Archive for August 6, 2018

Ah dammit.


butterfly_bandage_by_isananonymusAh, dammit. I still struggle with this and it is hard to stop when you don’t remember doing it. After work, I took a nap and woke up with a bloody arm. I wish I would cut this out. It’s such a difficult thing to absorb, that I hurt myself in order to feel better or to send a message to myself.

Trust me, it has gotten much better since I saw Dr. Val, but it still happens. This is another thing that should have been helped when I was growing up, but no-one gave a shit and now I still struggle with this.

I feel like I am sliding towards depression. I laid on the floor after I woke up and talked to myself for awhile, telling my brain to stay well.  Not that it is that easy. Shit, don’t we all wish it were!  I feel alot of stress with all the changes that have occurred in tjmw-june17-newsltter-outcast-graphiche past two months.  It feels like it is taxing  my brain.

I wish I knew how to make friends. I tend to be so quiet and observant of others, yet don’t know how to connect to them. I feel like I am on a planet alone, while everyone else is on another planet and I can’t reach them. I can’t figure out how to get to that planet with everyone else…

I am sure it starts with the ability to trust…

It’s lonely on my planet…


August 6, 2018 at 9:23 pm 15 comments

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