birth record?… who gives a crap? my life story is in foster care records that are stuck in a trap

question clipart


Do you realize that I CAN get my birth record but I CANT get my foster care records?  What the fuck?  These are examples of the responses I get–

“The only people who can access our records are those authorized by statute (xxxxx #:#-#.##) and in those circumstances, very little info is provided. The entire file cannot be released to you.” 

“EVERYONE, (including yourself) who requests information on a file MUST submit a written request for specific information to a Superior Court Judge, and they must have a darn good reason.  9 times out of 10, these requests are denied.  Even so, in the event the request is granted by the court, the individual requesting the information will never actually SEE the record. 

I think th153322-425x341-depressed-teenis is great for other people trying to get access to my records, but why do I have to ask for “specific” information.  Why can’t I have the record?  I have tried by phone and by email many many times.  And yes, I get the same type of response. Do these people have any clue how frustrating this is?

I thought now that I was “mature” and have some education behind me, that I would understand their response, but I dont.  My birth record represents one fleeting moment in my life… my foster care records represent years in my life.5-why-with-girl

A birth record says I was born to so-and-so… it gives the name of the person that was supposed to care for me.  My foster care records hide those names of those that did or who were supposed to care for me.  Tell me why are you hiding?

I dont care that my birth record tells me where I was born

……………..I care about my foster care records telling me where I lived

I dont care about my birth record telling me who I was born to

……………..I care about my foster care records telling me who I lived with

I dont care that my birth record claims I am a person

……………..I care that my foster care records explain the person (kid) I was

I don’t care that my birth record says I was alive when I was born

……………..I care about why I survived foster care and who helped and who didnt

I don’t care that my birth records says I was born at 9:52 PMyour-dumped-broght-pink-purple

………… I care about knowing how much time I spent at foster homes



Are foster parents part of the “lucky” bunch authorized by statute (xxxxx #:#-#.##).  I know its a state thing, but it seems crazy that foster parents get to see the records and the life/history of the child, but the foster child doesnt?


Isn’t it absurd that they give me my birth record that tells me I was alive, but they won’t give me my foster care records that tell me how I lived?




July 12, 2018 at 9:18 pm 31 comments

puffy cheetos and changes


i still love puffy cheetos.  i ate 2 bags of them today.  one for me and one for Dr.Val, although she doesnt eat crap.  i probably should have eaten an avocado or a grapefruit or something healthy, but puffy cheetos seemed better to me… dont you think so?

i worked all day.  yeah, that’s right. so i couldnt cry the whole day…or think the whole day about leaving Dr. Val… plus Dr. Val is on vacation, so i cant talk to her anyway.  i suppose if i sent her a text, she would respond, but heck, she is on vacation.

since you last read this blog, so many things have changed. man.  where do i start?

well ostock-photo-21834368-teddy-bear-and-box-full-of-toysbviously i am older, which is supposed to mean i am more mature.  but inside i still feel like a little kid. my heart does at least.  “parts” of me are still kids and i have the dam toys to prove it.  remember the parts?  well, they are better, but not totally gone… sigh.




i moved.  about 6 hours away from Dr. Val.    that sucks.

i still have crappy hair

i actually got a cell phone. KC had to show me how to use it and i still suck at it, but now i am like everyone else in the world for owning that one thing.

you all remember Moonlight and Shadow and Harbor, well as you know i lost them and it dam near killed me.  Dr. Val sat with me everyday after I lost Harbor and Moonlight. If it wasnt for her… … … …

….but anyway, it was so hard not having animals around me that i went down to a great rescue center in my city and got Bean and Blaze.

Bean looks like this



And Blaze looks like this


LOL.  I went to get ONE and they gave me TWO!  They told me they had to go together because Blaze was a surrogate mom for Bean.  Little Bean was found really small and alone, so they put her with Blaze and Blaze took care of her. The rescue people bottle fed Bean, but Blaze did the rest… So they had to come together… no choice.

They were in the cage for so long that when they got free they were CRAZY.  oh my.             i DANCING BLACK CATdidnt think my apartment would handle it.  Bean was especially crazy because she was little. Bean is still crazy and she talks alot. Meow, meow, meow, meow.  I can have a real conversation with her.  I talk and she talks back.  LOL. She knocks things off the counter and then looks around like “what just happened” — I am like “Bean, not again!”

Blaze has calmed down alot.  She loves food more than me. She is an orange tabby and the rescue lady told me that most orange tabbys are male, so Blaze is really special….BUT she is in charge.. she walks around with a HUGE attitude….and who is she in charge of?

Bean, me and….

…so about 6 months after I got Bean and Blaze, I went looking at the rescue center again.  Yup.  I asked about a dog. Like a week later, the rescue lady called me up and said “LT, we have a dog for you!.”

Say hi to Tide… she looks like this


Tide was like 1 and very scared. She was even more scared than i am. She barely knew how to walk.  She sat on the chair and just tried to hide. She winced when i went to pet her.  But i just gave her caring and consistency and now she loves to walk and greets people to be petted.  She wants to be petted all the time now.  She even puts her paw up when she wants more…  She loves Dr. Val.

By the way, they all had different names when i adopted them… they didnt know their names anyway, but now they do…

… we all grew.

im sleepy now.  goodnight. peace.



July 10, 2018 at 10:44 pm 29 comments

Older Posts Newer Posts


This blog is copyrighted.
I know that means you can’t take my writing without my permission. If you do, something can happen.
Plus, that is just a real shitty thing to do — take someone’s thoughts — so don’t do it!

I am happy if you want to use my writing to help those involved in the foster care system, but please, leave a comment asking if it is ok and letting me know.


Copyrighted 2009-2018

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Monthly Posts

July 2018
« Aug