ARGH. So today was my first dentist appointment. i have 16 cavities that need to be filled or fixed or whatever you do to teeth. The dentist, Dr. J is great, don’t get me wrong, but i think i literally got dumped by the dentist. The first person ever to get dumped by a dentist is ME. My front teeth look fabulous, but i feel dumb and dumped…
Shit, i was all anxious and moving my legs and twitching and clenching my fists and voices in my head were screaming all kinds of things and …..I hope to god the things didn’t come out of my mouth
…. then it went like this when it was over:
DR J: Let’s talk about your teeth, and I feel like I need to tell you about something.
ME: <Still a little dizzy from nitrous and all the voices in my head.> what?
DR. J: There are dentists that do sedation dentistry. They give you a couple of pills, and you are semi-conscious, while they work on your teeth. They can do it all at once. You just need to have someone pick you up afterwards. I feel that this is a great option for you.
DR. J: Sedatation dentistry. I don’t do it because I did not get the training, but there are dentists that do it. You won’t remember a thing. I am really concerned about how stressed you get.
ME: <Suddenly realizing what is going on>… It’s NOT you. You are a great dentist…. I don’t goto doctors or anyone like that…. it’s….. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and…
DR J: What?
ME: <…..swallowing to hold the tears back> …..I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and I HATE to be confined. <I said PTSD because it’s one label they use on me… it’s one that people would understand I thought> It’s not you… Sedation dentistry would be worse… because i wouldn’t know what happens…..
…..Being confined is hard for me….
ME: i dont have any family … to drive me. or friends. i…..
ME: You want me to go somewhere else….?
DR. J: I would do the work, but I just felt that you should know that sedation dentistry is an option. We will go real slow. Take months instead of weeks.
DR J: Do you know how to brush your teeth?
ME: <saying the first thing that came to my mind….> in circles?! <i thought i was right… i heard that somewhere from someone once….i could have sworn i got that right…> in circles…. <making circles with my fingers>
DR J: No….<I think she rolled her eyes> .. we will deal with that later.
How could I be so fucking stupid. Of course I am stupid. But I swear someone once told me to brush in circles…. At that point, I realized that once again LT is a fucking pain in the ass. I wanted to tell her that I haven’t been to the dentist that much… that my life was crazy… but I sat there looking fucking stupid.
DR J: <left to get a phone call> Tell D up front to schedule you for an hour…..
I got up and walked to the front desk. D was not there, but one of the hygienists was. DR.J’s helper followed me up to the check-out front desk.
DR J’S HELPER: Schedule her for an hour.
HYGIENIST: for one cavity? <laughing>
DR. J’S HELPER: Let me look.
DR. J’s HELPER: Let me see… we could do these together and these together and maybe…. Ah, just schedule the hour.. We will let DR J figure it out.
HYGIENIST: Are wednesdays good? <still laughing at me>
ME: Do you want me to go somewhere else? It’s ok…..
DR J’s HELPER: No, it ok. She just wanted to give you a choice…..
Then I was handed a card with a day and time on it.
I don’t know what is worse…. knowing that the dentist is bothered by me and wants me to go somewhere else or having the hygienist laugh at me. I felt like screaming at the hygienist behind the desk that PTSD or other mental problems are not funny. They make it so I am scared to get treatment for stuff… imagine living like that….
…..but I didn’t, I just left and went home…. me and my dumped teeth…..