still here. I wish you would respond to my emails. I hope you are ok.


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